Depression, Anxiety, Co-Dependency and Weight Loss
Wednesday, July 19, 2017
So, in the past two years I have yoyo dieted to the point that I look like I was a balloon with a leak. I got so big that I felt like the state puff marshmallow. Then I got focused and determined and did the gym like a mad woman and lost a ton of weight... and I was feeling on top of the world! Then, my Depression / Anxiety kicked in... which kept telling me I'm never going to achieve my goals... why bother going... I'm always going to be fat. I'm never going to get to where I want to be. Just stop... so, I ballooned back up. Clothes fit and look ugly again... my self esteem is diminished. I have very poor self worth.
Depression, Anxiety and my new found friend to add to the mix relationship co-dependency has destroyed me. I'm so busy worrying about what my husband says and does, who he's talking to, what he's up to, that I have lost sight of what matters the most to me.... and that is my health. My weight, my happiness.
My husband of 20 years has ALWAYS pushed me to find my own happiness outside of him. Whether that be joining a book club, a crochet group, a photography group, etc. But, find something that brings me joy. He's always been super supportive... but, in the past few years... he's become distant, avoidant and worn out by my behavior.
My co-dependency says - My happiness is YOU. If you are unhappy... I am unhappy.
THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!
I'm at the point in my life where either I make drastic life changes or I lose the man I love unconditionally. My best friend.
He hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies the past few years... and I'm VERY angry with him for it... but, I get why he does these things... If someone never let me breathe or be myself... and is always underfoot... I'd get frustrated too.
These diseases I have are EXHAUSTING. But, in researching how to overcome each of them... they all begin with EXERCISE. Move and your brain will forget what you are dwelling on. Work out, you'll feel better about yourself. Move, and your brain will focus on the work out and give it a rest. Your self esteem will sky rocket cause you will begin to look and feel great.
The compliments will start to kick in and it will provide you with the necessary energy to overcome any obstacle.
I WANT THAT! I want to overcome my self doubt, my anxiety, my low self esteem, my self loathing, to feel confident, strong, empowering ready to rule the world! I want to be co-dependent ON MYSELF!
I KNOW that my own happiness comes from within and no one else can make me happy but me... but, in the moment... all of that flies out the window and I get eaten alive by anxiety.
I'm open to any and all suggestions and recommendations and helpful tips and trick on how to overcome these demons through exercise techniques, super foods to help overcome these feelings, things to avoid eating that cause flare ups.
I am at my own breaking point. I am ready for a MASSIVE overhaul. Nothing at this moment in my life is good. It is time to change things up a bit. THIS is my new beginning.