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Lyme disease

Wednesday, October 04, 2017

emoticon I wish I had never heard the diagnosis LYME disease....today....I'm feeling really defeated, so I thought I would just put my struggle out there. Sorry, if to some, it is negative, but I need to get all the emotional junk out of my head and writing, even though I don't like to write, makes me feel better.

I'm having a hard time writing.....the words are difficult for me to find and even harder to spell! This is part of what makes me so frustrated!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and then.....there is the ridicule people like me face because......I look fine......yesterday you were fine.......Oh.....it's all in your head!

I have been on a roller coaster with Lyme disease for at least 15 years! Every time I think the "coast is clear" and this thing is gone, it comes back! It has surfaced again! emoticon Part of me just wants to throw in the towel....but then.....I remind myself of my faith.....I CAN do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength! Philippians 4:13

okay......enough of that..... this time, as a result of Spark People participation, i AM different.

Here's my plan....I am going to do everything I can to be "kind" to myself as I battle to get my life back! I'm going to follow the Cowden protocol until I know this "germ" is gone, God please help me financially ! I will be kind to myself by doing things that make me happy....brushing Buttercup....taking a long warm bath....watching the sunrise and set.....reading all the wonderful blogs on Spark People....playing with my dogs and goats......I will continue my quest to eating food that will help my body as it fights to get well.

I will overcome......because I AM an over comer! ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Until next time.....I hope you all have a day filled with everything that makes you smile!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I just came across your page. I hope your struggle with the Lyme disease is better today.

    I know where you are coming from. I have been fighting a battle for over 16 years now.
    I know exactly what you mean about struggling to write and come up with words. I have been there.
    I know what you mean about others disbelief about you feeling bad, because when they see you, they think you look great!
    I know the feeling of wanting to quit. But then exactly how do you quit? You don't. You have family and loved ones that need you to keep trying no matter what.

    I know what helps me the most if praying for the Lord's strength and wisdom and clarity of mind; to get me though the day, before my feet even hit the floor.
    Then I ask him to help me to be a blessing to someone that needs me. I is the most important thing I do, that helps me I think.

    I hope you are still hangin in there and Sparkin' my friend. I hope you get an email that someone commented on your blog!

    Take care now emoticon emoticon
    878 days ago
    Thank you for opening your heart and letting us know how you were feeling. I didn't find you negative!!! I found you were being honest at a very difficult time (and rather positive in my view... planning what you could do, deciding to enjoy life as much as you possibly can and focusing on things that make you happy... that is being positive to me!)...
    Take good care of yourself and let us know how you are doing! emoticon
    1062 days ago
    1071 days ago
    SORRY TO HEAR......... emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1075 days ago
  • LINDA!
    I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. emoticon
    1081 days ago
  • no profile photo CD16401498
    I came to your page here because you left a very nice comment about my blog about digital friends. Then I decided to read your blog and I wanted to give you some encouragement.

    I have multiple sclerosis and before the diagnosis in 1992, I was told it was in my head, that females are emotional, etc.; a bunch of crap for 8 years. I finally found a doctor who diagnosed my symptoms which were not in my head. When I read your blog, it reminded me of those days and I feel for you!! You are doing the right thing in choosing to take care of yourself and do what you want and need to do for yourself. emoticon Never doubt what you know to be true for yourself. Ultimately, you will find someone who will agree and help you. God bless you. I also believe in God and He will help you find your way. emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Love, Chelsea

    P.S. Love your page! Very positive and love your horse emoticon
    1082 days ago
    I don't know a lot about Lyme disease, but assume people that ridicule do so because they are ignorant in more ways than one. I would probably have a whole bunch of things planned to say to them like:

    Me: Well, you seem to know a lot about the disease. When were you diagnosed?
    Them: I don't have the disease...
    Me: Ohhhhhhhh, so basically you have no idea what you are talking about? Hmmmm. Well then I'd like to thank you for sharing your uniformed and completely ignorant opinion. It means a lot to me.

    Enough of me being snarky. People don't understand chronic conditions unless they are living with one. Faith is such a blessing. I think being kind to yourself is an excellent plan. You can never go wrong with that.

    I just started reading a book called Dancing With Elephants. The author has Huntington's and has decided to live with mindfulness and in the now. I am not very far into it, but I get where he is coming from.

    Today I have been thinking about how the pain I have been having is a gift. I wonder if it draws me closer to God. Because I think if someone asked me if I had this pain long term, who I would go through it for, it would be only for people I care about. It wouldn't be for a random stranger, or someone that rejects me. But God doesn't think that way. He went through pain beyond what I will ever feel even for people that rejected and detested Him. My pain helps me understand Him more.

    Hugs and prayers. God never leaves you. You can do all things through Christ.

    1082 days ago
    Lyme disease is not fun. Use to have a client where I worked that suffered with it. So many up and downs. Just take care, and know we feel for you.
    1082 days ago
    I knew someone who was also plagued with Lyme disease and she went through the same thing.
    Many prayers for your healing. emoticon
    1082 days ago
    Lyme disease is an outwardly invisible disease, but it can do terrible things to our bodies internally. You are blessed to have the diagnosis - that is a huge issue! - and plans to deal with it. Keeping positive is hard, but really helps.
    My prayers are with you. emoticon
    1082 days ago
    One of the better things to come from the technology of social media is that invisible diseases aren't as invisible as they used to be. People are becoming more and more aware of them, and for those who are battling one of these illnesses, the support is out there. I'm sure you will still find people out there who assume you're faking it (I get frequent migraines, and I deal with that, too), but HERE you will find love, support, and no judgement. And please blog away! It's better to get those feelings out and deal with them instead of letting them fester. You WILL get through this, and your SparkFriends will be here for you. emoticon emoticon
    1082 days ago
    Nobody should look down on you. This is not something you asked for! Always blog it out to stop the swirling in your head. We all have our pain and it's healthy to release it!

    You have a fantastic plan. No good can come from being down on yourself. Being kind to yourself and finding small pleasures is sure to affect other areas of your life!

    Wishing you good days ahead!

    1082 days ago
  • JANET552
    Wow! I didn't realize Lyme Disease was so hard to eradicate. My heart goes out to you. Trust in your plan and keep taking good care of you!
    1082 days ago
    Lyme is a terrible disease... I know first hand as my oldest daughter has it. She just passed her first five years of being cancer-free from breast cancer, and now this battle has also come to her. My heart goes out to both of you. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1082 days ago
    Very sorry you are going through this. I will include you when I light my special intentions candle today.
    1082 days ago
    Praying this will be the end of Lyme frustrations. Love your faith in God's strength as I remember times I knew He was with me when I needed strength. emoticon
    1082 days ago
    so very sorry. Lyme disease is so very difficult to deal with. Sending prayers and many hugs your way.

    1082 days ago
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