Problems where to start?
Thursday, October 05, 2017
I have had it up to here with problems I can't seem to get anywhere with my diet and exercise because everyone else seems to take Center Stage! I was doing good I was doing great and then my mother-in-law had a mini-stroke then she had two more she got out of the hospital and needed somebody to be by her side because she's getting dementia. So I decided I would be the bigger person and go to Louisiana and stay by her side and it was the worst mistake ever don't get me wrong I love her to pieces but she is getting up there almost 97 and she is completely difficult and angry that she can't get up and go anymore like she used to. I have found myself crying and bitter at the circumstances she has other children that are older than me that can come and do it but don't my husband is tired of being alone and I haven't seen my grandkids in a whole minute I have been trying to do right by the family but my diabetes is not doing very much better so I am trying right now as I speak to trade off with someone else to take care of Mom. My daughter broke up with her boyfriend and came and moved in for a while with all kinds of problems of her own then instead of trying to make it on her own she got married to the guy he is a wonderful person but he's a cheater. My other daughter got caught up doing wrong and I ended up with her baby again he is almost three which leaves me no time to myself I have to stand up for myself because if I don't no one else will I cry myself to sleep at night after my husband has gone to sleep because it's tearing my heart out to know I have to put them out of my house and let them live their own life and quit bringing me into it before I end up getting a divorce my husband's fed up!! The area where mom lives has a bunch of undesirables hanging out selling drugs drinking alcohol shooting guns so it isn't a safe place for me to exercise and besides she doesn't want me to leave out the house hopefully everything will start looking up for me soon because I am home sick and ready to get this weight off me again! God can only give me the Strength trust me I have been through the wringer my weight was down to 148 and now it's back up to 183 due to not being a able to move around and do exercise and they eat like Popeye's chicken is in the backyard they put grease in everything that they cook and mama is territorial about her kitchen so she doesn't want me in there cooking my own thing go figure everytime that I try to get in there and make a healthy meal my brother-in-law is looking over my shoulder so I have just given up trying because it ends up in an argument I didn't mean to be absent from here for so long but I hope you can understand that I'm looking to do better for myself in the future so I don't keep yo-yoing and now that I have diabetes a year later since I found out I am starting all over again my doctor is giving me a chance to try a new medicine 45 days to see can I get the A1c`s down before he puts me on insulin needles. Pray for me because right now it's all we can do!