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Food Addiction; I am an addict

Monday, October 16, 2017

February was my last blog that I posted. February I was going to get back on track after the holidays. February I was 40 pounds lighter. February I didn't do what I said I was going to do.

So here I am in in October almost 70 pounds heavier then I was a year ago. I am now having to buy new clothes in a bigger size because all of the cute clothes I bought last year don't fit. I can see the reaction on peoples face, it is a look of sadness and oh she was doing so well now look at her. But most of all I have let myself down. I was so proud of myself, and I was so happy with all of the hard work I had done to get me where I was. I thought I had a grip on it and I could handle it. That is the first mistake of an addict.

I thought I could cheat every once and a while, but I had control of what I was eating. But it wasn't just the eating. I stopped going to the gym. I loved going to the gym, I had a routine, I knew what I was doing and I felt amazing when I left. I started making excuses about not going to the gym. This is the second mistake of an addict.

Yo yo dieting. I tried different things thinking this was going to be it. I would start out back on the VLCD which is how I lost all my weight before. I wouldn't make it the whole day and give up. I ordered and spent a lot of time on 21 day fix planning and making menus, I didn't make it through the whole day. Then I began to think that this is how I am suppose to be and I just have to except that I am to be overweight my whole life and just deal with it. This is the third mistake of an addict.

I gave up my diet, I gave up the gym, and I began to give up on me. I became depressed, I let cookies, and cakes, and pasta, and soda control me again. Until I finally looked at my bigger clothes, pictures over the last year, and how I don't want to do things like I once did and realized did this once, I know I can do it again. I know I can battle back. Yes it is going to be harder, and yes I am going to have to fight like crazy but as an addict I can learn to control my triggers. I will always be an addict, that is never going to change. I will struggle with food my entire life. But I am not going to let food control how I live my life from this moment on.

One step at a time, one minute at a time, one day at a time I will earn the number on the scale that I want to see.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Glad you are back, taking it one day at time. Focus on the now, hugs !!!
    1231 days ago
    I'm right here with you. I have the same addiction and I have decided today to take my life back and go back to the things that make me feel good. If you need support I am here for you! You can do this! You are still my inspiration and I know you will overcome this time and be successful in your journey!
    1231 days ago
    emoticon You've made the decision to get back in control and that's what matters. emoticon
    1236 days ago
    Research Dr Joel Fuhrman Eat to Live. Eat this way and watch the cravings/addiction go AWAY...AND lose weight!@
    1236 days ago
    Glad your back. You can do this. I need to rethink my goals and keep better track. I havent been doing things the way I was before. Here for you.
    1236 days ago
    Hugs & LOVE Sam!!! You know your triggers. Now let's learn to work them so they don't work you!!!
    1236 days ago
    HUGS. Glad you're back. Wondered where you were, but . . . you're back! That's important.
    1237 days ago
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