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Every choice matters

Saturday, October 21, 2017

So I have done the classic falling off the wagon and rebounding after weight loss with weight gain. I'd like to blame it on menopause dragging my body through metabolic turmoil (true) or self-medicating the increasing, constant stress at work with comfort food (also true) . Essentially my issues have to do with lifelong attitudes toward food which are no longer compatible with the metabolism of my middle-aged years, tinged with a bit of arrogance/denial that maybe it won't happen to me, like it happens to so many others.

Yeah, right.

So today I saw my doctor for my annual physical. I took a deep breath before I stepped on the scale and the world didn't end. I had a long, frank talk with my doctor and my ego didn't burst into flames of embarrassment. I was poked and prodded, constricted and bled, and hardly winced at the results. I may have regained 80% of the weight I lost, but somehow I am healthier: my blood pressure is now ~135/95 instead of ~170/130 when I started this trek 4 years ago, and that was the primary motivation and urgency for me to lose weight to begin with.

So I am back on the wagon for a second round of improvement. This time my target is not just a specific number so much as a specific state: we are going to have a big family vacation next summer to celebrate both kids graduating, and I'd like to not be self-conscious so that we take lots of pictures. And this time I recognize how important every food choice I make is. I've been living the last year making small justifications: I will let myself eat these nuts because I had a light lunch; it's okay to eat these chips since the salsa is healthy; I can eat these leftovers for a late-night snack because I didn't have much for breakfast. No, none of that is okay. Every food decision counts; they all add up to a very consequential sum, and every food decision should be evaluated in isolation.

So my streak of making healthy food decisions has started with 1 day done. I have 10 points more to trim off my blood pressure, and some serious family memory-making to look forward to.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KENDRACARROLL
    So great to hear from you!
    I am super good at rationalizing/justifying, too.
    Happy your blood pressure has improved despite the regain, and now that you have a baseline weight, AND the world is still spinning... :), it's a good time to restart your efforts.
    Best wishes.
    848 days ago
  • REMBRY
    listen dear friend you and are on the same wave .. I have a lot more years of this game .. yet kindred spirits I'm sure .. emoticon
    Last year when I went for my medical .. always close to Valentines .. my love gift to me .. from me ..
    My Doc was overly kind ..
    she said " you are extremely heathy .. happy and have great movement .. sure you could loose a few pounds .. but if you fell like you are dragging a piano behind you ..you can either take piano lessons or loose it ..

    its yours hon ..
    my best motivator ever ..

    never ever shy away from getting your picture taken .. those that love you will want you see you in the pictures for years to come ... radiate love .. love and happy makes us appear thinner and lighter .. because we are .. emoticon
    Donna
    852 days ago
  • BUTTONPOPPER1
    I am very happy to find your blog here today, dear Bemused! I had been missing you!

    That's great news about the improvement in your numbers, that despite the weight regain, your blood pressure was not as bad as you'd feared. I'm sure you weren't looking forward to that reckoning at the doctor's, but are relieved that it's over, that you've had an assessment, and you can now go forward armed with information and resolve. I am SO with you on the "lifelong attitudes toward food." I have been having huge blowups myself and need to make a fresh start, so I thank you for sharing your experience and making me feel that it's possible to change for the better, even at this late date.

    You will have the best vacation ever next year to celebrate that important milestone in your family history! That is truly something to look forward to, a great motivation to be as healthy and confident as you can be! You will do it!
    emoticon
    852 days ago
  • OSONIYE
    You said "every food decision should be evaluated in isolation".
    That is right on the money!! I wish you well. I know you can do it.
    852 days ago
  • P61763
    Thanks for sharing
    852 days ago
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