Every choice matters
Saturday, October 21, 2017
So I have done the classic falling off the wagon and rebounding after weight loss with weight gain. I'd like to blame it on menopause dragging my body through metabolic turmoil (true) or self-medicating the increasing, constant stress at work with comfort food (also true) . Essentially my issues have to do with lifelong attitudes toward food which are no longer compatible with the metabolism of my middle-aged years, tinged with a bit of arrogance/denial that maybe it won't happen to me, like it happens to so many others.
So today I saw my doctor for my annual physical. I took a deep breath before I stepped on the scale and the world didn't end. I had a long, frank talk with my doctor and my ego didn't burst into flames of embarrassment. I was poked and prodded, constricted and bled, and hardly winced at the results. I may have regained 80% of the weight I lost, but somehow I am healthier: my blood pressure is now ~135/95 instead of ~170/130 when I started this trek 4 years ago, and that was the primary motivation and urgency for me to lose weight to begin with.
So I am back on the wagon for a second round of improvement. This time my target is not just a specific number so much as a specific state: we are going to have a big family vacation next summer to celebrate both kids graduating, and I'd like to not be self-conscious so that we take lots of pictures. And this time I recognize how important every food choice I make is. I've been living the last year making small justifications: I will let myself eat these nuts because I had a light lunch; it's okay to eat these chips since the salsa is healthy; I can eat these leftovers for a late-night snack because I didn't have much for breakfast. No, none of that is okay. Every food decision counts; they all add up to a very consequential sum, and every food decision should be evaluated in isolation.
So my streak of making healthy food decisions has started with 1 day done. I have 10 points more to trim off my blood pressure, and some serious family memory-making to look forward to.