Well, today is the last day of 2017. The year has been interesting for lack of a better word. I need to let it go and look forward to the potential of 2018.
I've been promised changes at my job by my bosses in 2018. There was a time I "liked" my job but there have been issues this year. I almost left in August. I was asked to stay and now am being told that the situation will "improve soon". I'm gong to be hopeful and positive.
My personal life has been a roller coaster too. I think it's just all the stress of lately. I end up taking it out in fights with my hubby. We didn't used to fight. Now, it is just been "tense". I know it is my fault, I'm picking the fights. I'm just so stressed and that makes me angry. Then something stupid happens (you know, life) and I blow. I need to find a way to work on this.
Weight and fitness have been non-existant this past year. I'm acting like survival mode. In a way I've been there but it is stress, mostly work stress or work-stress feeding other stressors. I've allowed myself to be soft and indulgent. Needless to say - that has done me know favors.
So now that I've whined and b*tched and moaned about poor little Kitty it's time to look forward.
2018 - I'm not really ready to make "resolutions". I always break any sort of resolution within 2 or 3 days. So there really is no point. But I'm not being pessimistic. The New Year is a new opportunity. So what opportunities do I want to take advantage of?
1) Getting back to my fun and fitness. I enjoyed running and races. I enjoyed going out with my girls to the dunes and walking the trails by the house. Depressions has made me tired, but I know that walking (and eventually running) will help with my depression. So I need to get up and move daily. The girls need it and so do I. I can't count on anyone to go with me - I don't have friends anymore in the real word and my hubby just complains about going or doing anything with me.
2) Getting my house back. I've allowed my home to become something out of hoarders. My hubby disposes of NOTHING and over that last 18 months, the house has started to look like it needs an intervention. He has promised to "fix it" but I have to admit - I doubt he will actually do anything. So, I need to devote a few hours a day reclaiming my home.
3) Work. I'm giving the bosses until the end of February to make the promised changes. Then I'm going to put all my efforts into finding a place to land. I know it will be difficult, I have intelligence and skills but not the degree to back things up. I support my entire house of my job and insurance so it won't be easy. But I will find something, I have to believe in that.
4) Probably the hardest thing for me in the past year has been the loss of "flesh-y" friends. I had a few at work but they have all moved on to greener pastures. The two friends I had in the neighborhood are busy with their own lives and I just don't fit anymore. I'm not big on the whole "online" thing. I spend 12 hours a day working on a computer. Personally I want to come home and ignore it! It makes keep up relationships here and on FB "problematic". But, I am going to try harder as I NEED relationships. I need people to share with and enjoy life with. Online is all I have left. I'm hoping to deepen some friendships here. Maybe even hear some of your voices eventually. But I'm not going to go that far.
Well, I'm going to let my rambling end. Heck, I'm not even certain what I've written except for one fact. I have hope. I have hope that the future will get better. Hope that 2018 will be better and more prosperous than 2017. My word for the year of 2018 is HOPE.