This is something I don't feel like I can talk about on Facebook, and my closest friends already know my story. I felt like talking about it here just to get my feelings out, and as a reminder to look back upon when I lose track of my path.
I haven't been employed for years now. In that time, many habits and abilities that most people take for granted have fallen to the wayside. It was a slow process, so that I didn't even see it happening, until suddenly my days were empty.
I have more than one impairment that led to this period of unemployment. But the biggest one is the psychological blockage of not having a place of work to go to on a regular schedule. It makes me feel like I'm not a part of society, and it gives me the appearance of helplessness.
I want very much to return to work someday. That may not be traditional work. It may just be keeping busy. But however you define it, I'd like to have the meaning that derives from having a structured, fruitful life.
This relates to my fitness journey very closely--
1. Re-establishing an exercise habit helps me to bring order back to my day, and restore the discipline necessary to perform work of any kind.
2. Being out of shape brings fatigue, mental fogginess, and lack of stamina that are not conducive to long periods of work or concentration.
3. Fitness is part of living a balanced life, and will (hopefully) help ease my physical limitation as well.
4. Coupling these journeys means that I can leverage the wonderful sparkpeople community for commiseration and support!
5. I simply need something in my life to strive for.
As a mentioned in earlier posts this week, I've returned to sparkpeople during week 3 of restarting my exercise program with walking. This is the beginning of week four, and I want to start it off right. Just writing this post is getting me revved up to go to the gym this evening!
I may be down sometimes, but I'm not out. Here's to goalmaking that makes you feel alive.