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Grandmother & Hospice

Monday, May 28, 2018

Today makes 6 weeks that my grandmother was sent home on Hospice. It also marks 11 days since she has ate or drank ANYthing. Let me backtrack just a little bit and fill you all in on what got us here. Last summer she started losing blood and it got low enough that it induced seizures. That meant a trip to the ER who gave her a blood transfusion. Since then, she has been getting blood transfusion about every 3 weeks. The Dr was scared to do a colonoscopy to find the source of blood loss because of her age (91 yrs). He thought that putting her under would kill her. So, the blood transfusions continued. Well, around 6.5 weeks ago she wound up in the hospital needing blood again. The doc said her body wasn’t accepting the blood as well as it needed to because of the frequency at which she was needing them. They really needed to get to the source of the problem. He wound up ordering the test to be done. They found Rectal Cancer the size of a mans fist. He said this was not good because it would close off her rectum and cause toxins to back up and kill her. BUT, at her age chemo and radiation would kill her too. He said he would not give anymore blood transfusions either, so home on hospice she came because the blood loss would kill her or the cancer would one. She has lost all ability to swallow, so they are sponging her mouth a little bit, because she will choke if any water is given. She has been unconscious now since last Thursday, so I guess that equates to 5 days of complete silence from her. She was sleeping most of the time before then, but was having some moments of wakefulness prior to the last 5 days. I am not there since I live in Mississippi and my family is in Texas. I do call daily and check-in to get updates. My dad is not taking things so well. He is having a hard time with the process and broke down crying yesterday. I wish I were there to help. I feel helpless at times. At last update this morning, her breathing has slowed and she is having moments of it stopping altogether. I guess the end is drawing near. I cringe every time the phone rings. I feel like I am a washrag that has been rung out. I can’t quite explain the ups and downs of emotions I have had over the past 6 weeks. I think I have been through the grieving process even though she isn’t gone yet. But then, I get new news and it tears me to pieces all over again. My mom says she is pain-free and seems to be at ease. I just pray her crossing is a smooth one for all involved. For all those there with her having to bear the burden of it. Please SP friends continue to pray for me and my family this is so incredibly difficult. ~Amanda
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LOPEYP
    Just saw this now......... so sorry.
    625 days ago
  • MISSLORI5
    Oh Sweetie, I hurt for you! There is nothing more emotionally draining than watching someone lose their hold on life and we can’t be there! Grandmothers are such special people! I am praying for you and yours, that God will hold you close and give you His strength and peace! emoticon
    669 days ago
  • ~BRY~2009
    Amanda,

    I am so sorry for the troublesome times you and your family are dealing with. Will keep you in prayer. If you ever need or want to talk or vent feel free to send me some spark mail anytime. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May God help you all to find the peace, courage, strength, and comfort you need to get through this time of stress.
    670 days ago
  • ALLEYCATPA
    emoticon
    I'm so sorry you're going through this. May your grandmother and your family find peace.
    670 days ago
  • BERRY4
    I sat by my mom's bedside as she passed. I understand this difficult time. So sorry... {{{ HUGS! }}}
    671 days ago
  • no profile photo CD16313034
    Praying for y'all. I know it is a hard process to go thru. We went thru similar with my grandma when I was young
    671 days ago
  • STRNGNGRNDED
    Losing a loved one is hardest for those of us left behind. Hugs my friend. May God comfort each family member when he decides to take her.
    Hopefully her life can be celebrated during the family's grief. emoticon
    671 days ago
  • CARRIEMETODAY
    So sorry your family is going through this. Will be praying for you all!
    671 days ago
  • KRISTIZEMAS8
    Prayer for you and your family as you go through this process and always keep the good memories alive.
    671 days ago
  • FLOYDPAULEY
    I am sorry for you and your family, at this point all we can do is pray the Lord takes her hand and lead her across the great divide. I will be praying the Lord gives comfort to you, your family and blessings for grandmother.
    671 days ago
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