BLC Round 37 - The Journey Continues

Round 37 of the BLC ends today. My 12 week goal was to lose 12 lbs and I lost more than half - 6.6 lbs. I am quite pleased about this journey and there is still lots to learn. Each round has lessons. Some of the lessons are repeats. I had two setbacks this round resulting in weight gains. The first time, it was due to travel. I picked myself up pretty quickly & kept moving forward. The second time, I felt like I lost my footing. I journaled about it and attributed it to my sister’s hospitalization. Once, she got out of the hospital and was recuperating, it surprised me that I was sinking deeper into the mire. You know, eating things I did not normally eat, not exercising, trolling the grocery aisles for something to get into. So, I had to dig deeper...and deeper...and the answer surprised me...FEAR. I call it False Evidence Appearing Real.

At my highest weight of 236 lbs, I set this lofty goal of losing about 80 lbs. Today, I have lost 50 lbs. That is good and yes I have commended myself. I remember when I was approaching the Magic 200 lbs and about to ease into Onederland, I wobbled and regained several times before I could cross the line. That was fear, too. It had been almost 20 years since I had been under 200 lbs. When I reached it, I didn’t know how to feel. I was happy yet fearful of regaining...and life goes on. My life is changing in so many ways. I am dropping some things in addition to the weight i.e. overcommitting my time and attention and dropping people who are not supportive of me or my journey. At family gatherings, I have had people looking on my plate to see what I am eating or making recommendations to me about what I should be doing. I just smile because their conversation does not match what I see in them. No judgment but I don’t give unsolicited advice. If you ask me “my big secret” I tell you. I stopped eating late at night and I cut out the “white stuff” i.e. rice, bread, potatoes, etc. On a positive note, I have a brother who has changed the way he is eating and we are sharing recipes.

To sum it up, this weight loss journey is no joke. It teaches you a lot about yourself if you are willing to dig deep and then deeper. I am thankful for the Spicy Sparkologists who have been so positive. Sometimes it is one thing or video or motivational quote someone shares that stays with me during the week and helps me keep going. We all fall down but we get back up. Looking forward to Round 38 of the BLC.