Sigh

I made a promise to myself on my last birthday, that I would be as close to 200 as possible by my birthday this year. I turn 30. I did not want to go into my 30s being severely overweight.

Here we are, 2 months from my 30th birthday and weigh more TODAY than on the day I turned 29.

The thoughts are there to do what I need to do... but I have no drive. I gain weight, get depressed, and comfort myself with food. I get into the thought process "I will start tomorrow." Or "theres no point in starting now with xyz coming up. Ill start after that."

I am having symptoms of diabetes and I am scared. I am just waiting on my new insurance card to come in then I am facing my fear of doctors and going in and getting help.