Fall

So will I blog about the season, or the act of falling.... Maybe a little of both. I love fall. I met my husband in the fall. I love the crisp air, beautiful changing leaves, fresh apples. For me its a magical time when the trees come alive with vibrant color. One year yellow, one year red depending upon the amount pigment. A tree's color will change from one year to the next! What's your color? This year I'm green.. My favorite is red. Next year I plan to be red. I plan to stand out like a beautiful confident creature that god designed me to be. This year, I'm just a nice green tree, in the backgrounded of the scene. Not wanting to be noticed.

My son got married last weekend. it was a great, beautiful day. I hate the pictures. I am in very few pictures. I untag them because I'm not the person I want to be. It's crazy! I am the very same person at 140 as I am at 260 but somehow I shrink into my shell, I do not stand proud, I shrink in the background. How do you deal with the emotions that come with being heavy? Of being the person you do not want to be? Maybe I am the only one that feels this way?

I have always struggled with my self image. Weight has always been a struggle.... Or at least I thought it was. I was going through pictures the other day and ran into this one. Why in the world would I think I was fat here? silly girl. I guess when you are hanging out with girls that are size 2, and have a parent that constantly reminds you to pull your shirt down so your belly doesn't show.... but those are just excuses.


So next fall there is another wedding and instead of looking like this, I am going to be a tree that stands out. Maybe an vibrant orange, or a pretty red.. I want to push my way into the front! Thats my goal! Moving forward. Making smarter choices. With Gods help, for my health I am going to break free. And for those who don't understand this blog, perhaps you should move on, because I am certain that there are plenty of people who do. Anyone else what to be in a different place 1 year from now? Lets do this!