Walking Guide
WARRIORSUE
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints 13,713
SparkPoints
 

the rawness of an unmedicated life

Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Friday, November 09, 2018

A very preceptive friend of mine mentioned last night that I've been rather quiet in our conversations lately. Since she is usually so accurate about me, I gave it lots of thought. I mentioned some little things that concern me and of course, some bigger things too. But mulling them over, nothing seems catastrophic. Just life happening.

But then I realized exactly what's going on and I am just so grateful! I realize that I am simply experiencing life without numbing out every day with my food. Living an unmedicated life is raw... and of course, that is why addicts have relapses, I believe, and it's no different if you are a food addict.

I am doing very, very well. Finally, people are taking notice of my weight loss, and though of course I am doing it for myself, I am a true lover of the pat on the back, so it pleases me. I have been buying some new clothes lately and have donated all of my old ones to charity and they will be well used, I bet. I haven't worn a size medium in.... 30 years? It feels great.

I continue on with Weight Watchers. I am just doing it online so I don't attend meetings, but it is working for me. It's an easy, doable plan that allows lots of free will, within the clear boundaries of daily and weekly points. I am proud to be staying accountable.

I'm now weighing every other day. Is it still too much? Probably. But it feels more sensible for me. I also started doing some free weights for my arms and need to continue to incorporate that into my life. I still run three times per week and ride my bike on days where I don't want to exercise at all.

I live a totally different life now in some respects and I can't imagine my health not ultimately thanking me for it. I can do this "forever", I know I can. I have left my 13 year old far in the past now, and the weight of regret and anger and victimization has been a release of a million pounds of angst. My soul feels like a feather, comparatively.

So? I'm just going to ramble forward. I am convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt that I am worth ALL of the hard work it takes to become of optimal weight. It is worth journaling my food, planning for indulgences, exercising even when I don't want to, drinking water rather than soda. Anticipating holidays without thinking, "what goodies will I eat?" and instead thinking, "what conversations will I have?" I will focus on people, and not pie.

Making oneself proud is not something that is well discussed but I find that it goes hand in hand with what I've always considered such an elusive term, "loving yourself".

I'm worth the work. And so are you.



Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post