Unwilling resident of a flat earth
Sunday, December 16, 2018
I quit eating desserts and white flour products. White pasta and bread are not a problem for me to avoid. I really prefer whole grains. But dessert is a real problem and once I get started I can’t and won’t stop. The effects are awful. Weight gain. Inflammation. Fatty liver disease. For what? A momentary hit of pleasure. Followed by some miserable life limiting consequences.
I am mostly past the physical withdrawal effects. And a tiny bit of very dark chocolate chases any stray cravings for me and has never been a problem like cake, cookies, and ice cream are problems. I have reached the stage where I no longer want dessert and I see it for what it is.
But. I am experiencing an unexpected effect. And while it is not easy it is familiar. My world is suddenly flat. Gray. Dull. I just can’t get enthusiastic about food. Thirty years ago, I stopped drinking alcohol and I remember this happened to me then. Once the cravings subsided, I remember that the world got flat. Nothing satisfied me. A meal without fine wine just did not satisfy.
I am healthy. I live in a region with access to fresh fish and meat and produce. I usually love to cook and plan nourishing, tasty, healthy meals but I can’t think of anything I want to eat and trying to fill in the Spark meal tracker as a planning tool is frustrating. I have a full life with meaningful activities and engaging people. There is no reason for this other than a familiar pleasure that filled my time and energy is not available to me and I have not figured out how to replace it.
This will pass. It is as I have heard said a real luxury problem. But it is my problem and it is not fun.