Day 1 - A Crushing Blow

For months, I have talked about needing to "lose weight." Don't know about anyone else, but I HATE that phrase. I don't want to "lose" weight. I want to OBLITERATE it. I have so many valid and concerning reasons for needing to be more healthy than I am, pre-diabetic, 1st child c-section due to tail end preeclampsia, swelling, edema, gestational diabetes...but I sit here and confess...I lacked the motivation. Last night, I received that motivation...as defeating as it was. I'd rather not divulge the circumstances or the conversation, as it was painful enough to live through once, I'd rather not re-live it again. 28 years old, mother of a very spirited and perfect little 1 and a half year old mini me, and thought the tears, ready to start this grueling journey. I know I will shed many more before I complete this first full week of my Spark Journey, but I am open to all advice, tips, and or encouragement as my self-esteem has been all but crushed by the painful birth of my motivation.