Ugh - fall goals went by the wayside. This is my winter rant!
Thursday, December 27, 2018
Well, I've been on a food bender for far too long now and have been avoiding the scale most days because I know I have been out of control with all the cookies I've been given, snacks in the house, and eating out. Seriously 2-3,000 calories most days that I've been trying to track. NOT good. I sucked it up and stepped on the scale this morning and I am up a lot. A LOT. I haven't seen this number in nearly a year. So I'm fasting today - a real, 500 calorie or less modified fast. And I'm planning another one for Saturday or Sunday. And I'm hitting the exercise machines again tomorrow. I know a few pounds of this is probably water weight, but at least 5 pounds is not. Not the way I've been eating. So.
I ranted at my husband this morning that IT'S NOT FAIR that I'm not someone who can just be NORMAL and not eat too much. But the more I eat, the more I CAN eat. I hate that. But when I do 5:2 modified fasting 2 days a week and control my calories on the other days that somehow helps my body recognize when I've had enough to eat. Maybe it's a hormone thing. I don't know. But I don't get those cues once I start eating a lot day after day. Then I can just keep going without really feeling full. I can just keep going. But if I keep my calories down for a week or two, I can get that full feeling with a reasonable amount of food. It just makes me crazy.
It's frustrating because I thought I had this down. And then I slacked off and slacked off and found out how easy it is for me to go back to how I was 2 years ago. It's like I need to keep learning the same lesson over and over again. SO frustrating.
I'm not beating myself up about it, I'm just taking myself in hand and going back to doing the right thing immediately. I have a healthy lunch of salmon and baby spinach and dinner will be something equally healthy and light. I'll exercise again tomorrow morning and life will go on. I'll go back to weighing my food. I already put the cookies in the freezer to get them out of sight and if that's not enough to stop me from eating them then I will just throw them out.
Anyone with me for a pre-New Year's start?