Friday, January 11, 2019
My Id and My Superego got into a terrible wrestling match this morning after my shocking weigh-in. I gained three pounds. My Id did not take it well. It cried and screamed and howled (inwardly, because it was six a.m.) It berated and despaired. It was an ugly place in my head. The Id is an extremist who will run a freight train of thoughts and impulses through my head in quick succession. "I'll fast....for a long time." "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT." "You've now put in all that work for the last two weeks -- FOR NOTHING." "Nothing will work -- EVER." "I'll just never eat a carb again. I will live on chicken only." "Maybe I should cultivate a meth habit."
I felt terribly stressed. But then the superego showed up and began fixing things, as superegos are wont to do. First of all, I know what my caloric intake was. I know I stayed within my calorie limits for three days and at a maintenance range for two days and went over my limits once. I know this because I TRACKED MY FOOD FOR 14 DAYS STRAIGHT as evinced by the sparkpeople award that popped up today. THAT is a win. I know I went heavy on the refined carbs yesterday. That doesn't mean all carbs are bad. I know I've been loose with tracking nutrient containing fluids -- a glass of milk here, extra cups of coffee with cream splashed in without measuring first. I read an excellent article on Spark about tier levels of fluids we should be intaking just yesterday. I've got the tools and the knowlege to tighten up my tracking. I've been drinking about TWICE the amount of water and unsweetened tea as I was before I started. That is a win. I haven't been reducing sodium in my diet and the foods I had yesterday were pretty high in sodium. AND there's a huge offshore storm front coming in and history has taught me that until those clouds start releasing the water they are retaining, I don't either. Weird but true. Strange our relationship with nature. So the message my superego offers is that the outcome I was expecting today based on my tracking was to have either maintained my weight or lost one pound but that I am probably retaining some water which is driving up the numbers. The inflamation in my joints suppports that supposition. Odds are good the scale will adjust next week and I'll find myself right back in line with my goal so this is not the time to become disheartened. What really helped the superego win this match was my vision board. Despite the logic my superego put forth, the id still kept whispering, "What should I do? What should I do?" Then I saw it, the vision board I had made and posted in an area I would be sure to see it once in a while. "I choose to be Happy." "Full of Hope." "Love" "Riding Bikes" "Focus on the Good" My board is full of phrases and tokens that make me remember both the why and the how of things. SO I am calm now and focused and more prepared entering this next week. I'm feeling delightfully integrated and ready to keep up the good journey.