Saturday, January 19, 2019
My main goal in life is to have a deeper relationship with God. Another is being healthy. I'm trying to let all the things you and SP say sink in (memory not so good anymore) in hopes they will motivate me.
Last year, with God's help, I lost 30lbs. I give God the credit cause I'm too weak to do the work on my own. Even then I barely exercised knowing full well it was good for me and I needed it. Still, I was losing and feeling good. I needed to lose another 20lbs before reaching my goal. Instead of moving forward I stopped and digressed just as I have so many times before. I have gained 15lbs and am continuing to gain.
Why? Why did I stop? I was happy and feeling good. Proud, but not too proud as I know God was the reason for my being able to lose and when people commented I would tell them just that. I also gave credit to you amazing SP and again God for leading me to you. You don't know how much you all mean to me. This is an awesome site so full of help and inspiration, but the people here make it that way and I thank each one of you.
So, why have I sabotaged myself and why can't I get back on track? I don't want to gain anymore and I know God's patiently waiting for me to get started again so why don't I? Why am I so resistant? Why am I so lazy? Why am I so stubborn? What's the hold up?
I've been this way my entire life. I once made Lifetime goal with WW and for a brief moment it was so awesome. I gained it all back and as we know gaining is done more rapidly than losing and so much easier, at least for me.
I'm not giving up on myself and I know God will never give up on me. With His help I'll eventually move forward, but it would be so much better if I would start right now and quit putting it off and making my goal further away.
Why do I do this to myself each and every time? If any of you have any answers or suggestions I am so open to them and thank you.
I'm not even sure if I should post this blog. I feel ashamed for disappointing God, others and myself. I don't mean to be so down and certainly don't want to bring anyone down with me.
Thank you for the posts and blogs you write. You never know when one will be just what someone else needed at the time.
I am truly grateful for all God's many many blessings and I am happy it's just I know I can be happier - smaller.
Thank you for your help and support. God bless you all!