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Saturday, February 09, 2019

Those of you who are so kind as to check in with my blogs occasionally are probably aware that as of late, I've come to realize that the job I have is not the job where I should be, and it seems to become more toxically intolerable every day. I'm doing okay there, getting pretty good production numbers and quality feedback and meeting the KPIs and SLAs and all that other jargon they like to use in office meetings, but the phrase "I quit!" has been dancing around in my head for a while now. I admit it: I almost fantasize about the day I can actually say it, and I'm praying that day will come soon. None of my interviews have proven fruitful yet, but I have to trust that the good Lord is well aware that I took a major misstep in accepting this job and that He will - as He's done so very many times before - help me clean up the mess. If you'd like to contribute to my goal to get out of there, feel free to mail a $1 donation to my job transition fund, as I'm assuming there will be a gap between one job and another. emoticon

My feedback at work is not the only feedback that's on my mind lately though. I'm also rather interested in what sort of data my faithful bathroom scale has to share in its weekly reports. This week, it was good to me, and I found that kind of surprising, because I've had a few collisions with pretzels in the wee hours of insomnia, and I really don't deserve the 5.7 lbs. I lost. Yet another thing to thank the good Lord for, I suppose.

In the cauldron of my head, the strange brew of "quit" and "calories" got me to thinking. We're all taught from the time we're small that being a quitter is a bad thing. You know that poster that hangs on the gymnasium wall:

Now, with all due respect for Vince Lombardi (though I tend to take more of my athletic-based life philosophies from Mike Ditka), let's ponder that for a moment though, shall we? Doesn't it have much to do with WHAT you're quitting?

Surely we shouldn't quit on our weight-loss efforts, and it's understandable why Mr. Kirby, my eighth-grade gym teacher - a nice guy who reminded me of a smaller Magnum P.I. at the time, sans the Hawaiian shirt and always in those embarrassingly short 80s gym shorts and tall color-ringed tube socks - egged us on to not quit when we couldn't possibly accomplish a worthy flexed-arm hang/shuttle run/sit and reach back in the eighties during what Vox calls the "bizarre and sadistic" Presidential Physical Fitness Test. This Google image of the patch will be the closest I ever got to one, and I'm assuming if they had participation trophies back then, I wouldn't even have earned one of those!
(If you're young enough to refer to octothorpes/pound signs as "hashtags," you might not remember these horrible annual events, so check it out at:
ness-test )

Now, it's common sense that there are some things we should not quit, like being nice or paying our taxes or eating vegetables. However, aren't there SOME things we just as obviously SHOULD quit?

I'm a fan of anagrams, so I spent part of my time this week daydreaming about all the words we can start with the letters Q-U-I-T. Hey, it was something to do while mind-numbingly entering payee codes, right? Here are a few I came up with:

Q: quagmire, queasy, questionable, quandary, quarrelsome, qualms
U: underappreciated, underachieving, upset, undermined, unsuitable, unhappy
I: illness, intimidated, impossible, irritating, insomnia, injured, impaired
T: toxic, terrible, triggering, tainted, troubled, tormented, tortured, threatened

The truth is, my friends, that Presidential Physical Fitness test stirred up many of these feelings for me, because gym was not my forte. I would have spent an entire day diagramming sentences if they would have let me skip the humiliation of the Possum Middle School P.E., where I suffered beneath that banner of an Eagle on steroids. (Yes, my middle school mascot was a Possum Eagle. I cannot explain it, but it does sound like something Napoleon Dynamite would be a fan of.) The thing is, gym class was basically good for me, so there was reason not to quit. I was reversed in my thinking, just as I have been reversed in my thinking this week, when I sought comfort in a very large bag of pretzels. Those crunchy sticks of flour and salt were not something I wanted to quit, but they realistically have negative results in my physiology, results that fall into several of the word groups above. Quitting can be hard though. I'm no fan of BROKEBACK, but I can kind of resonate with Heath's frustration and often find myself wanting to yell at those pretzels, "I wish I knew how to quit you!"

I am very terrified to quit my job, but when we know things are bad for us, when we know they put us in a Quandary or cause us to be Upset or lead to Illness or are simply Toxic, we have to make the decision to quit, whether its smoking or pretzels or too much coffee or neglectful lethargy. It can be very terrifying to quit something we're accustomed to, something we believe benefits us in some way - whether its a paycheck or nibbling our blues away - but if it is jeopardizing our health and wellbeing, we have to make the decision to quit. In the battle for a healthier you, you might have to become a quitter to be a winner! Another thing on that gym wall when I was growing up was a poster that said, "How you win shows some of your character. How you lose shows all of it." When it comes to unhealthy eating and lifestyle habits, lose by being a quitter, and you will be happier and healthier for it!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Totally appreciate where you are coming from. I worked in customer service for 30 years and hated how corporate sucked the life out of all of us constantly. Expected us to be super heroes in all the numbers and expectations and then ended up giving us a pen or something for a good month! Hated the corporate suck-up world...didn't participate...had my corner cubical and kept quiet. It wasn't any fun being yelled at every day from customers who have no respect that you're a person and have problems of your own and you are just trying to do a job and help best you can. Needless to say, when I retired, (I'm SO thankful)...I ran to the nearest exit! Looking for a new job is brutal these days. I don't get how the news says there are so many new jobs out there! Where?!! And how do you find one that pays good! I wanted to say "I QUIT" every day and walk out in tears. But, Mom, gave me some good advice, don't quit your job until you have one to replace it. Even though I was miserable...it paid the bills and put food on the table. So I'm glad I listened. That was good advice for me but your life and circumstances are individual to you so make the best decision you can for y-o-u! My heart goes out to you. All I can say is if you decide to stay, play their game and don't show your cards, you want to leave on your terms not theirs! Hope your answer is just around the corner!!! emoticon emoticon
    752 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/22/2019 1:37:05 PM
  • no profile photo DIANADCR
    I’m sorry it’s not working out. Continue working on yourself and the rest will take care of itself.
    753 days ago
    Good luck finding a new job that you will be much happier with. I can relate to where you are. My dd was suffering in a job which was requiring her to lie. Bosses would never have admitted it, but that's what they were doing. She just couldn't in good conscience stay there. So she quit. That was last October, and, although she still thinks she did the right thing, she is struggling with not having a job. Lots of interviews, but no offers so far.
    782 days ago
    Octothorpes= pound signs...thank you! I did not know. Love learning new words! Hope you find a better job soon. Nothing wears a person down faster than being in a toxic work environment. Good luck!
    786 days ago
    I truly hope you find the job that will make you happy to go to each AND EVERY DAY!
    789 days ago
    I hope a great job pops up soon. You deserve it!
    789 days ago
    I'll be praying you find a better job soon!!! emoticon
    790 days ago
    I hope you find something better soon for your job. I am retired now but I have had periods of time where I hated to go into work and wondered about the ethics of those in the company. I did manage to move on from those positions, but memories about the time spent there make me feel for you. If you really want to know about someone you work in the financial area of their lives. I pray for you.
    790 days ago
    I totally get wanting to leave the junky job! i have been on mine for a lot of years and now they have been counting every mistake every misdeed every misspoken word... wow... who knew all that would count and be called a disciplinary action? get 2 u have to step down from your position! i really need to get another job... last night i did end up with a coconut cream pie... usually my stress wants sweet/fat or salty/crunchy stuff...
    hope it doesn't derail me all week... emoticon

    792 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    Tough call especially in this economy. Good luck with it all.
    792 days ago

    Weighing ones options very carefully (calmly as you would advise a friend to do) before leaping into the future....
    can be a very good thing.

    792 days ago
  • BJAEGER307
    What tough decisions you have to make. I know I was in a job for 15 years that started out okay, but as time got on it because a stressful heckhole place. I finally quit and was able to retire at the same time. It took me a year or more to release all that negativity that had built up. It made me sick in so many ways. My old boss was stunned when I turned in my resignation letter. I just couldn't take it anymore. Through the help of God, my hubby and friends, I feel like a crushing weight has been lifted from me.

    Do what is right for you and your situation. That's all you can do. I hope you find something else that will let you have the choice to either stay or leave.
    792 days ago
  • LIS193
    There is a difference between quitting and moving on..
    Good luck with the job hunting
    793 days ago
  • 2DAWN4
    You are not quitter! You are just in charge of your mental health and you k ow that God has a bigger plan for you! Just hang in there and when the door opens, don't walk but jump through it!

    BTW, I have had my fair run in with pretzels lately as well!
    793 days ago
    793 days ago
    793 days ago
  • WALNUTT1961
    I hope another door opens for you soon. Congrats on the weight loss!

    793 days ago
    I took marching band to avoid gym in high school...oh, the horror!!

    May you find work that satisfies you and allows you to be authentically you ( and pays well emoticon )!!
    793 days ago
    Way to go on the loss!

    It's really tough being in a job that you hate, I have been there and it's awful to have to force yourself to go to a job that makes you miserable. Hang in there as long as you can, but do what you have to do. Trust in yourself.
    Crossing my fingers a job opportunity will come along soon.

    793 days ago
  • FLRED12
    Congratulations on your weight loss! Good luck on your job search!
    793 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3409143
    I've felt like that for 12 + years now.
    793 days ago
  • LINDAK25
    Congratulations on the weight loss. I’m sorry you’re miserable at work. You have some tough decisions to make. I don’t envy you that. I’ll say a prayer for you.
    793 days ago
    ((((HUGS)))) Congrats on the weight released. And prayers that you find the right job.
    793 days ago
    I hope you can find a better job while you are working at this one. You sound so miserable. emoticon
    793 days ago
    What a good blog! You're so right--there are times when quitting is definitely the right thing to do. Being told from an early age that quitting is wrong unnecessarily complicates a lot of important decisions. I applaud you for figuring it all out, and I wish you well in finding a new job that doesn't damage your spirit and instead brings you joy.

    And so glad you achieved the weight loss despite the pretzels!
    793 days ago
    Great news on your weight loss - I have no doubt that you'll soon find what you're looking for, workwise...…. emoticon
    793 days ago
    I was stuck in mind-numbing but necessary job a few years back where I was actually fighting back tears of frustration, demoralization and misery almost every day. Yet I decided to thank God each day for that job because it was my manna; it sustained me financially in a time of prolonged transition, and proved God's provision and presence. I prayed Psalm 90:14,17 a million times: "O satisfy us in the morning with Your lovingkindness,That we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. ... Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us; And confirm for us the work of our hands; Yes, confirm the work of our hands."
    I pray that God will soon open the door to a new, satisfying job for you, and that in the meantime, you will see His hand and his presence in your work and job search. Bless you!!

    793 days ago
    Congratulations on losing 5+ lbs, and I think you're doing very well. You don't have to get a divorce from pretzels, just ration them.
    793 days ago
    I do hope you find new employment soon and can QUIT that nasty job! Also, thanks for the new vocab (Octothorpes .... hmmm, spellcheck doesn't like that one.)
    793 days ago
    Nice post! Congratulations on your weight loss!
    793 days ago
    Good luck with your job search
    793 days ago
    Possum Eagle? I googled it and didn't come up with anything. I've been stuck in jobs like that before and what I came up with was that even though it was misery for me God was using me in the situation. I was a Christian working in a very unChristianlike atmosphere. People who had never been to church would come to me with their concerns and ask for prayers. I would always tell them that they could pray too. Just because I went to church didn't mean I had a direct pipeline to God. The relationships I had are what I miss. It's sometimes hard to see the bigger picture when you're in the middle of it.
    793 days ago
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