Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Well things are a bit more settled today, not feeling so much like I want to run away screaming all over the place & throwing things about (not that I do that cos Id be the stupid one left to clear it up anyway). Have gotten in touch with some old school mates & a couple of times have found myself paranoid about many things when talking to them!! Not to worry will get over that one!
My aunt & uncle announced the other day that they were going to get married - after like 25yrs being together lol, fabby thats me totally jinxed now, 3 times the bridesmaid never the bride as they say!! Oh well dont really suit white lol. It will be 24th August so hoping to have lost a bit more by then to look nice in the piccys!
Seem to have a few days of not being less than 1700 calories never mind the 1550 SP has as my top intake! Will need to do some work on that again as well as upping the fruit & veg, that has been pretty poor, with the way i have been feeling lately, both mentally & physically i just havent bothered my backside making & preparing the healthy stuff i was eating before! as i said before CRAVE ORGANISATION & ROUTINE in my life, my other half keeps telling me "familiarity breeds contempt" well with me in my life at the moment the chaos is breeding contempt then you have the old favourite of "negativity breeds negativity" well you can see the circles im running around in at the moment, what the hell is a girl to do to keep her sanity!!! He says i get to do what i want why cant he, well i could get to do what i wanted living on my own, its supposed to be a bloody partnership not a house sharing exercise!!! MY MY that turned out to be a rant, i like typing it just comes straight from my head lol.
Well tomorrow is another day as they say & by God am i living it one day at a time just now! may as well not planned anything for the future, no point just now as i dont know what is happening just now, let alone all that time in front, suppose i better start planning something though, 27 this year, not getting any younger as they say & its a long time to live with regret! I wish someone would let me in on my lifes plan & let me know where this all fits in to my divine purpose in life, is my purpose just to learn to "deal with it" as HE says!! I dont want to "DEAL" with it, I want to LIVE it & LOVE it!!!....oh dear think my head has gone into overdrive now & im starting to have a conversation with myself!!
Love to you all xxx HUGS xxx