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Who are you responsible for?

Saturday, April 13, 2019

After learning in January of 2019 that my 34 year old daughter is an alcoholic, I have done tons of reading and learning more about myself. I discovered that although I felt it was my "duty" to help her with her bills when she needed it, it is NOT my duty or obligation to pay her bills. I was doing this long before I knew about the alcohol and I have not done so since then. I always felt that if she lost her car due to non- payment, her Dad and I would HAVE to help her get another one. I have learned that if I don't let her figure out her own solutions, she will never learn to stand on her own two feet. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE MY DAUGHTER.
I have also learned that there are a lot of people with adult children who have been behaving the same way I have been. I write this blog to see if anyone is interested in forming a support group to help us "grow up" and let our adult children "grow up".
I am reading a book called "I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better" by Gary & Joy Lundberg. I have already learned so much and have begun to apply what I have learned.

What does all of this have to do with weight loss and getting healthy, you may ask. Think of how much better we all will feel if we don't have the stress of thinking we have to "fix" everybody else. We can only fix ourselves.

Love to all my Spark Friends and I wish you a GREAT weekend.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It is called co-dependency and yes I have dealt with it.. I still find myself being pulled back in at times..but I am able not to go there...
    600 days ago
    The Balloons are so nice--- specially on Victoria day--Thank yu
    693 days ago
    Very very astute. I have a few things that may help. I’ll contact you.
    708 days ago
  • JIMA681
    I wish more people with adult children could read your blog. My wife and I do not have children but we see everyday people that refuse to let the children grow up and be adults on their own.
    727 days ago
    You are growing in leaps and bounds. Thanks for the reminder to all of us that all we can control is ourselves!
    729 days ago
    That's exactly what I have been telling my husband. I do help my son once a month. He has a wife and 5 kids. And he has a job. My husband's daughter only has herself to take care of. She lived with us and didn't want to work. I was so glad when she moved. My husband paid her rent for a year after she moved. Grown children can be a real pain. emoticon
    730 days ago
    As difficult as your daughter’s situation is, you are showing good judgement. Keep on going and be proud of your good and proper care of the daughter you love, and the important care of yourself. Your daughter is blessed to have you. 👍🌼
    730 days ago
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