"I recognize that rock"
Saturday, May 04, 2019
Long ago, far far away...the family would set out on a car trip. Perhaps we were going out to pick wild blueberries. Or maybe we were trying to find a remote cabin or something.
The purpose of the outing doesn't matter, just that we were all loaded into the car and we were driving and driving and driving in what seemed to a child's mind anyway as the most remote of wilderness without getting anywhere that looked familiar.
Eventually the backseat inhabitants would start to murmur nervously. "Were we lost?" "Dad, do you know where we are?"
Dad's answer would always be. "We're not lost. I recognize that rock"
That was my dad. I am a senior citizen now and he's been gone for years but his voice echos in my mind quite often.
Today I was chatting with a spark team member and sharing how I have been in a bit of a funk lately. The eternal longing for a real spring to enjoy. The gray days having the unwanted effect of sending me to the snack cupboard and my ability to make better choices left in the dark. My scale has told me this can't go on. I am in one of my "upticks" in wt. I have juggled the same few pounds up and down for years now. Never varying greatly from my maintenance weight and never actually heading down to a dreamed of "ideal" weight.
Knowing the causes....and the effects, doesn't make a lot of difference, the struggle continues.
Now before you think I have sunk into the depth of my depressed funk and am at risk for tossing in the towel, never fear. My dad's voice is echoing in my mind.
"I'm not lost. I recognize that rock." The reason I juggle those maintenance leeway pounds is that I have traveled this road...I DO recognize that rock...the little habits I have given in to lately. I can avoid them can't I? I can steer toward that tree that I also recognize, the one that is decorated with the healthy living secrets.