Uh oh... Weight gain!
Friday, August 02, 2019
Well, this is a first. I have been losing weight consistently for 3.5 years, after hitting my high due to medical problems. I found medical interventions that finally worked better for me, and it was slowly coming off. Now, suddenly I have gained 13lbs. Um, no, that's not happening.
I haven't been on here really, and in part I have lost accountability. I don't leave the house much, so there aren't a lot of people who would notice one way or the other. The last time I left, some people said I had gotten too thin. Because I have a history of eating disorders, that freaked me out. I was about 10lbs away from goal at the time, now I'm 20. But, now that I have had some time to think about it calmly, I think this was just a reaction from people who are overweight themselves, and feeling uncomfortable. I can lose that weight and still be within normal for my height. I have a lot more fat than I ever did before at this same weight, and I know that I can reasonably lose it and both feel better and look better. Building muscle is very hard for me with this disease, so I need to lose all the extra fat first, and then if I can put on more muscle, that will have to be a later goal.
So I am super disappointed to have put all this weight back on. But, I know that if I stop it now, I hopefully can prevent gaining any more. I think some of the medications I'm on stopped working, and that is concerning and I don't really know what to do about it, since I've had to be my own research doctor. But, I will monitor carefully, and see if I can get myself back in balance. I am feeling very tired, and very stressed, and that certainly doesn't help. I have a ton of work to do in the next few months, so can't really take a break.i might be losing my house. But if that happens, I don't want to both lose my house, and gain all the weight back. That will only add a lot more stress and medical problems, not to mention the cost of new clothes AGAIN, because I finally started to part with the clothes I had from larger sizes. Losing weight is crazy expensive - I never realized that before, but even though I was buying cheap clothes at each new size just so I had something appropriate to wear out, it still adds up a lot. I was needing to change size pretty much every 2-3 months, over and over and over again. At the moment, I refuse to buy more, so everything is just uncomfortably tight on me to the point of being embarrassing.
So I don't know exactly how long it will take me to lose 20 lbs. Usually, like a year. But, in this case, most of it is fairly new weight, and lbs that have been added recently are usually much easier to come off. So I'm hoping to lose weight quickly at first, and then if I level off I can go back to losing .5-1lb per week. I just want the first 10lbs of this GONE like yesterday!!!
I can't really devote much time to it, but I'm hoping that if I start writing in here regularly, I will feel some level of accountability, and start losing.
I already lost 1lb since the highest of the gain. So I hope it keeps going! 19 more left...