I didn't give up today
Thursday, September 19, 2019
Last night someone repeated to me something unkind that someone said about me. I was really feeling positive about the friendship with that someone and it hurt my feelings to hear the unkind remark and it made me angry too. I cried a bit and went to bed with the feelings unresolved. This morning I woke up fatigued and without motivation. I skipped my meds, fell asleep while cooking my elderly mother a meal (She gamely ate the overcooked salmon without complaint and urged me to "take the day off." She's 92 so she knows a thing or two.)
I usually check into sparkpeople first thing in the morning and I've been high on motivation from it and hitting all the marks. Not today. I didn't exercise. I didn't shower. Dishes are still in the sink. I ate in a sporadic and random manner and didn't bother to track it. Ugh. Meh. What a pity party. After mooning about most of the day and laying in bed feeling dispirited, something sparked.
"It's never too late to start making the right choice. Your very next choice is in your control."
It's okay not to be perfect. I'm learning that. So I was tired and feeling down. The day is not over. Did I really want to break my sparkpeople streak? No, I don't. So here I am. And what did I learn? Once I tracked my foods, I realized that while some of my choices were not exactly balanced and the best choices, I was well within my calorie range so all is not lost. I learned one fudge-covered mint Oreo cookie packs 120 calories. There are a lot of nice healthy foods that contribute rather than detract from my energy levels that I can eat in that calorie range so I'm going to remember that next time I feel tempted to grab one of those. I learned that it wasn't too late to take my meds (I'm diabetic) so I did. Why wait until tomorrow to start over? And most of all, I learned that my feelings and mindset play a huge role in the success of reaching for my goals. Next time someone hurts my feelings, I'm going to remember this day and not let someone else's negativity become my own. It's their issue not mine and more of a reflection of their mindset rather than a shortcoming of my own. I feel better. And yes, I am taking the rest of the day "off" (trust me, the housework will still be there in the morning) but I'm going to use this time to allow myself to rest without guilt or recrimination and plan out my day for tomorrow. I'm proud of myself. In the past I may have given up for days, weeks, even months before coming back around to making an effort again. Not today. I did not give up.