MUCH less Spark – Dr’s orders
Wednesday, October 16, 2019
Ok, here is the blog I promised a couple of weeks ago when all this drama with my mother-in-law started. But first, the latest news.
My eye doctor says the severe eye pain I am having is a complication of my arthritis! Arthritis!? Who knew that could affect your eyes! He says to limit anything that causes pain. We discussed computer use and reading. Both hurt really bad, he said to limit both to only what is necessary. This means a severe drop in my Sparking ability. I will probably still drop by each day and get the quick easy points to try to keep up my points and motivation. I am going to have to drop out of the 5% challenge. I will have to quit visiting the teams I belong to, with one exception. I will check on the team I am co-leader on, the Class of 2006. I will not be removing myself from any team (with the exception of the 5% challenge) as I may be able to return in the future as my Dr has put me on some medicine, that he says might make a difference in a couple of months. We will see if I can return full force at that point. I will miss interacting with everyone and reading blogs etc., but it just causes me real physical pain right now.
Ok, now for mother-in-law. On or about September 24th, she spilled hot bean soup on her foot. Said she didn’t even realize it till she looked down and noticed the soup on her sock. She pulled the sock off and it brought skin with it (we did not learn this till the 30th). She told her neighbor and they brought her some antibiotic ointment. She did not tell us this happened until the 26th. We asked if we need to get her to the hospital and she said no, it wasn’t bad enough for that! Hubby went over to look at it on the 27th and it looked bad. He tried to get her to go to the hospital and she refused. We tried multiple times over the next 2 days, still she refused. We went over again on the 30th and told her she didn’t have a choice, she was going to the hospital if she ever expected us to do anything for her ever again. She said ok after that, but still said she didn’t see the point – that it didn’t hurt and didn’t look that bad to her.
Ok, get to the hospital around 9 am the best I remember, (the ambulance crew had to turn their heads when they saw her foot, I thought the woman was going to vomit) Doctor takes a look, says second degree burn, says she should have come in the moment it happened and that she would be lucky if she didn’t lose her foot over this. He checked her foot and was surprised to find that it still had a pulse. This was good news! After many many many hours, they get permission to admit her (the ER doc whispered to me that he was afraid she would not take care of it if he let her out of the hospital.) It was nearly 9 pm when we left the hospital that day. I still have not recovered from that day.
Next day surgeon comes by and say the foot must be debrided, she refuses. Says it does not need that and that she will not allow them to put her to sleep for any reason. Refuses to answer other health questions and says that nothing else is any of their business that she is there for her foot only and since it does not hurt she wants to leave. Anything they ask her, she says they are just being nosy and trying to get into her business. Refuses to wear oxygen, says she does not need it. Refuses insulin shots (her sugar was through the roof and was even worse because you have to go off of metformin when you are in the hospital. Even refuses to bathe, says she is not dirty.
Ok, doctors and the nurses realize something is not quite right, order an evaluation. That doctor comes in and realizes she is simply no longer competent. Orders that she must have 24 hour care the rest of her life due to dementia. Tells us to get court order and paperwork necessary to take over guardianship and be her conservator. That was a nightmare, but we got it done. After the judge signed the temporary emergency orders (the final hearing is in November but we have been told this is simply a formality) we settled into how to tell her!
Now, we have to go tell her, this was not fun. She exploded with anger said we never liked her and just wanted her stuff and should be ashamed of ourselves for putting her in a nursing home. Said she was fine but even if she did need help we should let her live with us and take care of her. So, we had to explain (she didn’t believe) that we did NOT cause her to be put in a home, that she did, by being hateful and not complying with the doctors. Told her that she doesn’t HAVE anything for us to take! (we owned all the furniture in her apt except a 7 year old couch and cheap chair.) That we would not get her money that the nursing home gets all but $50 and that goes into a fund for her to use at the nursing home. Then explained to her that we are not well, and are not physically capable of taking care of her. ( I seriously doubt we would even if we could because she has always been hateful and mean to me and her son. Even when she was well)
Ok, so now she hates us even more. Lovely. It has taken, I think, two weeks to get her apartment empty. Thank GOD for our friends Beth and Jerry. If not for them we still would not be finished. Hubby’s sister was no help and expected us to wait for her to go through everything before we sorted it. Still wants to look at what we want to give to the church for their yard sale. We told her she has till Monday and then everything was leaving, we do not have the room to store this mess.
Will take a week to go through the couple of totes of stuff I set aside for us, mostly practical things, like pens, paper, envelopes, unopened shampoos, etc. and the unopened food from the apartment. (will take that long because I am physically exhausted and in a great deal of pain from the stupid Prilosec the doctor HAD me on to try to heal my stomach! ( I can’t win for losing)
Boy this is a long blog, if you got this far, congratulations! She is not happy at the nursing home, won’t comply with anything and probably never will. I’m so over this and so is my hubby.
And yes, for the record, my eyes are killing me from writing this, I am going to rest them now. Will be around some, but not as much as before. Maybe I can come back full force in a few months.
Hugs and God’s blessings to all. (and if you don’t believe in God, that’s ok, you don’t have to for ME to ask Him to bless you. All that is need for that is for me to believe. You can just consider it my best wishes to you!)
Wildkat781 aka - Kathy