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Friday, November 08, 2019

When I count that number I want to start a dance routine....6,7,8 and plie, plie, plie. That is the sum total I remember about ballet. I do love going to the Joffrey every once in a while, but don't really know the moves anymore. Did you ever do a few plie? Good exercise when done right. 678, is actually the number of days I have logged on to Spark. In that time I have lost 20 lb, gained 3 back and re-lost those. UGH! Frustration reigns hard sometimes. I keep plugging along like the little engine that could....I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....Opps, I DID! Yes someday I will shout it from the virtual mountain top I DID IT!!!! Heck maybe I will literally go up a mountain and yell it.

This wonderful Helen Keller thought was in my today's Spark Premium. In 1984 I had 2 small boys and was going to nursing school, working part time, while being a pastor's wife. I was mostly exhausted, every friday I would drop on the couch and stare blankly at the t.v. with a glass of wine. I would get up at 3 a.m. some days to study for an exam or stay up till that hour reading and studying. I would shlep the kids to daycare in the early hours. I felt sorry for myself. Now fast forward to clinicals, and the psych rotation. I met a girl, slightly younger than I but so relatable. I sat next to her doing crafts and she shared her story. Mom of 2, working, nursing school, and pastors wife. I was shocked cause it was me(!), although, she ended up severely depressed, feeling like she wasn't making progress in life, suicidal and institutionalized. I looked at her and said, "look at all you do and how much you accomplish." We talked a bit longer, sharing some ways to let herself feel good about herself. That day she opened up and the staff was very complimentary of my progress with her. Funny but I was just sharing our commonalities and encouraging her, but they saw it as me being therapeutic. Pretty sure that day might have been when I realized psych nursing was really NOT MY THING! What I saw through those tough years, you don't have to look very far to find someone who, has more struggles, or has less than you and to be thankful for every little thing you are bless with.

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