Hello my dear sparklers:
It's been a minute since I last blogged. I always intend to sit down and sort our my feelings in a blog (which helps me immensely) and then the day is gone and I intend to blog the next day and poof it disappears also.
I've gone to another dine out with the grief group that was very nice but we are such a large group they had to put us outside and it was hotter than heck! So hot, in fact, that I couldn't finish my dinner. It's rare to lose my appetite but apparently sticky hot weather is the key. I had to box up most of the meal to bring home.
As most of you know, I lost my beautiful husband on July 27th. It's been about 3 1/2 months at this posting and some days it feels like it was years ago and other days the pain is so acute it feels like just yesterday.
This is the way grief goes...it's a tricky prankster...you think you have it figured out and then it sneaks up and pulls the rug out from under you and you plunge under the murky waters gasping for air all over again.
This grief is different than the sudden and tragic death of our son back in 2006. That event almost took me down. I was horrified and paralyzed for literally YEARS.
The loss of my husband wasn't totally unexpected since he really suffered for about 4 months out of the short year that he was diagnosed with Lipo Sarcoma...a deadly and aggressive form of cancer that attacks the fatty tissues and connective tissues of the human body.
I only have to look back on the pictures of his emaciated body to see how horribly ill he was and know that he hated the life he was enduring. My husband was always physically fit and very active throughout his entire life. For his body to deceive him and destroy his quality of life was so horribly debilitating for him. It was a blessing when his beautiful spirit was finally released to go home to be with our beautiful son. He was never the same after losing Josh in 2006. Neither of us was... but we always leaned on each other and that helped us make it through.
So many things are now different in my world. I would have to say the loneliness at night is the worst. I can navigate through my days as they are pretty busy but coming home to a big empty house is the hard part...the really really REALLY hard part.
I am adjusting. I'm learning that this is something I must navigate through and even though I don't have the faintest idea why it happened I know it is for a reason and right now I'm just open and examining what the reason is.
I am working on a chalk paint project that is moving along slowly.
I had this little old chest that I wanted to paint a fun and funky color and then jazz it up a bit more with some colorful wallpaper.
Here it is in the beginning. I forgot to take a pic before I started painting it.
It's cute, kind of an Asian flair to the design and good solid wood with dovetailed drawer. You just don't find furniture like this anymore. The stuff out there in the stores is pretty crappy.
Here it is with the wallpaper taped on that I will be using to jazz it up. I have another few coats of paint to put on and might use a dark aging cream over that to seal it and give it more depth.
I'll share the finished product when done. Who knows WHEN that will be ha..ha! I used to drive myself to get things done quickly but I no longer tax myself that way anymore. I do what I can when I can and that has to be good enough.
I have a few more things that came into the consignment gallery.
This nice electric leather recliner came in. Actually from one of the ladies I have met in my grief group. The chair is great but the arm is all discolored...which she neglected to tell me and I didn't do my usual 50 questions to find out the condition up front. So now I'll have to order a leather dye to have my handyman restore it. It has no chance of selling as is...no chance. Bummer...I hate having less than pristine stuff on the floor..but my fault for assuming she would know I only take top of the line stuff.
These cute little consoles will be coming in. The lighter wood will be popular.
I'm also excited I will be doing a 'whole house' estimate on my day off which is Monday for a swanky household in The Brooks. The doctor who has engaged me also has a chi chi residence he is selling in The Colony and then yet another whole house in Stonybrook...which is more of a moderate scale gated golf community. So I will be swimming in furniture if I land these houses.
I'm always walking a tightrope between sales and garnering new merchandise.
It isn't an easy situation but I'd rather have more inventory that is desirable and will sell quickly whenever I can.
I know I'm bidding against several other consignment shoppes so wish me luck my sparklers...I need it!
I went to a dine in last night with our old group of friends. It was pretty much the same as most of my time with these friends. They are very wealthy friends that we have had pretty much of a 30 year friendship with who we met when we had our big construction business.
I sat at my former best friends house and listened to her rattle on to her group of ladies about how she is completely redoing her kitchen. I looked around at the beautiful cabinets and the awesome granite countertops and could only ask myself why...why is is so important for these show ponies to consume, consume, consume when the things they already have are perfectly functional and beautiful. It's because they are bored out of their gourds and can only entertain themselves and those around them by one upping constantly.
The really funny thing is she is going to all white in her kitchen. I remember when we built our house I chose all white for our kitchen and she poo pooed me for it being so boring.
HA...I guess my 'boring' kitchen is perfectly 'on trend' right now AND...I'm not spending a cools $25,000 grand to achieve it. I was just ahead of my time...har de har har!
Trends may come and go in decor...but these people are ALWAYS the same...nice people, but basically so superficial it's hard to be around them without at least 2 glasses of wine and a FINE sense of humor...that's FOR SURE!
Enjoy your weekend my friends. I'm off tomorrow so I'll probably work on my chalk paint project and maybe catch a movie with some of my new grief group friends. I look forward to the small blessings in my world right now and it's friends like you and my new friends I have met from the grief group. I'm sooo grateful my hubby prepared me for this period in my life by telling me people can only give you what they have to give...if they don't have what you need...move on and find those that do.
He was a smart, wonderful, caring and loving man! I'll miss him until I see him again further down the river!
Viva beautiful husband of mine...enjoy your time with our son and save me a seat on the joy ride.