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Wednesday, November 13, 2019

No one is ever prepared to see your parent failing in health. I am at that stage in my life witnessing my mother developing a very recent onset of dementia and the helplessness I feel is almost overwhelming. I have done this before. My father had Alzheimer’s over a decade ago, so losing two parents with a horrendous brain malfunction is horrible.

This is what is happening in my world.

The facility where mom resides is 6 minutes from my house so I visit her often. My sisters visit as well, but they live much further away. We are doing the best we can, loving mom and making sure she is comfortable.

Even though my mom is up there in years and also has had an incredible life that my father was able to give her; it is heartbreaking knowing that soon the cognitive thinking will totally disappear and recognizing the people she knows and love will be no longer.

Yes, my heart hurts.

I am coping with the inevitable, accepting what will be is something I am working on daily. Life and its cruelty can be brutal. But I am living healthy, taking my long walks in the morning, living a life I should and trying to be the best daughter at the same time.

I wish things were different, I wish my mom was back to her ol’ sweet self, I wish for another chance to have a meaningful conversation with my mom like I use to.

But it just isn’t going to happen…
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    This is a tough road. It does'nt matter how long a life she has had, she is still your mom. As you know, mine had dementia for 17 years - her physical and mental abilities waxed and waned. Sending you hugs as you navigate this new wrinkle.
    22 days ago
    my 3 Aunts had that as well. The hardest part when they no longer knew us. Mom is forgetting more She will be 90 December 7th . I am sorry about your Mom & how you are feeling
    22 days ago
    My heart goes out to you. Dealt with the same issues w/both my parents. Mom had Alzheimer’s and Dad developed dementia.

    I couldn’t agree more, the most painful parts are watching memories fade and when they no longer remember you. It definitely shatters the heart.

    Sweetheart, you are doing the absolutely best thing you can. My focus was letting my parents know they were loved beyond measure, which they did, I feel. That’s what you’re doing and they DO feel that.

    Continue taking care of yourself. That’s my strategy, too. None of us know what the future holds for us, but we can have positive affects by taking care of ourselves (as you truly already know – just sayin’)

    Wrapping you in warm hugs and prayers.

    22 days ago
    All of us blessed to live a long life will deteriorate either in mind or body. When it is your own parent it is heartbreaking. Just be kind to her and try to read her needs. I really do feel she will feel it in her soul.

    23 days ago
    I am so sorry. Two dear friends of mind spent their last years with that situation and it's very difficult indeed. You are I am sure the most loving and dedicated daughter to your dear mother.
    23 days ago
    I know exactly how you feel.
    Sometimes, life is tough for those who care. emoticon
    Sending you thoughts and prayers.
    24 days ago
  • DESIREE672
    You've had a very hard year as well as the joy from your daughter. Losing our mothers is one of the most significant losses - sometimes the most significant loss of our lives. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
    24 days ago
    Doesn't much help to know that many others have similar situations with their parents, does it? emoticon I find it very frustrating.
    24 days ago
    Oh Fredie, this is so sad! I am so sorry. Dementia and Alzheimer are horrible and cruel diseases. My heart goes out to you. emoticon
    24 days ago
  • EISSA7
    This makes me so sad for you....I went thru the same with my Mom and it is so very hard! I still remember the first time that my Mom had no idea who I was...it is heart wrenching. emoticon
    24 days ago
    My heart hurts for you Fredie. You are being such a good and loving daughter and I'm sure your mom understands that deep down. I was spared the pain of watching my parents die slowly but I never got to really say goodbye to either of them. Yes, life is cruel sometimes but I'm glad you are still taking care of yourself.
    24 days ago
    There is 2 sides of this, my mother die suddenly at the age of 62 due to a heart attack and dad passed 6 years later at the age of 66, due to COPD, so they died young and never were not affected with any memory problems, so a sudden death may be looked at as a blessing, but it's not, there are so many feelings that never got resolved. Just one day they are here and the next day they are gone leaves a person totally unprepared, and so unsettled. Either months or years of dementia, and sudden death they each have there draw backs and we have no control over it, but I will say that it was a blessing to have them know me to the end. I know you had a wonderful connection with your mother, and I know it has to be a challenge, as we did go thru this with Larry's mom, and all I can say is enjoy all those moment when she is coherent. Bless you.
    24 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    24 days ago
  • ERIN1128
    I feel you...my dad passed away last month after months of deteriorating physically, which was pretty horrible to watch. And my best friend's mom was officially diagnosed earlier this year with Alzheimer's and has been steadily declining, mentally. It's really hard.
    24 days ago
    Sending you prayers to make you strong in these sad times.
    24 days ago
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