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Monday, December 09, 2019

i put my Christmas tree up yesterday.. it is the the first time in 7 years i have put one up... the first one since my daughter moved out...
i really don't like Christmas for a variety of reasons .. it is not happy.. it is not jolly.. it is filled with sadness and loss
but i am trying to move on.. and in the spirit of moving on i decided to decorate for xmas and try remembering the jolly , happy side of it all

i have a not the size of sussex in my belly and a vague sick feeling.. and i feel on the verge of tears.. i am guessing anxiety has kicked in i just don't know why ... well i mean i know it is to do with xmas but i don't know why it is making me so anxious

in other news i can ask why now i am not just blindly listening to the negative things in my head .. i am questioning them and arguing my point
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    87 days ago
    Well done for taking the action to get a Xmas tree up. I'm in the opposite place this year - for the first time ever I don't feel like decorating at all!
    415 days ago
    I can totally relate; the season is not joyful for everyone
    415 days ago
    emoticon it is great you overcame your decision not to decorate for Christmas. maybe it will get easier
    415 days ago
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