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WARRIORSUE518
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Resolving NOT to have resolutions

Sunday, December 29, 2019

I am sitting here listening to the sweet buzz of the heating system (thank you for a warm home, God) and having some solitude while hubby sleeps (thank you for him, Lord) and a cup of coffee..well, my third cup of coffee. I'm debating about new year's resolutions, and I have decided... I'm not going to do that.



For decades I had the same resolutions: Lose Weight, and become more organized. Each year I fell fabulously short on my goals. It almost became a joke to me, those same two darn resolutions that I wouldn't make... RESOLVE!

2019 has brought its stress, but also I have done some good work. Some good weight maintenance thanks to Weight Watchers (blue), and also, I have become more organized! I still have way too many papers. But I have come a long way, and I am glad about that.

I think that when we tackle something with a heart of love rather than a hard heart that is mad that we "just can't get it right", something sort of magical happens. We begin to stop looking at things as black or white. There is no "always" or "never". Which leaves space for so much growth, because there is so much less condemnation.



For 2020? I would like to get my body more in shape, re-lose the pounds that will put me back at goal weight and monitor to see if 145 pounds IS attainable and sustainable for me. And if it's not... that's fine! I am more than a number on the scale. That doesn't mean I have given up and need to hate myself. It just means I am not willing to restrict the rest of my life's eating to stay a number.

I am also thinking that I will stop drinking coffee and diet soda. But for my own emotional health and self love, I'm not making it a directive. If I can cut down on the coffee and soda, that will still be a big win. I don't have to say I will "NEVER" drink them again.

I used to think that it had to be NEVER. That if it wasn't NEVER, then I was a loser.
And if I was a loser.. why not just "do whatever I want!" because feeling like a loser brings out a lot of rebelliousness in me.

2020? The only thing I am resolving is to treat myself with more kindness. I have not lost ONE POUND by hating myself !!! NOT ONE!!!! I went an entire year without eating chocolate... and lost no weight. All I did was be cruel to myself with my all or nothings.

Have goals, YES! And of course, take those goals seriously so that you can see results.
But be very kind to yourself. Half as kind as you would be to a stranger would be an enormous amount, I am betting!



Go to the store and buy colorful fruits and vegetables not because you have to, but because you GET TO. Buy a measuring tape so that you don't want to give up if the scale isn't your friend for a week or a month. Journal and/or pray because your feelings matter and without the cover of food those feelings become raw. Be vulnerable, reach out, be YOU.

You are enough.


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SHARON10002
    emoticon emoticon Why subject yourself to the extra pressure, and stress!
    Life as it is, always morphology and changing, gives us enough to deal with most of the time.
    I think if we can just be "accepting", and happy and content with where we are, then the rest will take care of itself a whole lot easier, too.

    I hope you had a wonderful New Year, my friend! emoticon
    18 days ago
  • BUTTONPOPPER1
    Sue, you have such a knack for expressing what I guess most of us think and feel. For me, from this blog it was this especially: "I used to think that it had to be NEVER. That if it wasn't NEVER, then I was a loser. And if I was a loser.. why not just 'do whatever I want!' because feeling like a loser brings out a lot of rebelliousness in me." I think this explains my whole life, up to and including now!

    Talking about the darkness you used to live in and how you learned to love and shine a light on yourself--I can't tell you how much hope this brings to me. Thank you.
    emoticon


    39 days ago
  • STILLSPARKLEIGH
    BeYOUtiful Indeed!!! Hope your goal of self kindness is reached with BOLDNESS and real AUDACITY!!! Be as COLORFUL and WONDERFUL as your Creator intended girl!!! emoticon
    43 days ago
  • CARRILU
    You're awesome. I am working on the caffeine intake as well and going be easy on myself too so I will be thinking of you my sista. I love your blogs and am so grateful for you every year!!
    46 days ago
  • 2BDYNAMIC
    You and I are on the same page; I stopped doing those NY traditional resolutions too!! Sure put an end to lots of frustration and disappointment. I have a plan going now--that is fun and works--rather than feeling I made a vow and better stick to it ...….Or else?
    46 days ago
  • CINDYAST
    I NEVER make New Years Resolutions. Like you, I immediately get rebellious and then fail. Great relatable biog, as always.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Happy New Year!
    48 days ago
  • BEDA65
    I concur completely! No reason to pressure oneself with resolutions.
    ~B~
    49 days ago
  • BARBIEE52
    Wonderful blog Sue..I have no resolutions, just that I will do the best I can, & take day by day, & pray for the best, & be thankful everday for what I have. Thanks for reminding that those are better than resolutions.
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    49 days ago
  • _RAMONA
    I love this: "I think that when we tackle something with a heart of love rather than a hard heart that is mad that we "just can't get it right", something sort of magical happens." AMEN!

    (I really missed your blogs!)
    (I love your new profile picture)

    I much prefer goals to resolutions... and I always have goals... even it's just to keep putting one foot in front of the other and breathe through. Goals encourage me and remind me of my capabilities while resolutions inevitably leave me feeling judged and found lacking. Interesting how a simple word choice changes the whole perspective.

    I wish for you a year of abundance, peace, JOY and grace!
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    49 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/30/2019 1:02:53 PM
  • _BABE_
    Sounds like a plan!
    emoticon emoticon

    Happy New Year! emoticon
    49 days ago
  • WATERMELLEN
    Super blog.

    And I'm with you on letting life live me -- with kindness, intuition and compassion.

    No absolutes. They absolutely don't work for me. Never!!! (irony intended).
    49 days ago
  • LPORTER2015
    Realistic goals are healthier for you! Good luck to you!
    49 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    I completely agree. I think everything in moderation is best. Have a lovely Monday and get ready for a wonderful new year full of sparkly days! With the support of our friends on SP, I know that I can continue this race forever. I will never be leading the pack, but I will always be part of it!
    Spark on my friend!
    49 days ago
  • BESSHAILE
    I think the way the idea of the New Year's Resolution was presented to me was so unique, from such a surprising source, that I have never felt like fulfilling them or not fulfilling them mattered. The concept came from my crazy dad who told me he made them every year - and I could SEE that he didn't fulfill them. But I liked the idea that my dad - an ancient 40 year old man - could imagine doing something either new or better - instead of the same old boring way grownups seemed to Always Do Crazy Things. This was a man with a gazillion rules we were supposed to follow ... when he remembered we were supposed to follow them ... and an array of disciplinary measures to ensure we did the mystery things he wanted us to do ... it was a strange childhood - or I was a strange child always misunderstanding the people I dealt with. But when he told me about resolutions it sounded to me like he was saying "You actually can do almost anything you might want to do and you get to pick" wow. who could ask for more?

    So - I love me a resolution. Probably other people would call them "ideas" or "possibilities" or what? New Year's Maybes. LOL - I love possibilities - yeah - and I know some of them will also make me healthier or fitter or calmer or more rested. So yeah.

    But I think you hit on the key - doing anything - be it a resolution or an idea or a maybe - from a heart of love - as Jeanknee points out - is really the way to live any year - all years. Let us all move from our loving hearts. Happy New Year
    49 days ago
  • SEAGLASS1215
    Awesome blog, as always - very inspiring! My resolution is to not make a resolution because I tend to be all or nothing, perfectionist or failure, and that simply doesn't work in helping me attain my goals. I like the idea of being kind to myself but I don't want to allow myself to "get away" with things either...forgive the slip ups but get back on track, watch out when I start using excuses and calling it logic...
    Happy New Year!!
    49 days ago
  • ROSEWCI
    You ARE enough! Happy New Year! emoticon
    49 days ago
  • ONEBLUEMOON
    Stirring words, Sue! There is not a single comment or compliment I can add to those below except this: A whole year without chocolate???? The horror!! emoticon
    49 days ago
  • LOSEDAPOUNDS
    Wonderful post. Love the way you worded this, "Go to the store and buy colorful fruits and vegetables not because you have to, but because you GET TO." So true. I feel grateful we can afford to get healthy produce and it makes us feel so good when we consume it. Healthy eating is a treat. I can tell you soda was easy for me to cut (I maybe have at most 5 or 6 a YEAR) because they contribute to kidney stones and after having a few of those I try to do everything to avoid. Can't give up coffee though. It is the highlight of my morning. I do reduce when it is seeming excessive. Treating yourself with more kindness is always a good idea! Best wishes for 2020!!
    49 days ago
  • LINDA!
    Fabulous blog. You are spot on. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. You are doing great!!
    50 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    Ah yes, that perfectionist in us can really make us nasty to ourselves! When we let go of that 'all or nothing @ all' attitude, things improve. We start talking nicer to ourselves.

    I want to feel healthy and functional this year. That's what I choose for myself.

    HUGS and all the very best to you, my dear, in 2020. It's our year!
    50 days ago
  • MORTICIAADDAMS
    I don't make resolutions any more either. I just try to edge more and more toward a healthy life and I have come a long way.
    50 days ago
  • JOYBELL47
    What a great blog .. after being on my forty year journey.. no that's not how old I am - that's how long I have been on my weight loss journey... and I can tell you that I, too have given up the word "never"... it just did not and has not worked for me.. kindness to myself, learning to love the "real me" has helped and now I'm just taking it one day at a time and doing my best to enjoy my journey with friends and Jesus , and I think that's a great way to do it..

    Thanks for all the great reminders for us … you are doing awesome !!!

    Hugs and Prayers, emoticon emoticon
    50 days ago
  • SUSMANNIE
    Wow, and I thought only I was heard on myself! I can totally relate to this blog. Instead of setting high standards that I will judge myself harshly for not meeting perfectly, and thus not accomplish anything positive, I have been taking a new approach.

    I am looking in a nonjudgmental way at my bad habits and try to replace them with better ones. I am looking into myself with kindness. This strengthens me rather than wearing me down. You are doing the same here. Great blog!
    50 days ago
  • SHMOOKITTY
    So many great ideas in this blog! I am also at a point where I am learning that there should not be a NEVER. It has been a wonderful lesson to learn!

    I am not making resolutions with specific measurement goal points either. Like you, I am not sure whether my goal weight is attainable. I think it is - and in fact I raised it from a previous number - but I am not going to kill myself trying attain ONE NUMBER. Greater self-love has come with age for me in so many ways, not just weight loss. I am in such a better place glancing at the big 5-0 next December. I wouldn't go back in time for anything. Can't wait to see how wise i get at 60! emoticon

    I always relate so well to your blogs! Keep posting!

    Wishing you a very happy new year! emoticon
    50 days ago
  • GODS-PRINCESS
    Great blog!
    50 days ago
  • MARINEMAMA
    Here’s to a great year! emoticon
    50 days ago
  • JEANKNEE
    Happy New Year, Sue!!!

    No resolutions here either. Dear Hubby and I had a conversation about resolutions a number of weeks ago and neither one of us have any recollection of ever making a New Year's resolution. Yes. He and I are odd ducks. We know it and we are faring much better in the kindness department.

    This passage really speaks to me: I think that when we tackle something with a heart of love rather than a hard heart that is mad that we "just can't get it right", something sort of magical happens. We begin to stop looking at things as black or white. There is no "always" or "never". Which leaves space for so much growth, because there is so much less condemnation.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    50 days ago
  • BEACHCOMBER16
    emoticon
    50 days ago
  • LORI-K
    Great blog! Happy New Year to you! I hope 2020 is a great year for you and me also! 😊
    50 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    50 days ago
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