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Tuesday 12/31

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Well, it is official as of today. I am a senior citizen. I am old enough to retire if I wasn't disabled. I don't know how I feel about that. Turning 65 isn't the same as it use to be. Our life span has greatly increased and it isn't "old" anymore. I will do this year what I do every year on my birthday, stay home. I can only remember 2 times I was out on New Year's Eve. Too dangerous and no where to go. There is a party at the senior center today, but I didn't sign up for it. I didn't know you had to. Oh well.

When I look over the events of this year, it wasn't a very happy year. Yesterday was Aunt Joan's birthday, she passed on 9/11. My Mom told me Aunt Jane her twin had a hard time yesterday. Her twin wasn't there to celebrate with her and her family. My Aunt Joan was alone, no children. I have Paul, but I don't have Paul. Maybe that is why I bonded with her so much. RIP Aunt Joan.

I struggled this year with my son being incarcerated and feeling of quilt, shame, and failure. I know it isn't my fault, but those feeling are there. I also have guilt because I haven't written him in months. What can I say to him.? I do take his phone calls and then struggle after the call.

Good things have also happened this year. I have lost weight, 8 pounds since November 29. My whole family is blessed to still have my Mom with us at 93. She will turn 94 on February 6 I joined the senior center though I haven't gone to any events yet. I didn't understand you had to sign up. Now I know. Monday and Wednesday they have silver sneakers in their new fitness center. It is $2.00 a session, but I can go a few times. I have friends who support me and encourage me on SP. I think I would be more crazy than I am now if I didn't have my SP family. I want to say emoticon to each and every one of you. I hope you have a blessed, safe, loving and prosperous New Year. emoticon emoticon

I look forward to 2020 and what it brings.

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