Thursday, January 02, 2020
I lost 48 lbs between Feb. 17, 2019 and April 30, 2019 and then I gained it back again. That was the third time in my life I have lost a significant amount of weight and then just failed and gained it all back. As of today, Jan. 1, 2020, I'm starting all over again. I'm sick of all the rollercoaster garbage and I'm sick of looking horrible, feeling horrible, and having obesity related health problems. Now I have an umbilical hernia because of all the blubber in my abdominal cavity forcing out my intestines. Yuck! Then there's the bad right hip, the ankles constantly in pain, the hemorrhoids, the bartholin's gland cysts, the painful skin chafing, the acid reflux and heartburn, and absolutely zero energy, oh and depression and getting sick more often. Yay. And I can't forget the not being able to find clothes that fit because Walmart doesn't sell anything big enough, the not being able to fit into restaurant booths or into bathroom stalls, the not fitting behind the steering wheel, the not being able to buckle my seat belt. And there's all the furniture I keep breaking just by sitting on it. Ugh! All I can do is be horribly ashamed. Today I started over. Today has to be the day where I never look back, or my next problem is going to be a heart attack or a stroke and I'll be dead.