I have had my world rocked with an initial diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis. It is not like "regular" arthritis. It is usually progressive. It can affect other organs like the heart and lungs. It is scary if I let it be.
Because my husband is petrified, he has not been helpful to me on my journey to accept. But that's okay because honestly, though he loves me and I love him, how I process this life event is between me and God. I spent a few days so angry. Okay..more than a few. But yesterday I got past the anger. God is like that perfect parent, in the sense that even if you're mad at Him, you can say, "I am mad at you!" and He won't love you less. He will hear your pain. He won't take it personally. He will just be glad you confided in Him.
When I lost weight, I had imagined it was due to the power of forgiveness; toward others, and toward myself. I still think that. But I also think that God already knew of my diagnosis and He helped me in a grand way. The biggest factor that influences why a woman would not go into remission if she has rheumatoid arthritis, is her weight. For a man, it's if he is a smoker. I love seeing God in action. How much He loves me.
My hands get super swollen, as do my feet. I go for my first visit to the rheumatologist next Thursday and I'm sure she will get me started on medication. The medications, even, are scary in their potential side effects. But all I can do is trust, and move forward. Do what I can, when I can.
I have hand splints for carpal tunnel that are working well for my aches and pains. I bought myself heated gloves you put in the microwave. I bought an ankle strap for my fitbit because when I use the splints the fitbit on my wrist gets squooshed and hurts, lol.
I am focusing on eating arthritis-friendly foods like berries, spinach, walnuts, broccoli, grapes, garlic and ginger. I am exercising when I feel good. I am told I shouldn't run anymore but walking and biking and the elliptical are all great. I will eventually do weight training, but not with hand weights. I am told that I must do stretching and also focus on relaxation techniques.
It's like preparing for a whole new way of living. I guess along the way there will be some mourning, you know? But my greatest intention is to continue to shine. It's a vital part of me that cannot be dimmed. I am grateful for it.
I have joined an RA team and they are wonderful and supportive and mostly, upbeat. Mostly. lol . This is just a new part of my story. A new way I can come beside someone and encourage.
For that, I am grateful.