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The Same, But Different

Thursday, February 27, 2020



There is a stretch of our lane that runs along side a forest and faces west, abutting onto a field. It catches afternoon sunshine. It's about 1/10th of a mile long and over the years I have planted daffodils along the edge. I plant a mixture of them so I get a long period of bloom and it's fun to see which ones open up first every year - because - each year it's different. Some years the Ice Follies open up first. Some years the old King Alfred shows his face early. There are some old naturalized daffodils that I've gathered from abandoned houses - often they are the first to wake up.

They are always daffodils. They always open in the late winter. Each year it's the same. But each year it's different.

This is how I feel about my relationship with WW and weight creep and weight loss. Over the past 20 years, the years when I was just about at my heaviest and the years when I have been at my happy weight and all the years in between - the issues have been pretty much the same - in general but different in specifics. And the solution has been ... pretty much the same in general but different in specifics.

I come from a very heavy family. As a girl I thought my immediate family was the only chunky branch of our tree but I see now that most, though not all, of my cousins are also in the chunky category - if not down right fat. So being heavy is ... was .. my normal. Not my happy but my normal. I had a decade of heavy from about 93 to 03 and I hated it. Through effort and planning and actions, I changed the outside of me, but the inside is still wondering if that old heavy normal is waiting for her chance again.

Well - I am all that I am - even if what I am is just the story I'm telling myself. I am trying to rewrite my story about me starting with a new definition. But I'm glad I learned some skills these past 20 years. Even though I'm working within a much smaller weight range, I can go back to those tools and use them again. They're still the same skills - but the feel is different. This time it is pre-tracking. Another year it was Eating the Rainbow. Another year it was watching the fats.

Each time - they're the same tools - I just use different ones.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • GETULLY
    So true. We have a large toolbox to help us. We just need to pick the right tool for the job each time. I have not seen any of my things greening but the grocery has daffodil heads ready to take home and watch them open up.
    34 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    Beautiful flowers!
    34 days ago
  • WATERMELLEN
    Love the daffodils . . . and the "flash upon the inner eye" as you recall pass WW strategies!!

    Yes yes yes: always the same, always different.

    I do NOT like feeling heavy either. Prowling around in my skinny grey cords with a grey leather moto jacket, grey ankle boots . . . black turtle neck, little black and grey camo scarf. And yeah: felt terrific!!
    34 days ago
  • JCMSMILE
    "Everything old is new again"! Keep refining your tools...keep them nice and sharp and ready to go emoticon
    34 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    Yes, I identify with things being the same, yet different! That's why being open to modifying things, being open to things is so important. That helps us develop all the tools we need. For a healthy lifestyle, that means developing good coping tools during weight loss and continuing to modify as needed throughout maintenance. Getting back to basics, sometimes!

    Beautiful daffodils. None here, yet.
    34 days ago
  • BETHGILLIGAN
    Love the daffodils! I also have some "heavy" genetics on my mother's side. I don't like it but have learned to accept what that means and the work I do may not produce the same results as my friends. It's the mental work that I try to focus on; acceptance and love of self, believing I am good enough, appreciating my sense of humor and my caring nature. I have many good and not so good qualities but being overweight is, sadly, often the one I obsess about.
    34 days ago
  • LYNCHD05
    Daffodils are so spring aren’t they. Fir dime places it is the crocus
    Yes our weight problems are very different over the years. The good thing is we never give up and we learn so much along the way
    35 days ago
  • JEANKNEE
    I've thought about planting daffodils for years and have never done it. Thinking this year it will happen. There's a bit of a slope between our house and the neighbor to the downside of the hill and it's planted with daffodils. They've been in bloom for a bit and I so enjoying seeing them. We have some paperwhite narcissus in our yard.

    And, what you've shared of your experience: the same, but different, rings true for me too!
    35 days ago
  • ONEKIDSMOM
    This rings so true. Phases and tools, attitudes and motivations. Deciding when to start NOW... and what to use. Something those of us who struggle long-term with hereditary tendencies seem to have to do.


    35 days ago
  • DSHONEYC
    My jonquils are nearly spent, a patch of brilliant yellow across the yard that I can see from the kitchen window. One of the wonderful things about San Diego is that something is blooming all year long. The desert / meditterranean plants only need water to be profuse.

    I can identify with a 'heavy family'. My parents were about 5'6" and a bit on the chunky side. I was 9 pounds 12 ounces at birth though I was not a fat child or teenager. Too busy, too active. The first gain was of course the freshman 15 in college. The food was disgusting, mystery meat and dehydrated potatoes. After I married at 22 I gained up to my highest ever recorded weight of 170. At 27 I caught pneumonia and lost 40 pounds. Up and down through the 30s, 40s, and then 50s hit. 2 years ago I was at 167 so I tried a plan called Optavia. Lost 30...but after 6months of maintenance I starting gaining again and back to 157.

    So I signed up 3 weeks ago with a wellness doctor to fix that and all the accompanying health issues of aging. This was my 69th birthday present to myself. It is a hard program but I am concentrating on learning my body and the cues it gives off. I am at 147.5 this morning and learning a lot about food, the food systems we have and what a healthy body should feel like.

    We are worth all the effort we put forth and I hope this exercise will be the sticker! Third time is a charm. It took me 3 times to quit smoking. But I did it. What's more important is I know I'd still love to have a cigarette, but I chose not to and I can conquer the cravings. Food for me is another addiction (mainly in the form of sugar).

    emoticon = emoticon
    35 days ago
  • KANSASROSE67
    I can't WAIT for daffodils! Or green grass. Or little chartreuse leaf buds. I love spring so much!

    My family body type is an interesting mix. My mom and one of her sisters were tiny. My grandma and the other three sisters were chunky. On my dad's side, all three of my aunts are tiny. I have inherited the small bone structure, but also the heavy thighs and strong calves. I always wonder if I am meant to have the size 2 appearance of my aunts but have just covered it with a layer of too much chocolate and bread? Or is my best weight more of a "strong, rounded" look? Until I am motivated to really work at it, I will probably never find out!
    35 days ago
  • MEADSBAY
    Great blog, my friend.
    Working on the inside is a huge piece of the puzzle, isn’t it?
    Modern society has got to find a solution to this terrible obesity epidemic!
    I retired in 2006 but I remember even back then noticing that more and more children were coming into third grade already a bit chunky.
    Looove the daffodils!
    We have tons of bulbs coming up in coastal RI but only a few crocus blooming.
    emoticon


    35 days ago
  • TSHAWGER
    I love a vase of daffodils.
    35 days ago
  • DEBVNE
    The same, but different...amen. Dadffodils. Yes, please. We’ve had some delightfully warm days, the sun has even made some rarish appearances. However, this is a colorless beige place. Jealous there, chica. I know, location, location, location. My inner southern belle speaks loudly at times...hahaha.

    As for your tools, all are in my arsenal...used daily. I mix things up, try something new and let something go. My new trick is intermittent fasting and the window of time I actually eat each day. Huuuuuuuge. Such a difference and game changer. Eat for eight hours, nothing for sixteen...really ups the mindfulness and listening to hunger cues. For me.

    Squeezes and sunshine for you, sweet chica.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    35 days ago
  • no profile photo MLR_00
    Thanks for this.
    35 days ago
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