On April 15, 2019, I logged my weight of 185.8. That had been the first time in nearly 5 years that I had touched that weight, the line for a 5'6" woman from being Obese to being Overweight according to the BMI. I had touched that weight several times as being an adult - the first time back in the early 00's and then again in 2013 as I used MediFast to bring me from my all-time highest weight of 268 to my all-time lowest weight of 155. But last year, it waws more meaningful than ever, because in my mind, it would be the last time I would ever have to lose weight to get to that number.
Today is April 22, 2020, exactly one week away from that anniversay. We're in the middle of a pandemic, I'm stuck at home, and everyone is posting things about all the stress eating they are doing, now that they are home surrounded by food, and how no one is wearing proper pants.
Today I weighed in at 187.0 pounds.
This would be a major deal for me, regardless of the pandemic, the stay-at-home orders, the self-quarantine, the stressful times that make me want to eat (which is my number one trigger). I've never managed to keep weight off for an entire year. This is truly the longest time I've managed to maintain a significant weight loss. Even my previous weight loss of 2013, I couldn't maintain a loss a full six months.
Now let's throw in the current state of affairs. I'm stuck at home. I'm stressed out. I'm reminded of the years of my childhood being stuck at home, dreaming of what the world looked like outside the windows of my parents' home, reading books to at least get away in my imagination. I'm an emotional eater; when I'm stressed or agitated or sad, I turn to food. So right now there is absolutely everything pushing me to munch and munch and munch and totally throw all my progress away.
But right now, it's more critical than ever to not do that. The news is reporting on who is getting COVID-19 - and what would you know, obesity is becoming a risk factor:
Another anniversary is coming up, one that may be more important. On May 2nd, 2018, I started this, the Last Weight Loss Journey. I was tired of how I felt in my body, I didn't want to die of a heart attack before I was 40, and I decided to turn my life around. I'm two years in on that process, but today more than ever I am glad I did that.
So although there are people making jokes about binge eating and lounging around in yoga pants all day, I will not be one of them. I will continue to wear my size 12 skinny jeans though my cats are the only one to see them. I will continue to eat like I have been, resisting that urge to stress eat. I have fought hard to lose this weight and keep it off and I will not give that up!