Long car ride = therapy and realizations
Wednesday, June 24, 2020
Recently I was on a long car ride with my husband. He tends to do "therapy"with me while we drive. He gets me to open up and discuss really hard subjects. Stuff that was done to me as a child, being the subject of bullying all my life, to all the deaths of grandparents, father figures, etc.
On this recent trip we were talking about forgiveness. Forgiving those people that hurt me. But my husband asked me if I had forgiven myself. That right there hurt my chest instantly. The answer: No I hadn't. I hadn't forgiven myself for anything that had happened in my life. As that realization really soaked in and the gears started turning, I could feel the hurt in my chest ease up. I started Forgiving myself. It was like a weight was lifted. I am now working everyday to make sure to work more on forgiving both myself and others too. I feel this will translate to my weight loss journey.
Since then I have been doing better. I am moving around more. I am making some better decisions about food. Advocating more for my needs and wants instead of just shrink back away from everything and everyone. I feel like I can do life a little bit better than I was before.