Weigh in. Gained 2lbs 2oz. What the hell do I have to do to actually lose weight? Or at least not gain yet more? I've numbered this day 140 as I've been counting since 'Lockdown' became official in the UK . In actual fact though, this semi isolation has been going on 5 weeks longer than that for me, as it realistically started when I came back from my last trip 'home' on the 18th Feb. I checked my weight chart today. I've gained 8lbs since that visit 'home'. That's an average of 1.33 lbs per month. If you're fed up because you're only losing 1.33 per month, imagine how you'd feel if you were gaining it despite all your efforts.
Elaine happened to 'phone me not long after I'd weighed myself. During the conversation she naturally asked me how I am. "Fed up" I told her, "due to gaining yet another 2lbs this week". "I shall have to buy salad for when you visit" she said. That will mean lettuce, cucumber, and tomatoes [all of which I like] I'd guess given she isn't a 'cook' and has a limited range/knowledge of nutrition. Of course I know that eating 'rabbit food' isn't the answer but her automatic response was to try and help as best she can bless her.
Not long after Elaine and I finished our chat, SHE pitched up. You know - The Despot:
The Despot - Boot Camp!
Me - I aint going in no boot camp.
The Despot - I mean one at Base Camp.
Me - Yeah 'cos that really worked last time.
The Despot - You know the saying "if at first you don't succeed.............
"Me [sneering] - "Try, try, try again".
The Despot - I was thinking of your father's version - "if at first you don't succeed, do it the way SHE told you in the first place".
Me [chuckling] - Yeah, he did use to say that.
The Despot - I am SHE as you yourself have said.
Me - I can't do no boot camp, my body isn't up to it.
The Despot - Boot camp just means pushing yourself a little more than usual. We can adjust it to suit your current needs and ability. You got to fail to succeed. What have you got to lose?
Me - My Sanity!
The Psychologist - I don't think so.
Me - And what's that supposed to mean?
The Psychologist - Well, you're the one talking to voices in your head.
Me - Wotevah.
The Despot - So, we'll kick off tomorrow then?
Me - I need to talk to The Legal Eagle!