Thursday, August 13, 2020
I rarely blog in here.
I used to keep journals. You know, the paper kind? I would take pieces of blank paper and do, as Julia Cameron says, my 'morning pages.' These days, it's more like the Anti-45 commercials, "It's mourning in America..." It's mourning in my life today.
Now my house is a mess due to a lot of things, and my mourning papers are strewn all over the place. Oy.
So, I thought I'd blog! I have a blog, but hardly anyone reads it, right?
So, I come in here. Many folks who come in here will respond to this downer blog with inspirational memes and cartoons and 'You got this, Damon!'
I appreciate the sentiment. But right now, today, it won't make any difference. I'm just depressed.
I always say, "Why?" Oh, I know eating pizza all the time, not getting enough sleep and not wearing my CPAP machine all contribute to it, but it came on strong today, triggered by massive problems with my cell phone. I was on the phone with T-Mobile and then Sprint for four hours on Saturday. Yesterday, I went to T-Mobile, they sent me to Sprint, who said I have to call T-Mobile. Two experts later, my phone still won't work, and no one knows why.
I won't go into too many more details, but suffice it to say, I always have expectations with cell phones, and I'm always frustrated.
I'm trying to be a good boy scout and not get angry and threaten the cat and snap at ****oles who refuse to wear a mask... Oh, yeah, that's another thing.
So, ok: I'm frustrated at cell phones, and I hate being around the maskless.
So, I'm trying to be mindful, right? And what happens when I can't express my feelings very well? I get depressed.
Counseling? Hell yes: counselor, addictions counselor, doctor, psychiatrist, support groups, etc. I do it all. And massive amounts of mental health meds. One of them greatly contributes to my weight gain.
I don't like entering all these charts and graphs. Spark is like this weight-loss social network, with massive amounts of advertising. argh. I just use it to enter my food and exercise, and once in a blue moon, to spread bounties of good cheer. Via blog.
I'll feel better. Eventually. T-Mobile phone 'experts' told me to go back to the T-Mobile store. I'm going tonight. Wish me luck. If you never hear from me again, its because I've been sucked into the void, between shadow and light, between here and there. The Twilight Cell Phone Zone.