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Social Media, Kindness and Marriage

Saturday, October 24, 2020

I wrote up a blog about what I'm going through and realized, I can't actually share it - not yet. My hope is in under 2 weeks, when the deadline is complete, I will have the ability to talk, to share and to unload. As one of my coworkers said recently, simply because someone presents with smiles and laughter, it doesn't mean they are feeling it deep inside.

Be kind.

Social media is a cruel beast. It can be a means to bring people together, it can also tear people apart. I've been monitoring my time on social media and Spark People, it's difficult though when you are also isolated from getting out, doing those social things which gets on off the net and into the real world.

By the way, if you haven't watched Social Dilemma, I highly recommend it. I closed down all my accounts except Facebook and Spark People - after I saw the film.

Don't tell me to visit online or by phone - was doing that prior to Covid. I was also going out, traveling, socializing, hanging out, visiting and now, as a single person, I'm at home without even a fish or cat to keep me company. I'm more fortunate than some single folks, as I can still visit my folks up the road, am able to go to work, and live in an area with lower Covid numbers. I'm thankful for that.

I've also been dealing with health issues for the past 1.5 years, including pain and lower mobility which have affected both my ability to get out for walks, and my ability to do more than I'm doing. I have a few people who have invited me to their homes in the summer, when we could sit outdoors and I had to decline - the pain, the weight, it all creates barriers. I don't fit into most chairs with arms. I managed to squeeze into the hairdresser's chair but it was painful. I almost didn't make it out. Even going for flu vaccination, I have to think where I will get this done, as my usual place has narrow chairs with arms - which I cannot fit into.

I'm really working to see the brightness, the good and the caring.

My union rep informed me yesterday, despite her asking to keep the region she's currently working, there is a shake-up and we are getting a new union rep. I have an idea there may be more behind it, than meets the eye, and trust me, it is a good reason. She and I work well together, my rep has done much work improving working conditions over the past many years and she does it tirelessly. She's excited if she has to change regions, she is handing her reins over to a seasoned male rep who will also work hard for us.

I know the transition will go smoothly and I'm very thankful she will remain my friend. We had a good talk and we are still involved in some areas of the union, where we'll be connecting up, plus now as friends, we can hang out differently - it won't have to focus on work now.

As I said, brightness - trying to see the positive in the changes and that's how I'll approach it with my team, when we are notified. If you are wondering - I forgot to mention I'm the senior shop steward and have been doing this since we brought in the union, back in the mid-90's. I took a break for a few years, mid-2000's and then returned to the role.

In terms of brightness, I have my specialist appt with the weight management centre for Dec 2nd and I can get the blood work, ECG and urinalysis all done in the local hospital. I'm very stoked to get on board with the centre and figure out these health issues, including massive weight gain.

My folks are coming up to their 60th wedding anniversary - Oct 28th. Instead of a party I did a call-out on Facebook and my friends, family, they all responded. The first card arrived early October and it's been a stream of cards/gifts since....today I saw they have around 2 dozen cards, a postcard from Norway, a gift subscription to "old timers stories" magazine and a lovely wedding photo with a beautiful saying from my cousin (and his wife). I know there is more arriving, as people are keeping me posted. One cousin plans to send flowers, others are or have sent cards, and a coworker is working on a card that she'll give to me for them.

Dad said, "did you see in the wedding picture, I was standing up straight and tall" and Mum said, "yes and I was skinny." Dad said, "So no more pictures of us, have we ever changed."

I said, "Dad you and Mum have beat the odds and lived, not everyone has been afforded that privelage. You both look amazing, don't forget that!"

He smiled. Mum said, "Yeah, it's just tough some days this getting old thing" and laughed.

Dad is turning 85 years old this November and Mum is 80. They worked hard all their lives. Dad was in logging, then the sawmill, then ran a quarter section farm. Mum raised us up, and when we moved to north-central BC, she worked full-time at the health unit, along with farming. We also had a small farm in Surrey, back before all the houses moved in. Both my parents grew up on farms too - Mum was born in Alberta and Dad, Saskatchewan.

I still chuckle when I think back on how they met. My mother kept refusing to tell me when I was a teen, and I finally got it out of her, when I was 14. When she told me the story, I burst out laughing as it totally made sense why she didn't want me to know.

My mum was in her late teens when she met my dad, he was 5 years older. He and his brother, along with their best friend had recently moved from Sask, to BC, looking for work. Their older brother was already living here, married and settled down. My mother was living in PoCo with her parents, as they moved there while she was in high school, from Alberta.

My mum and her friend went to the movies in New West, and after the movies, they strolled down the main street. Mum said they should have taken the last bus home, but they saw these cute men walking towards them. The men were my Dad and his best friend. Mum and her friend struck up conversation and they all ended up going for coffee. By now there definitely are no buses out to PoCo, so Mum convinced Dad and his friend, to drive them home. Dad said it was a very long drive and he really hoped he wouldn't run out of gas, as he didn't realize the distance.

It's really not that far now - back then they didn't have the road systems they do now.

Dad flirted, Mum flirted and she agreed to date him.

Dad did things like pick her up at the end of the driveway because he had a few drinks and didn't want her father to know. He called Mum to set up a date with her, while on a date with another woman.

So ......... the reason I laughed as a teen ...... I was out there in town with my girlfriends and when we got bored, we would flag down guys in pickups to drive us around. We'd get in all sorts of trouble and my mother was always telling me, no good comes from young women picking up boys who drive pickups.

Yet that is exactly what she did. emoticon

They had a simple wedding, followed by a lunch and then went on a honeymoon to their new apt. Dad promised Mum he'd take her one day to Hawaii and she recently said, I guess that was smoke up my butt. emoticon

My parents worked hard, they both grew up together and now are inseparable. They still bicker which makes my niece chuckle and flirt. They've gone through good times and bad. I'm really fortunate to be their daughter.

So....that's about it for me. I had a rough emotional week, didn't do a whole lot and ended on a positive note, visiting with the folks and laughing about silly things.

I hope you all have a great weekend!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I found this blog to be quite interesting! I might add, if someone is kind to you......please return the favor.

    30 days ago
  • LORI-K
    PS: I watched the Social Dilemma and found it very disturbing. I just accept all that was said as the way the world is now. I go out of my way NOT to click on ads, and just use Facebook and other sites as a means of keeping in touch with friends and acquaintances. And expanding my knowledge with gardening and cooking pages.
    I worry most for my kids because they never had the luxury of living the pre-internet life like I did.
    31 days ago
  • LORI-K
    I enjoyed your blog!
    The love story of your Mom and Dad is too cute. You are so blessed to have them in your life, still. Enjoy every moment.
    We are a very strong pro- labor family. Union strong!
    Hang in there until your story can be told. Hang in there until your health appointment.
    Sending all good thoughts your way, Bev.
    31 days ago
    I am so glad that visiting with your folks is still your happy place!
    32 days ago
  • LOF7203
    Thanks for sharing
    33 days ago
  • no profile photo GOFORGIN
    33 days ago
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