On the Road Again....
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Well, it's been quite a while since I was here, I'll admit it. I "fell off the wagon" several months ago, and I just couldn't get myself back on it! Then, this morning, I had so much joint pain in my knees, I could barely function to get ready for work. I told myself that enough was enough! I re-focused myself, and here I am..... again!
On a positive note, I have been hovering within about 4 pounds, so although I haven't lost any more weight, I haven't gained a whole lot back, either. (I was actually at my highest weight about three years ago after I had my third child.) I think if I can just get out of the 260's I might feel motivated again, like I'm actually getting somewhere.
That's one of my biggest struggles: motivation. I have to lose 115 more pounds to be where I want to be, and it just seems like such a long road. If I think about it too much, I just get so discouraged and want to give up because I feel like I'll never get there.
Another problem for me is portion control. The fact is, I love food. There it is, plain and simple. And in reality, who doesn't? I mean, isn't that why we're all here, anyway? See, I don't like to reheat my food because it never tastes the same, so I like to enjoy as much of it as I can at my meals while it's fresh and hot. A no-no, I know. (lol) And truth be told, I can't stay away from that damn chicken skin, either!!!
Anyway, so here I am yet again trying to get somewhere. I feel so good on the inside, and I just can't make my body do what I want it to. Does that make sense? It's like my mind and my spirit want to do one thing, but my body says, "No way, Jose! Aint gonna happen!" It's so imprisoning! It just drives me mad!
I'm back on Stage One, Fast Break, and my goal is to, if nothing else, AT LEAST get on here everyday and track my food intake. If I can at least focus on staying within my calorie limit, I might feel like I have some kind of control. I also want to get more activity in. It's summer, I have three children, a dog, and a swimming pool.... I have no excuse for not getting out more and making my heart pump a little bit.
Anyhow, that's pretty much my update on how I'm feeling and what's going on right now. If anyone has some great motivational tips, I'd be glad to hear them!!! Ironically, I still have pictures up of my "Before and After" virtual models, but my eyes have seemed to learn how to over look them when necessary! How can a mind be such a powerful thing sometimes, and such a weak thing at others????????