. I can't tell you how much I HATE this picture. I remember dressing that day and feeling like crap. My favorite night of the year is Christmas eve and I had no pants that zipped. I just reread one of my blog posts from last year. "what will make this time different" There the pic was staring me in the face. Surprised to see my weight. I thought that 262 this summer was my highest weight, no 268 was... eek.
So my 2020 story. I started losing weight. I lost about 20 lbs. Then the pandemic hit. I gained 16 lbs back. I was drinking like a fish... OMG this person that is an extravert is now stuck in the house. I had to shut my day care down, the state mandated it. All of this time at home, alone.
My uncle became really ill and he lives in Florida so I hopped a plane and i went to Florida to nurse him back to health and to make sure a treatment plan was in place before heading back to Massachusetts.
After a month in Florida I booked my flight home. I found out that my husband was having a heart procedure and that maybe my absence was not as good for him as it was for my uncle that received my care. So I get home. His procedure worked and I was just settling into place and routine when my oldest brother had a very mild stroke. The stroke struck a nerve with me. If I did not start taking care of myself I was going to be following in his footsteps. I am morbidly obese. I am just toying with my health.
I am 262 and decided that it is time to do something. I decided to to the Hard 75 challenge. Yes the woman that has not worked out at all is now going to work out for 45 minutes twice a day. I feel determined fueled by my desire not to have a stroke.
August 1 i was 4 lbs down from December.
October 23 at the end of the 75 day challenge I was down. 45 lbs since last December. This challenge was life changing for me. I learned to put myself first. Making sure that before i went to bed each night that I prioritized me first. I deserve to prioritize me. For 30 years I was wife first and 29 years mother first and somewhere along the way I lost me.
Over the past 2 months I have lost 5 lbs. I bought an elliptical as a reward for finishing the hard 75. I scoured FB marketplace for weeks looking for a nordic trac elliptical secondhand.
I found one and I have loved it! I find that there are some stressors that are causing me to stress eat again. I have no control over it but I do have control how I handle it.
I have decided that I will do hard 75 again and I started on Friday. I deserve to be healthy.
Here i am holding on emotionally by a thread. As I look at the last year in review 2020 weight wise has been a great year for me. I have lost 50 lbs. I need to love myself so I can love the people in my life that need me. I know that this year when New Years hits I will be confident in knowing that I can be healthier one good decision at a time.
I look forward in seeing what 2021 has in store for me!