Finally feeling a little bit better after my " last supper" mentality.
Tuesday, January 26, 2021
Yesterday was the last supper mentality. Where you eat like crap because you are going to start eating good. Oh did I feast.. Ice cream sandwiches, peanut butter cup and oatmeal sandwich cookies. I literally felt like poo. Oh I deserved every moment of misery that I felt.
I tried the minute by minute approach and it was not working. I just felt out of control. It was a full force binge. No I did not track it. I wanted a big eraser to clear my mind of what had occurred.
I fell asleep early and woke up at midnight. Then I cleaned. I cleaned the dishes, the counter, the table and the living room. Omg... I felt like I cleared my mind. Instead of eating anything else bad, I poured a huge mug, 32 ounces of water and started to drink. I got a couple of hours of sleep from 3:30 till 6 am.
I woke up and you know what? Today was a new day. I tracked the food I have eaten. I have already had 8 glasses of water and I am planning on drinking 4 more. When the children I watch leave I am going to go for a nice long walk before the snow. Even if it is snowing I will go for a walk. I plan on going to bed early tonight. I planned today. I tracked today and I F O R G A V E M Y S E L F!!!!
I don't know how to explain it but it seems like a light switch has been turned on. My spark is ignited. I will end with this song. I just love this song. It is how I feel. I wont give up on me. When my husband had his heart surgery last month this song just got me through my workouts. https://youtu.be/bDwNbi-3O-k