This is what I'm feeling today. Tomorrow that could totally change.
Some day I will be done looking back, questioning myself and dwelling on my inadequacies. I'll rise like the dawn of a new day, brighter, stronger and more powerful than I've ever been. All my life, I've battled, struggled and fought for everything I've wanted...even some of what I've needed. I haven’t gotten the breaks and help to climb the mountains that I've faced. But, I'm more than a survivor, I'm a warrior queen with a fiery spirit and a strong heart. No longer will I allow others to take advantage of me and I'm working on turning the page on a new chapter. No more excuses, no more apologies.
I have now started fighting for my dreams and stop settling for less than I deserve in life and in all things that matter...to ME. I'm casting aside the pain of anxiety and depression and using that anguish as fuel to rise stronger from the ashes. Sure, I'm afraid and don’t have all the answers, but I now know, understand at long last that I don’t have to...I just have to get up, keep going and take each day and baby steps one at a time. Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the knowledge that some things are more important...My happiness, my life, my self-worth, my friends. Those are worth any price and I'm going to battle for what I believe in.
I've been beaten down, dragged through defeat and broken more times than I care to remember...But those challenges should never define me...They have forged my will in the fires that tried to consume me. The flames made me the warrior she is...I'm taking back my life and my voice will be heard with resounding passion and conviction. This is long overdue and I'm seizing it with both hands and standing in front of the storms that sought to bring me to my knees. I may have stared adversity, disaster and failure in the eyes before...but this time it has been so very different...I may still waver but I'm strong and believe and know that I will continue to rise. I have but a single thought as I charge forth into the struggles and fires that once almost ruined and convinced me that I couldn’t withstand the fury of life: “Today, I become the storm...”
And, I believe that you can choose you, too. Oh, friend, you choose you! We are all significantly equipped to handle the problems of our own lives. You choose you! Choose your strengths and choose your weaknesses. Know yourself, grow yourself, forgive yourself and love yourself. Do you not like something? Change it. Have a weakness? Grow it. Have a dream? Follow it. Have a fear? Face it. Don’t waste your life wishing you had someone else’s problems. Don’t waste another day wishing you were living someone else’s life. Bite the bullet and build the life you want. Don’t waste another minute in denial, exhaustion, and fear. Choose you. Choose you to be the change you need!
My wish is that when asked “Who was Marion” that no one ever answers…
“She was who everyone thought she should be. She looked for the path of least resistance so she could people please and hope that everyone liked her rather than being a change agent in the world. She hid away and played it safe. She followed the rules and tried not to take up too much room.”
No, when asked who I was may others say…
“She was a fighter. She fought for the helpless and the weak. She fought to help others see the best in themselves and she fought for those who couldn’t see the best in themselves. She went to war against hard things and hard people and she never, ever forgot that she was the storm. She didn’t give away her power, but instead chose to use her power for good.”