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I Am Who I Am

Saturday, February 27, 2021

All my life, I’ve heard a lot of the same things...I’m a handful, I’m too much, I'm a misfit, you're weird, you're strange, I’m a lot to take in. Well, all I'll say to that is, “GOOD!”
I’m not trying to be memorable or stand out...I’m just a distinctive unique individual.

People that shine brighter catch the eyes of others because of who they are, not because they’re trying to. Some have tried telling me, tone it down, scale it back or be a little less me. So, I did what anyone should do when I hear that...I crank it up, of course.

My way of thinking, If they can’t handle me at my normal levels of amazing, what makes them think they can handle me at any other level? They can’t, they won’t and I don’t really give a flying flip. Yeah, I’m that one that everyone laughs at. It’s okay, I laugh at myself...a lot. I even snort when I laugh, I make weird faces when I don’t realize it, and I say hilariously off-the-wall things a lot of times. At least I think so.

Sure, I am more than a little weird and a bit awkward socially. I don't quite fit in and most people just simply don't get me and I know it. I’d tell you that I don’t mean to be awkward and strange, but that’s totally not true. I'm being real and to be honest, I think the world needs more of us who are brave enough to be real.

As far as personality and character, I love being the way I am and I won’t change for anything or anybody. With me, what you see is what you get. I may be ridiculous and weird sometimes, but at least I'll never be boring, will I?.

Yeah, you’ll never know what I’ll do or say, but that’s part of what makes me colourful and fun. I will never apologize for the walls you built when I am protecting myself. I'm not tearing down these walls for anyone ever again. You want to know me, what's inside, makes me tick? CLIMB. I no longer seek approval to be who I am or ask anyone’s permission for my personality characteristics.
I'm just who I am and I offer no apologies or regrets.

Sure, I may stick my foot in it by saying the wrong things; bang off the wall sometimes and I'm not the quietest one around. That's not to mean I don't have my quiet moments, but you’ll always know where you stand with me and what I think..however that plays out. There’s a lot of people pretending to be a lot of things to impress a lot of others who really don’t matter. I use to, but that's no longer me. What counts is what I think of myself and the love I have for myself and my people. I'll always be real, authentic and genuine and you can take me at my word on that...and not everyone can handle that. Oh well, that’s their problem. They're just S.O.L.
Asking me to tone it down is like asking a tornado not to be a natural phenomenon. So I think I’ll keep doing what I do best and be the best version of myself that I can be.

It’s hard sometimes to stay true to yourself in a world that’s in love with fake perfection, but I’m okay standing apart from the crowd. No matter what happens, you know I’ll always have your back and be there to help you pick up the pieces of life’s pain.
Sure, sometimes I’m confusing and a little different, so don’t feel bad...I don’t even know what I’m doing half the time myself. LOL, I just do what I do, which is show up, stand up and speak up..with the unique flavour that only I can provide.

It may not always be pretty, it may not always be put together, but at least I’ll always be true to myself. So, for all those people who tell me I’m “too much” or “a lot”, you’re right.
I am a lot of woman. I have a lot of depth. A lot of personality to handle. A lot of emotions. A lot of love. And, I have a lot of dreams, I love too much, I trust too much, I care too much and I live too much...if that’s even possible.
I’m a lot of all the things that matter - soul depth, down to earth, fun, loving and loyal...So, yeah, you're right I am a lot of great things. And nothing or no one will ever change that about me. I’m not asking for your permission to fly, I’m just going to keep spreading my wings and soaring as I've always meant to. Maybe one day, they’ll stop worrying about what I’m too much of and start appreciating me for the amazing person I am.

Until then, I’ll keep flying higher, loving harder and losing myself in the moments of my life. So, guess what? I’m that one friend that you know will tell you like it is and you can count on me to keep things interesting, down to earth and lively.
I may be one of a kind, but I’m brave enough to be real, loyal and true to my values and my people.
So, buckle up, buttercup, I’m always down for adventure...I want to go find some fun, and lose myself in some mischief. Today is for living, so let’s do some of that. Me and you, the wind in our hair and sun on our face.Two weirdos on a journey to fulfill our souls...Sounds pretty magical, if you ask me.

Beautiful eyes,
and a devilish grin
with a laugh as loud as thunder.

A heart that's on fire
with no end in sight
and a smirk that makes them wonder.

I have scars that are healing
but have a strong voice,
you could say, I'm on a mission.

I am who I am
and though I'm not happy with presently who I am,
I still don't need your flippin' permission.

I've been a part of Sparkspeople for a good number of years now and I've NEVER put myself out there like this. So, regardless of my present situation, I thought it about time people REALLY got to know who I am, what I'm like. Or I should say my true characteristics and personality that lies beneath all of what I'm going through right now.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You do put it out there! Happy you are comfortable doing that since your posts usually find "homes" with us.
    43 days ago
    Hay I always put my foot into it too. I can say the wrong thing at the wrong time and get yelled at.
    God made us all different so we would get to know each other. If we were all the same what kind of a world would it be?

    Good blog

    44 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    44 days ago
    AMEN! It's all about being the YOU you're meant to be. Good for you. The older I get the less and less opinions matter -- oh I listen, but I am most concerned with how I feel about things. I am most comfortable when I follow my gut. May not go along w/the crowd, but then again, never wanted to be a lemming that does just follows commands -- jump off the cliff -- nope -- not in MY plans!

    44 days ago
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