Maybe it's all about learning...

Once again, it's been ages since I've posted, much less logged in at all. I tend not to log in when I feel I'm "failing" as a proper Sparky Gal...the thing I'm starting to truly learn is that there is no such thing as failing. The only failure is when you stop trying, and even then, all you have to do is put the effort out and bingo -- failure be gone. I, like many people on these boards, am obsessed with perfection -- unless I make a conscious effort to satisfy myself with less, I'm not happy unless I do everything just right. That means I'm pretty much unhappy! Even if I put forth all my effort, life just isn't set up to be perfectly planned. This isn't to cover my butt for lack of planning, but rather to encourage myself (and anyone reading this) that the one thing that's ultimately important in all of this is that in each day that goes "wrong", there are potentially hundreds of lessons on how it can go right, and more often than not, it's adjusting our concept of what's right, rather than our behaviour.

I know myself well enough to know that living on a strict exercise and diet plan for any length of time will make me miserable. I get obsessed and my expectations of myself tend to get more and more insane as time goes on -- lesson learned? Don't set goals that inspire all or nothing behaviour -- more isn't always better. If the overall goal is health, one really needs to be honest with where s/he is at and set goals from there.

I know dramatic change can be inspiring, but for me, it just doesn't last. I'm starting to learn more about why I crave sweet things and want to crawl up in bed rather than exercise. I'm also learning that from time to time, I actually crave vegetables (shockingly) and junk doesn't appeal. My current theory is that by learning to listen to my body's natural rhythms and adapting to them, I'll be far more satisfied than if I force a routine on to it.

Now, of course, it would be very easy to say, "but my body just needed 10 chocolate bars..." but ultimately, I know that's not true. When I REALLY listen and set aside my expectations, my body tends to do a better job than my brain at nutritional planning.

All of this isn't to lay out any innovative new plan or miracle cure -- I just wanted to put my lessons down on paper (albeit electronically...) so that I can remind myself of them should I start to forget!

Interestingly, last night was the first strength training session I'd done in months and I gave cardio a good go as well. I felt grand for it and gave myself today off to recover. Small steps, but I know I'll get back to my previous fitness level if I let my body go at its own pace. Another side note -- I haven't weighed myself for ages. For now, I don't want that to be my measuring tool -- how I'm feeling is my primary motivation, so I'm letting that be my guide. I'm hoping to see clothes start fitting better soon, but for the extra energy I seem to have, I'm VERY grateful!

xx chrissie