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Getting Into My Head
Tuesday, August 27, 2019      8 comments

Today I talked to my therapist about my decision to have the Lap Band surgery. We went over the good, the bad, and the ugly. We also talked about how it will affect my mental health. He didn't feel like my mental health is really the issue at ha... Read more
The Surgeon Asked For My Why
Thursday, August 22, 2019      5 comments

Whenever you make a drastic decision to make a big change, there has to be a "why", whether it be a move or job change. The same comes with bariatric surgery. One of the first things the surgeon asked me yesterday is "what is your why", "w... Read more
Lap-Band: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
Thursday, August 22, 2019      2 comments

No, I'm not talking about the Clint Eastwood/Charles Bronson spaghetti western. I'm talking about my upcoming Lap-Band surgery and my continued research into it. I must give this caveat: I'm not going into it blindly. My best friend from hi... Read more
Step 2 Complete
Wednesday, August 21, 2019      9 comments

Well, step 2 is complete. I saw the bariatric surgeon this afternoon to discuss my options for weight-loss surgery. Well, let me just say that my surgery will be happening at the end of October. Between now and then, I need to start making chang... Read more
Step 1 Complete
Monday, August 19, 2019      5 comments

Today I took the first step toward weight loss surgery by attending the seminar and completing my initial paperwork. And yes, it has already been turned in. I'm scared and excited all at the same time. I don't know what to think at the moment, b... Read more
Drowning in Anxiety
Sunday, August 18, 2019      11 comments

I'm struggling today. I mean REALLY struggling. The kind of struggling where you feel frozen and unable to breath or move. Where the whole world seems like it is spinning out of control and you have no way to stop it. It's the type of struggling... Read more
Why Did I Stop?
Thursday, August 15, 2019      8 comments

When I joined SP 11 years ago, I tried to get on the elliptical machine and I could not get past 5 minutes without feeling like I was going to collapse. 4 years ago, I joined a fitness group where the instructor pushed me each day to push throug... Read more
11 Years: Has It Really Been That Long?
Wednesday, August 14, 2019      5 comments

emoticon It isn't quite my sparkversary just yet, but I thought I'd take a quick peak to see how long I've been on ... Read more
Starting Off Slow
Tuesday, August 13, 2019      6 comments

Don't let the title fool you. Yes, I'm starting off slow, but I'm starting off right. I'm taking things slow, but one step at a time. I'm making this a change at a time, in order to work on my habits and not making wholesale changes all at once.... Read more
Depression, Suicide, and Seeking Help
Saturday, August 10, 2019      10 comments

It has been 108 days since I last logged in. It was toward the beginning of May, around May 8th to be exact, since I last made my presence known on here. Shortly after that, I sank into a deep depression. One that actually caught me off guard. ... Read more
Is it possible to get a replacement?
Thursday, May 02, 2019      9 comments

I hate my back. I really do. And my weight isn't helping. For the last two weeks, I've not been sleeping, and it is all due to my lower back and legs. The pain is horrendous, and I'm at a loss for what to do? I know I need to increase my fitness... Read more
Restarting Point
Saturday, April 13, 2019      6 comments

I've been MIA. A lot has happened since I last logged in. For one: I changed jobs. My last one made making my health a priority an issue. So, I had to stop. But now I work in an industry where that is no longer an issue. In fact, it is enc... Read more
My Old Waling Buddy
Friday, January 04, 2019      13 comments

Sampson will be turning 14 on January 18th, which just happens to be my dad and late grandpa's birthdays. I honestly thought his walking days were over, as were mine, but I honestly think we've both had new life put back into us. Me with the chi... Read more
Rebuilding in 2019
Sunday, December 30, 2018      10 comments

I just need to get through today and tomorrow of this wretched year. Time to start with a clean slate and "rebuild". That is my word of 2019, and my goal for 2019. To rebuild from the ashes left from the past two years. ... Read more
I hate my meds...
Saturday, December 29, 2018      6 comments

By being bipolar, I have to be on antipsychotics that are notorious for causing weight gain, and unfortunately, one, Seroquel, is horrible. And it was raised again. And here I am, jumping from 264 back up to 267. Why can't I stop gaining? Why ca... Read more

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