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NIKKIB91's Blogs

The Big Picture: At the doctor's office
Tuesday, March 16, 2010      14 comments

What is up? Well here it is: At that meeting I got weighed (whoopie!) and measured, had to fill out a questionnaire about my symptoms. This was like a check "yes" or "no" and listed symptoms for depression, anxiety, bipolar, manic, and PTSD... Read more
::bends over and kicks self in butt::
Tuesday, February 09, 2010      12 comments

That is what I have had to do as of late because I must admit that for some reason, whatever reason that is, that I have just NOT been feeling this lately. I don't know if it's the new meds that the doctors have put me on due to the fact t... Read more
Defying Gravity
Wednesday, January 27, 2010      10 comments

Today this is how I am feeling. This song says it. I am defying gravity just by being here, on this SP journey. Something has changed and I don't want to ever go back to the person I was before all of this started. I am going to trust my instin... Read more
Is SparkPeople playing a trick on me?
Friday, January 22, 2010      21 comments

I think so. I woke up, wait I should rephrase that, I never actually fell asleep last night for many reasons, there's just some nights that I have too much going on in my head and it's hard for me to let it go because I over-think a lot of ... Read more
In the words of Michael Buble'
Wednesday, January 20, 2010      12 comments

Did I expect to lose any weight at my weigh in on the scale today? No. I was keeping my expectations low because I didn't want to get on the scale and feel like I failed, to know that I could have done more, and to have nothing happen, for the s... Read more
Today I cried
Friday, January 15, 2010      24 comments

After I finished my workout. I just broke down and bawled. Not bad tears, not sad tears, no, none of that for the first time in a long time I was crying HAPPY tears! Tears of joy and satisfaction and self-worth and loving! Happy because I ... Read more
One week ago today.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010      12 comments

I was supposed to be having surgery. Surgery that would help make my life easier, make me better able to do the things I want to do. I was supposed to have reduction surgery. I have waited almost 10 years to have this done, and the tim... Read more
A letter to me, Dear Self....
Monday, January 11, 2010      7 comments

I have been inspired by others on SP who have done the same, to write a note to myself about why, and what, and who I am on this journey for. Dear self, Remember when you started this journey, when you were so happy and so into doing w... Read more
Holy Cool Whip Batman!
Saturday, January 09, 2010      7 comments

I love Cool-Whip. Especially on my Sugar free jello cups. And to dip some fruit in. And.....most of all, to eat it directly right out of the container. Let's just say last night was the death of me when it came to the Cool-Whip. ... Read more
My Heart hurts a little today
Friday, January 08, 2010      10 comments

Because I just found out that my husband was put on academic probation at the college he is going to. This means if his grade don't improve in the next semester they will ask him to leave and he will have to reapply and have to start all over ag... Read more
Looking Back to Look Forward
Thursday, January 07, 2010      3 comments

So the last time I was writing here was back in November. I had every intention of coming back here everyday, and checking in with people again, and updating my page and my blog and being around all my SP buds ... Read more
Take a Sad Song and make it Better
Monday, November 09, 2009      4 comments

I have been away from this place for far to long. For the past month and a couple weeks I have been wallowing in my own dark place. I lost my job a little over a month ago, the job that I loved, and have not been able to get my butt in gear... Read more
This is my deepest fear
Tuesday, September 15, 2009      7 comments

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Ac... Read more
Sometimes When You Cry
Tuesday, August 11, 2009      19 comments

Sometimes... when you cry.... no one sees your tears. Sometimes... when you are in pain. no one sees your hurt. Sometimes.. when you are worried.. no one sees your stress So... Read more
It loves me after all....
Sunday, August 09, 2009      8 comments

My body that is. In a previous post I had stated that my body hated me and was revolting against me because I had yet to lose any weight in the 3 weeks that I had been on this new life journey with the help of SparkPeople. Well, I am final... Read more

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