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ZELDA13's Photo ZELDA13 SparkPoints: (100,429)
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6/25/17 11:21 P

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Sadly yes.

Alice

"I have not been placed on this earth to fit your mold or conform to what makes you feel more comfortable with my existence." Michelle Steinke

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


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DENRNAJ's Photo DENRNAJ SparkPoints: (142,088)
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6/25/17 5:41 A

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too many times to count! emoticon

Make it happen- just one step at a time!


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BRIAR150's Photo BRIAR150 Posts: 2,668
6/23/17 10:54 A

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yes



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PFELDER0923 Posts: 1
6/23/17 8:28 A

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Yes and it makes me feel like I am unacceptable.I am a stress eater so every time I hear your fat or your obese my stress goes up and so does my eating. Physical problems and hormonal imbalances have made me this way and finding my way through the maze of weight loss programs is just as frustrating because they don't consider these problems. I want to feel better about myself first then I feel the weight either won't matter or the weight loss will show better results and more lasting results.

CD17633179 Posts: 47
6/23/17 4:15 A

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Never to my face, but likely many times behind my back. It's not like I don't know I'm fat, so it doesn't really concern me what other people think/say.

97MONTY's Photo 97MONTY Posts: 13,006
6/20/17 8:17 P

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yes



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SUNSHINE99999 Posts: 30,940
6/20/17 10:28 A

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yes



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DELRIO1's Photo DELRIO1 Posts: 6,794
6/20/17 10:05 A

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yup



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FRENCHY73's Photo FRENCHY73 SparkPoints: (8,395)
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6/19/17 8:10 P

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Yes 🙁



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NIQUE50's Photo NIQUE50 Posts: 331
6/19/17 1:01 A

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Yes, in it hurts

It took me time to gain this weight and it will take time to get it off.

I can do it....

Nique, Alabama CDT....


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WALKERANT's Photo WALKERANT SparkPoints: (836)
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6/11/17 10:08 A

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Yes. First time it really hurt was February of 2016. Someone called me a fat bitch at a concert and it stung so badly.

"Take it one day at a time."


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SUITABLE's Photo SUITABLE Posts: 6,203
6/11/17 9:50 A

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No



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BOB5148 SparkPoints: (918,173)
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6/11/17 9:37 A

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Yes



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3SISTERS's Photo 3SISTERS Posts: 1,463
6/11/17 2:43 A

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yes



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CD14212757 Posts: 8,770
6/10/17 11:35 P

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LOISLEL's Photo LOISLEL Posts: 6,677
6/10/17 11:04 P

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Yes

Lois

South Carolina Eastern Standard

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
(Jeremiah 29:11-13 NKJV)


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MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 18,081
6/10/17 10:39 P

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I don't mind if my doctor tells me that I need to lose weight. I do and it's their job to see that I'm healthy.

My BP was borderline high. My doctor said that I was overweight. I could fix my blood pressure with diet and exercise.

I don't want a doctor to coddle me and tell me that I'm beautiful and healthy at every size. When it's obvious that I wasn't.

My latest YouTube vlog

youtu.be/qWd_v1w4RHk


DENRNAJ's Photo DENRNAJ SparkPoints: (142,088)
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6/10/17 10:10 P

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too many times to count

Make it happen- just one step at a time!


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HIKINGSD's Photo HIKINGSD Posts: 9,729
6/9/17 11:24 P

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yes



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TRYINGTOLOSE64's Photo TRYINGTOLOSE64 Posts: 93,051
6/9/17 7:21 A

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Too many times to count. Most recently I had a woman larger then me tell me that I wear at least the same size clothes as her when in fact I'm smaller then her. Not just in height either



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WINSTONSUZ's Photo WINSTONSUZ Posts: 6,192
6/8/17 11:54 P

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My doctor once wrote in prescription to take for bloodwork as the reason for the blood test " obese" and I was going for bp check up I was NOT happy!

Do what you have to to be happy in this life.....
(quote from Bridges of Madison County)

The animals have no voice but ours....
(motto of our animal shelter)

What have you done today to make yourself proud? (biggest loser)

NEW YEAR NEW RULES!



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SUITABLE's Photo SUITABLE Posts: 6,203
6/8/17 6:35 P

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Yes



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HAPPYCPA1965's Photo HAPPYCPA1965 SparkPoints: (516,330)
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6/8/17 6:04 P

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Yes, by my drill sergeants.



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OBIESMOM2's Photo OBIESMOM2 Posts: 15,803
6/8/17 5:52 P

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my response is usually, "I can lose weight, but you'll still be an a$$hole."

commenting on someone's weight...either way...is NOT acceptable. I saw a lot of skinny shaming here on Spark a few years ago via comments on one of the yoga / Pilates instructor's videos. Yes, she is very thin. But she is also very muscular. She is NOT unhealthy! And if you think she is, just try to do what she's doing.

I was SUPER skinny as a kid and as a young adult (5'7" 112 lbs). I was teased a LOT about being so thin.

I've been teased about being 'old' by younger co-workers.

The more I know people, the better I like my dogs! emoticon

The most handicapped person in the world is a negative thinker; a person who has the skills, abilities, talents and tools, yet chooses not to use them.
~Heather Whitestone

Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen


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MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 18,081
6/8/17 5:40 P

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Exactly calling someone fat. Doesn't help. If anything it has the opposite effect

My latest YouTube vlog

youtu.be/qWd_v1w4RHk


SDEECAL's Photo SDEECAL Posts: 273
6/6/17 8:20 P

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One time when we were alone, my brother in law said, "What happened to the beautiful girl my brother married." I knew too well what he meant. At first I was really hurt but then I thought about my brother-in-law's "faults" and there were many, so in comparison being overweight was no big deal. Now I'm obese so a lot of good his insult did me.

I read somewhere that nobody has ever been prompted to lose weight by being told they're fat. I think that's true. You can't bully someone into losing weight.

Edited by: SDEECAL at: 6/6/2017 (20:27)
Motivation gets you started. Habit keeps you going.


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JEFFGIRL's Photo JEFFGIRL Posts: 12,945
6/6/17 7:45 P

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Yes, but not recently.

FITWITHIN's Photo FITWITHIN Posts: 29,398
6/6/17 7:10 P

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Yes, many times thorough out my life.

Progress may be slow, but it happens!
No such thing as last place only finishers.


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THROOPER62's Photo THROOPER62 Posts: 60,015
6/6/17 6:00 P

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Yes, but I have also been told I am too thin

Edited by: THROOPER62 at: 6/6/2017 (18:01)
RIKKUPAINE's Photo RIKKUPAINE Posts: 3,889
6/6/17 4:16 P

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One time at school when the kids were singing happy birthday to me. I was only 11. I felt embarrassed and a little hurt because the person who added it to the song was a friend of mine.

Next time, I was 17. I'd asked a guy out and he talked about me with his friends. I overhead one of his friends call me fat, and that it was reason why he didn't want to date me.

I was hurt, but then had a little internal argument with myself. I had lots of excuses before realising and accepting I was fat. I started exercising that day and lost almost 100 lbs over five years. Unfortunately I regained and am losing again.

I'm not angry over that day. I'm grateful. I stopped denying I was fat and started losing weight. He did me a favour.

"For every dark night there is a brighter day..."


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MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 18,081
6/6/17 2:34 P

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I have been called fat. I was even called fat by some guy I was dating.

I remember. It was a few weeks after New Years. I had gotten up to 168 lbs.
I told this guy I was dating. That I had lost eight pounds. He said, when is it going to start to show? That really hurt.

I dumped him. A long, long time ago.

After that. I decided, that I am not going to give someone any power over me with their words.

My latest YouTube vlog

youtu.be/qWd_v1w4RHk


CD7438174 Posts: 5,221
6/6/17 2:13 P

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GIPPER1961's Photo GIPPER1961 Posts: 775
6/6/17 12:50 P

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I am a man and a husband and even though my wife and I are both over weight I would never call her fat. It just seems contemptuous to do that to someone you love.

It is not the mistake that causes the serious damage. It is the mistake that you make of defending the first mistake that causes it, Einstein


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MELISSAFTS's Photo MELISSAFTS SparkPoints: (1,082)
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6/6/17 12:40 P

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Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. I'm so sorry those people were so incredibly rude.

PS. Dany your cheeks are not chubby. Stop it

Edited by: MELISSAFTS at: 6/6/2017 (12:53)

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6/6/17 12:33 P

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I never complain about my weight emoticon -not to him



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ETHELMERZ's Photo ETHELMERZ Posts: 31,029
6/6/17 9:26 A

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Yes, but never by my husband of almost 50 years!

3SISTERS's Photo 3SISTERS Posts: 1,463
6/6/17 9:07 A

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yes



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LADYNIGHTSTORM's Photo LADYNIGHTSTORM SparkPoints: (0)
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6/6/17 9:03 A

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I have to say, I'm not fond of his tone the next day where you said he responded with: "well it only upsets you because it's true. do something about it or get over it." It just sounds purely self-righteous, and it really could have been said with more tact.

However, I suppose this depends on if you've been frequently complaining about your weight and he simply got snippy about it. You know your husband better than I do, but maybe you should mention that his attitude was a bit hurtful?

As far as personal fat stories go, I can recall three times that my weight was thrown at me. My brother called me fat when I was 9 (which I briefly cried about, then realized it was true), a random woman at the bus stop spat on me and called me a "fat wh*re", and some guys drove past me and screamed "PIG!" out the passenger window. emoticon Good thing I've never had self esteem...

Edited by: LADYNIGHTSTORM at: 6/6/2017 (09:03)
-- Mary --
Leicester, UK
goddess-within.me



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GOLFGMA's Photo GOLFGMA Posts: 33,316
6/6/17 6:45 A

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yes

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Phil 2:3-4.


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ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (231,797)
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6/6/17 5:39 A



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Some times, drinking too much alcohol can make people say dumb things they don't really mean. But is can also make us say things we are thinking.

NIRERIN is right. if you've been constantly complaining about your weight to your husband, he could have been fed up and said, yes, you're fat. If you've said this to yourself every day, why be surprized when your husband says it ?

I've been called fat plenty of times. The worst was when I was in high school. One of my classmates once shouted out... Archie, you're a fox, without the F. How do you think that made me feel ? At the time, I just laughed him off, ha ha. but inside, I was pretty miserable.

Hearing these comments hurt. but once again, say these things to yourself is pretty bad too. I will bet you've made worst comments to yourself than you've heard from your hubby.

Regarding his comment, my guess is that the alcohol was doing most of the talking that evening.

SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (341,901)
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6/6/17 4:59 A



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I've been called fat many times.

I remember one particular occasion while I was doing a computer course. There was a man there who was in his early 20's. He totally abused the sh*t out of me and told me that I was so fat that I didn't deserve to take up space on this earth (about 92kg then) and breathe the air that others deserved more - he then threw his coffee cup across the room and threw a chair. I might add it was as a result of my telling him that it was sick that he thought holding a person done and giving them paper cuts was neither acceptable or funny. The outcome was that he was expelled from the course. I didn't let it bother me. It was HIS problem, not mine.

My husband never told me I was fat.

I wouldn't be bothered if I was called fat in the context that you gave re your husband, however if he said it in a nasty way, and it was the effects of his drinking, then the problem lies with his use of alcohol.

Kris

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
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I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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MADDOG193's Photo MADDOG193 Posts: 45
6/6/17 1:55 A

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I think NIRERIN said it perfectly.

CD7438174 Posts: 5,221
6/6/17 1:32 A

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SHERYLDS's Photo SHERYLDS Posts: 18,314
6/5/17 10:47 P

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Have I ever been called fat?....let me count the ways.
To put things in context, I am 5'11" and I weighed about 210 at the time. A relative came to see an apartment I had moved into and told me the tub was too small for me. This same person also told me the recliner was too small for me.

A friend who is obsessed with weight would occasionally leave me flyers for weight loss programs under my windshield wipers. But when she went to a family celebration and her cousin warned her to be careful around the desert buffet, she was insulted. She whined about it for days afterwards.

Consider the source and ignore the idiots, Some people are totally insensitive when it comes to others...yet hypersensitive when you return a barb. It's just not worth the banter.

Sheryl, New Jersey EST, 5% Challenge-TEDDY BEARS


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LADYSTARWIND's Photo LADYSTARWIND Posts: 5,715
6/5/17 9:52 P

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Yes...but mostly in good natured inter-play with my ex. We were both aware we needed to lose weight...and were taking steps to do so,.so it was no big deal....just an acknowledgement of the reality we were at.

In your situation, I would find it difficult to take offense, since alcohol can make the kindest most loving person say *Really* Stupid* Things*. And, being overweight is part of your reality I'm guessing, or you wouldn't be here on Spark?! So Be Proud of the fact you ARE focusing on changing yourself. Its not where you've been that is the most important part of Life...but where you are going! All the best,
patti

Patti
"The only thing we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf: Lord of the Rings


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JANIEWWJD's Photo JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (876,789)
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6/5/17 8:01 P

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no

Janie Garcia Moreno

"WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE"

"PRAYER CHANGES THINGS"

"NEVER PUT A QUESTION MARK WHERE GOD HAS PUT A PERIOD!"

"WHAT THE MIND CAN CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE, IT CAN ACHIEVE!"


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NIRERIN Posts: 14,765
6/5/17 6:35 P

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You really have to look at his behavior as a whole to determine where you are. A. Your husband is kind of a jerk and has been saying everything negative that he can right up to the fat line and that comment was the icing on the cake. B. Your husband is blunt and lacks some tact, but knows that you are overweight and there is not anything to be gained by pointing it out. So him stating that you are fat is the same as stating that your couch is blue. It is not ill intentioned but it is what it is. C. Have you been complaining about your size and this is some bit of reverse psychology?

-google first. ask questions later.

PEGGY-BEE's Photo PEGGY-BEE Posts: 16,830
6/5/17 6:18 P

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I've been married twice.
If my current husband did that, I wouldn't be bothered as he is clueless about what upsets women, like yours he would have forgotten the incident the next day. If he sees I'm upset when I mention something, he will often think about it and sometimes apologize.
When my first husband did tell me I was fat it was on purpose and when I mentioned it upset me he was ready to defend his statement with examples. When I lost 20 pounds during our separation he was all set on us getting back together.

My current husband has so many good features that his being clueless is not worth any heartache for me, I just tell myself "he doesn't hear what he's saying but I know how much he loves me", "he's not trying to hurt me"

Marbea
Pacific time zone
Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.

MELISSAFTS's Photo MELISSAFTS SparkPoints: (1,082)
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6/5/17 5:59 P

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yesterday while drinking, my husband called me fat and it really hurt my feelings

When I called him on it the next day (he didn't even remember saying it), he was just like, "well it only upsets you because it's true. do something about it or get over it."

I don't think he meant to hurt my feelings when he said it the first time. It just popped out after I mentioned that if I have too many drinks, I'm gonna get fat
(then he was like, "you're already fat) and didn't expect me to get upset about it

should I take this to heart or
am I being too sensitive?



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