our attitude towards food developed over years and it's hard to let go of bad habits. A lot of us connect food with rewards, comfort, and socializing. during stressful situations it takes the edge off.
In many ways it's a security blanket from facing things we aren't sure we want to deal with.
Sheryl, New Jersey EST, 5% Challenge-TEDDY BEARS
Pounds lost: 4.0
Fitness Minutes: (5,430)
1,053 7/8/19 12:31 P
I wish I knew - so self defeating. Need to remember that its a choice I make and not out of my control. I can do this.
1. You are entirely up to you. Make your body, make your life. 2. If you are tired of starting over, stop giving up! 3. It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. 4. The Dalai Lama: "One brings failure on oneself by working extremely hard at the beginning, attempting to do too much, and then giving it all up after a short time. A constant stream of moderate effort is needed."
Pounds lost: 12.3
Fitness Minutes: (387,398)
7/5/19 11:41 A
Fear....fear of not being able to really lose the weight this time, fear of people commenting on my body, fear of what could be if I gave it full effort.......anger about being deprived of what I think everyone else is having and enjoying
I agree with all the responses. I would like to think I don't self sabotage and most of the time it is all the other things, but sometimes it is self sabotage for me. I punish myself by going to emotional eating. And it is a vicious circle -- but I do come out of it. In a good spot now and staying with that.
I'm another one who doesn't see it as "self sabotage" for the vast majority of people (it IS for a minority who suffer from disordered eating).
I personally think that the majority of folks are not aware of just how much of their lives basically runs on "autopilot" - and HAS to do so purely because there is too much input and too many demands on our time and energy for us to pay conscious attention to everything. Since it is a part of our basic survival, our minds are set up to put "eating" in to the "autopilot" mode as much as "breathing" is.
We have spent our lifetimes learning our "autopilot eating program", and it runs quite nicely in the background while we focus on school and work and family and all of the demands of our daily lives. Those of us on here reached a point where we realized that our "autopilot eating program" wasn't the healthiest set of choices, and so are now in the position of having to both unlearn our "default", and also learn a whole new approach. Instead of "autopilot" responses, we're trying to consistently force our overworked and overstimulated minds to pay attention to each eating situation and make different conscious choices.
That is a whole lot of extra work that we're now asking our minds to do! Is it really any wonder why most of us have times, whether it be a single meal or a day or a week, where we are tired and busy and stressed and just don't have the extra energy and focus to devote to making conscious healthier choices instead of just hitting "default"?
I think that this is the reason why so many of those with long-term success did the slow approach, making one small change at a time, and letting it settle in to being "default" before making another change. It is also the reason why things like batch-cooking and menu planning can be so helpful for the first months and years of making the change, since they take away the extra "choice times" and allow eating to run on "autopilot" for much of the time.
My perspective is that it is the emotional reaction (or even over-reaction) to a quite normal episode of reverting to "default autopilot" that is the issue, not the food or activity choices themselves. Realistically, a week or two of reverting back to old habits is going to be a very minor blip in a year or two of eating new and healthier choices, so it should be examined for cause (often - trying too hard to be perfect and trying to make far too many massive changes at once) and then changes made to make it easier to continue with healthier choices with less stress.
Sir Terry Pratchett: "Science is not about building a body of known 'facts'. It is a method for asking awkward questions and subjecting them to a reality-check, thus avoiding the human tendency to believe whatever makes us feel good."
I don't think it is self sabotage so much as failing to realize that everything that we do, we do because we have determined that that choice is the best choice for the resources that we have. People who eat Pop-Tarts for breakfast do so because over the years they have built up a lot of reasons why this is the best choice for them. Pop-Tarts are cheap, require little to no preparation, they're easily portable and they don't spoil. Sure, you can decide that you're going to have eggs instead, but then you have to buy eggs, keep tabs on how many eggs you have versus how many you use, you have to keep them refrigerated and they spoil. Eating raw eggs isn't really an option for most people, which means you have to cook eggs, which means you have to have egg recipes that you like. Having an egg recipe that you like often means having more perishable ingredients that you have to keep on hand and track of and if you don't then the cheapness is outweighed by spoilage. You can make eggs more grab and go (by hard boiling or quiche for example), but they are nowhere near as convenient as a Pop-Tart. All this cooking is going to require more of your time and possibly more kitchen utensils. And this is just one thing. It can take six weeks to change just one habit. If I told you that you had to run to a Post Office three miles out of your way every day between four and six, you could probably manage to do just that one thing, until some bit of life happened, in which case you would forget about the new thing and go back to what you did before. When you change everything at once, and you're not one of the rare people who can turn on a dime (we're talking maybe 1-2% of the population here), you can plow through just about anything in the short term, but it doesn't really do anything against what you were doing in the first place. Think of Lent. People can pretty easily give up something for Lent and head right back to what they were doing before. Being able to do thirty things in the short term doesn't matter much when you compare it to the long term. Your body is the end result of the balance of your intake and your output over time. So if you burn 2000 cals a day, that means you burn 730,000 cals per year. Eating 1400 cals a day for three months (90 days to make the math easy on me) is 126,000 cals. If you were eating 2000 cals a day If you ate 2000 cals the other 275 days of the year that would mean your yearly total would be 676,000 cals a year, which would mean you'd lose about 15.5 lbs that year. If you ate 3000 cals those other 275 days of the year you would gain 63 lbs that year. The short term just doesn't balance out what you usually do, which means that what you have to do is change what you do, which is nearly impossible for most people to cover everything in one fell swoop. You have to give yourself time and to make sustainable changes that you build up to revert to.
-google first. ask questions later.
Fitness Minutes: (44,596)
4/22/18 5:20 P
It takes a lot of effort to retrain my brain, and that is exactly what I have to do to become healthy. I have to LEARN to choose healthy foods first. I have to learn to let go of what is making me unhealthy. I have to learn to exercise regularly.
I am changing habits that have been lifelong, and that takes time. I have to make choices that are different from the choices I have made my entire adult life. That's a big deal, and it doesn't happen overnight.
I have been learning to live a healthy life since Nov. 2008. I still fall of the wagon every once in a while. That's not shameful, to me it's just being a human being. No reason to beat myself up. (That's a new way of thinking for me too.)
It's a journey, it takes a lot of work and commitment. But ,boy, oh, boy, is it ever worth it!!!
Give yourself a break. You are in the very beginning of your journey. Take note of what tripped you up, and move forward.
Dream BIG...Work HARD
And now abide Faith, Hope, Love, these three; but the greatest of these is Love. 1 Corinthians 13:13
STEVENKIND I kind of chuckled when I read your comment about "lazy, loathing, easier...". It is so politically correct today to shun people who call overweight people "lazy". However, I know you weren't calling people lazy. You were saying opting out of the process as being lazy. I think you are so right. For me, I have been so regimented and fearlessly on point from everything to counting every calorie to planning meals weeks ahead, it has gotten to the point I am freaking myself out. Seriously, this past week I just wanted a break. I wanted to be lazy and make my life easier, so I ordered a pizza. LOL LOL LOL Thanks for being honest. :-)
We do this because we are not satisfied! No matter how healthy we eat and exercise and do what experts tell us to do, if we are not satisfied , it matters not.....there is a lot more involved with overeating. We get more satisfaction from overeating than we get from any lover, religion, occupation, family or friends, comfort or security. It’s mental.
Some people use 'food' as their drug of choice. Indulgeing in too much or eating 'junk' foods has a physiological effect on the brain. Some people use 'food' as an anesthetic because they don't want to deal with their feelings or with a situation...it's like stress relief.
Some people don't want to give up the 'foods' they like...if we don't develop good eating habits and change our ways of dealing with food, then we will go back to the very same actions that got us heavy in the first place.
Some people stick with an 'all or nothing' attitude, almost as an excuse. It's a lot like writing a letter and making a spelling mistake. Instead of just erasing the error, they rip up the entire thing. There is nothing wrong with changing to a strategy that works for you, it's just a matter of using common sense. Living a healthy lifestyle is a learning process that keeps changing and developing with time. It changes because WE decide to make better choices, or we find out new info on nutrition, or our healthy needs change, or we hit a plateau and need to try a different method. Some people claim they are afraid of what success might bring to them. I can't speak to that...it's not part of my mindset.
I think the ultimate lesson is that the choice is OURS. Even when we blame someone else for sabotaging us...We make the choices. The problem is that when WE are the ones who sabotage ourselves...we have to face the fact that we are choosing to fail.
Like so many of us, I am so guilty of self sabotage. I started my new health regime 2 1/2 months ago. I couldn't be happier. I have lost weight; I feel great; I notice major differences in my body. Then, this past week I did everything imaginable to squash my own success. I know I am not alone. Why do you think we do this??????????????