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GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 3,985
12/5/19 7:49 A

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oh living in apartments -- I don't like living in them but don't like a house either because I have to clean them.

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
12/4/19 1:02 P

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DEC 4 2019 NOON

Well I am not having a good day. I have a new neighbor in the apt. next to me and he is a chain smoker while smoke makes me sick. It comes thru the ventilation. We also have very little privacy out the front doors and he likes to go out on the porch and hang there in front of my glass door and look in my apt. This morning I told him not to do that and not in a friendly way. God must have some purpose for this neighbor in my life. I knew this would happen here. It is not a non smoking complex and not as strict a place as the last one. It is difficult to find good housing in HUD but you do your best.

This old man has obviously had a bad life. He is very timid and apologetic. We will learn to get along. He obviously has no idea how to act in a place like this. He is an old Arkansas country boy. He is outside right now and the lady from the apt next to me has just come over to talk to him and she raised her voice. I do not know what she said to him but it was probably something similar to what I said. He has been walking down the sidewalk as well as standing on our porch, invading other people's privacy all down the line no doubt. Well he is timid and hopefully he will learn.

I wish I did not have such a temper but I do. I wish I were more tolerant and calm all the time but when people invade my privacy I get very unhappy quickly. I have been praying for this man, tho. God will work it out.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 3,985
12/3/19 6:23 A

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have never listed to a pod cast . need to figure out how to do that. I hate moving. My exercise routine is disrupted due to my work schedule but it will get done

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
12/2/19 2:01 P

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DEC 2 2019 NOON

Well I had a nice thanksgiving with my loved ones. That was really nice. I do not get to be with them on holidays very often, but now that I have moved near them, it will be different .Life is much better living here near them . My fitness program went kerplunk, however, but still I weighed at the end of the month and I have lost 4 lbs in Nov, the second month of my fitness program, after losing 8 lb the first month . So I am very pleased with that. Considering it contained an eating holiday, that is good. December will be a challenge with christmas eating, but I hope to keep losing at a reasonable rate. The holidays are disrupting my schedule. Right before that, I moved, and that disrupted my schedule. There is always something to disrupt the schedule. It seems not one month goes by that it is not disrupted by something like that .I am coming to accept that. It's life! There is always something to disrupt my perfect schedule. I cannot depend on daily perfection. Disruptions are part of life. I just get up and get going again. The question is, how quickly do I recover from a disruption, and how much can I mitigate the disruption? Reinforcing my fitness habits over time will help me to sail thru changes without interrupting my whole life. I need to get a bit more disciplined and not allow outside things to upset my routines as much. I am a person who really needs routine.It is good to know yourself. I think I may work on keeping my healthy routines thru things like holidays and other changes. A bit more disciple, perhaps, and mindfulness. I can't just let life knock me around.

I work at home, and I have yet to re-establish a work routine after my move here a month ago. Before the move, work was disrupted for packing, and before that, for other things. That has to end. I have ordered a headset (earphones and microphone) for recording podcasts for my re-newed internet radio show. I am planning on taking up my work thru the radio again. It will help to connect me with other people. I am really looking forward to it.





We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 3,985
11/25/19 7:33 P

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getting a good night's sleep is extremely important in losing weight. Measuring food is just as important as is writing down what you eat.

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
11/25/19 2:28 P

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I had a big lunch again but OK! I walked a little afterward. I am learning how to measure and estimate my calories. It will take practice. It is better to have a big lunch than a big dinner .

Earlier is better, I am finding on a daily basis. Early to get up, eat, bathe, ...do everything

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
11/25/19 9:55 A

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NOV 25 MONDAY 8:30 am

Had a good night's sleep! That is so helpful. I took a nice 45 minute walk yesterday evening, checking out my new neighborhood some more. Nice place.I like it here much better than the last town I was living in. I don't like a city.

Tomorrow my granddaughter will come to stay with me for the day, as she is off school for the holiday but her mom works. And Wed I go to their house for more of the same, and stay over for Thanksgiving. I am meeting my granddaughter's friends this week. I love kids but I have been isolated so long--I am nervous somehow! But it will be great for me. Back in the land of the living. I have waited a long time to settle near my daughter, and she has waited too while she changed jobs and moved around. So we are very happy to be reunited in the same community at last.

Lonliness has been a problem lately but this week will kick out some of that!

I walked to my daughter's office and met her colleagues last week--that was a big deal emotionally as I have been so isolated from people so long--but it was good. I have had it with isolation, but I am finding it is a little bit hard to come out of it. Isolation and overeating is really a whole lifestyle. I don't know exactly how I fell into it, but I did. And I did it till it hurt. I think I needed a long period of recovery time from some earlier trauma. and I needed closure on some issues, and I got it thru that long isolation.

I have been eating freely for two days and now I must get disciplined. I can lose pounds this week even tho it is Thanksgiving. One large meal won't interfere. I have the spark solution book and I will start the plan today. It is a two week plan.

I am intermittently dealing with some depressed thoughts, and I am giving them to God and taking medicine, and it works. I am grateful.

On this fitness program I am learning that I have to choose to be happy. That makes a big difference. Unhappiness can be a habit. Fitness is an entirely different way to live than obesity. And I have to make mental choices all day long and everyday. I CAN do this. And I AM doing it. And it's great. Every little step forward feels good.





We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 3,985
11/24/19 8:33 A

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weight fluctuates from day to day -- too much salt, sodium, etc. don't worry about a small gain

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
11/24/19 5:08 A

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NOV 24 2019 Sunday 3:30 AM

I am up facing my demons. Last evening I got ready for bed at 4:30 PM. I stood in my new apartment and emptiness hit me. I took some med for depression and cozied up in my recliner and watched TV--and ate. I just wanted to feel safe and secure .

My diet can recover from that eating. And I must recover from the emptiness.It will take some time to rebuild a life here in this new place, but that is my job.

I woke up as I sometimes do realizing how and why I have done certain things in the past, and it is hard to face. After dreaming I often wake with self realization or self awareness I did not have before. Things that were hidden from me. I suppose when we are ready to see things about ourselves, we see them. At first they are hard to face and make me despair, but after a little while thinking about it, I get some perspective.

I am having trouble walking with the arthritis damage I did during the move . A lot of stress on my joints. And then I overexercised this week and now I am paying for it. I took a long walk and it turned out to be too long. But I wanted to get out of the house.

The scale will climb today, but I can compensate for that this week and make my weight goal by Nov 30. I am close. I will do well to just make it since I moved this month and it took so much out of me. I am 67 and obese. I am doing fine.

Sometimes it is hard to face my shortcomings or disadvantages, but other people have shortcomings and disadvantages, too. This is life. I watch a lot of foreign films, and I like the French culture. They accept people with less criticism and judgement than we do in America. They seem to know that life makes you neurotic, and they celebrate it.

I have to learn to stop judging myself so hard and to stop expecting life to be perfect. I have to become more accepting of things as they are.

Once my daughter told me that her friend who was losing weight with Yoga said that as she lost weight, memories and emotional issues came to her. It's like she was peeling back all the buried stuff, buried by eating and stored in fat.Those things can be disturbing, but I have always wanted to face the truth. Sometimes it breaks your heart. But you go on.





We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
11/23/19 10:03 A

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NOVEMBER 23 2019 SATURDAY 8:30 am

Good morning! The scale is registering 221.5 lb this morning! YAY ME. My close monitoring of my eating yesterday worked!

Gwyn I am really glad your doctor will help you with an eating plan. My doctor won't do that. When I talk to him about my weight, he just looks blank and says nothing. So I have to do it myself. But I have spark to help me.

I am 1.5 lb from my November goal. So I have one week to lose 1.5 lb and hold it there. I will be so happy when I can report 220 lb on the scale! That will be 15 lb lost from where I started just 2 months ago. I am going for 8 lb a month and I am very pleased with it.

It seems slow now, and I do not see big changes in myself yet in the mirror and so forth, but it will come. Time is my friend!

At this point in my life, the biggest reason I have to lose weight is my arthritis. It is getting so bad with this obesity that I have difficulty walking. I do not want to end up in a wheel chair, but I am headed for it and not before long if I do not lose weight now. It is so weird when I used to be a dancer. I want that body back! I want my body back and my identity back! I cannot get younger, but I can get thin and fit. I know that my face will look older when I lose all the weight. I can see it on others. I am 67 and I am prepared for that.

Today I will see my daughter and granddaughter and go to their house to visit and see her new sofa. We will move some large items from my house to her shed to be stored. So I will pass up my walking exercise today. I have pushed it a little past my limit anyway. That is something I have to watch. I tend to overdo something when I do it. Moderation makes me impatient!

Edited by: SARAHPPP at: 11/23/2019 (10:06)
We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 3,985
11/23/19 8:56 A

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I have been exercising for about 15 - 20 years. I even exercise when hubby and I go out of town. I have found it to be very help full

My doctor and I are going to come up with a plan to help me with eating



SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
11/22/19 2:05 P

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NOVEMBER 22 FRIDAY 2019 1 PM

OK this is my after lunch journal! My daughter came over and she brought bbq ribs for lunch! I cooked mashed potatoes and fried zucchini and corn to go with it. If I had cut all my portions in half I would have been fine but I forgot! The ribs make me forget! I love ribs. So I took in over a thousand calories for lunch! I added it up afterward and could not believe it! I am using smaller plates for lunch but that is not enough.

I am still under my total allotment for the day, however, and this was the big meal of the day. I will allow myself 100 calories at snack time this evening and skip supper. I will time the snack no later than 7 PM. That should allow me to be hungry enough for breakfast tomorrow and not make me gain any weight for the morning scale. I walked a little this morning in the nice wet cool refreshing November air and burned a few calories and more importantly exercised my body a little and got some fresh air. I might walk a little now, after lunch. That is a good idea. After the marathon walk yesterday I can only do a little today, but two moderate walks is very good in one day.

I am too full right now, more than I like to be, but it will subside and the walk will help. My arthritis is doing well today. I hope to drop at least one more pound tomorrow morning. I will think about that tonite when I eat my last meal. Maybe a banana would make a good evening meal for me today.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
11/22/19 11:13 A

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NOVEMBER 22 2019 FRIDAY 9:30 AM

The scale registers 4 lb lower than yesterday! YAY. I walked a good two hours yesterday and that did it. I also cut down my calories yesterday by watching my portions.
At 1300 calories for the whole day, I still ate more than I would have liked to, but I added the calories AFTER i ate at lunch and did not realize how high in calories my sandwich was until after I ate it. I am learning that is too late! My lunch added up to 7 or 8 hundred calories! No wonder I felt so full! But I was very hungry due to the long walk in the morning. I will get these things regulated day by day. Now I know I must eat half of that sandwich. It is healthy and delicious, but healthy things can be rather high in calories too, such as good bread.

I am working out my daily schedule since I have moved here. I see my daughter now almost daily and in fact she comes over for lunch most days. So I have to work that in, and re-establish exercise and sparking. I have added sparking to my morning activities. Being able to share my life here on this journal does a lot for me. I can't do this alone! I have lived an isolated disabled life a long time, and it has ended up in obesity and lonliness. I have had enough of that.

I was really happy to learn that I am physically capable of walking all the way downtown from my apartment. I cannot walk back, however, as it is uphill and a fairly long walk. My daughter works downtown and if I time my walk right, I can arrive at her office at noon and she can take me home. Then we can have lunch. I may make that a routine. My arthritic knee and ankle held up for the walk and do not hurt today. I wrapped them to give them support while i walked. I keep my leg elevated at home and the knee seems to be healing slowly when I do that.

I am guarding my health by drinking orange juice. The weather is very wet and a bit cold, and I started to feel a sore throat yesterday evening. So I drank hot tea and orange juice. One thing I do not agree with the experts today is that fruit juice is bad for you. I do not agree with that. They are concerned about the sugar level, but the vitamins are so important and so good for you, that I am not concerned about the sugar. I am not diabetic thank heavens. I do not take in much sugar in my regular diet and I find that I have to get some sugar somewhere, otherwise I get run down and tired and depressed. Sugar give a natural lift and if it is fructose it is in a good form. Drinking fruit juice is so much better than drinking soda. I find that a small amount of fruit juice will satisfy a desire for sugar, and it is fortified with all that vitamin C. I avoided the sore throat last night with a few small glasses of orange juice. Sometimes I crush vitamin C tablets and add them to my orange juice when I feel a cold coming on. If I blend it in a blender, it gets frothy and tastes like a delicious soda drink. If you have a sore throat and drink this, you can feel the infection recede with every swallow. I do not pay attention to fads in medicine or food or health. I use my common sense. They are always coming up with some silly new idea and everybody jumps on the bandwagon, even the doctors. Then years later, they will abandon that idea or say something opposite. I am 67 and I have seen this come and go. You have to use your own common sense and stick with the things that work.

Gwyn, I am proud for you that you exercise 4-6 times a week! You seem to have that down very well. I see that food is your nemesis, perhaps snacking. One thing I do is to guard against my own weaknesses by planning for them. I do not expect to eliminate them. That is not going to happen. So I counteract them by for instance planning some low calorie snacks and having them in place to substitute for the high calorie ones. They have to taste good and they have to be convenient and easy to reach. I am relying on popcorn as a snack especially at night and I think it has helped. I want to eliminate my night eating, but when I get hungry at night I can go into mania and not sleep all night unless I eat. That is the bipolar condition complicating my eating. So what I need to do is to time my dinner so I go to bed not hungry, and fall asleep soon so I don't have time to get hungry after going to bed. I may go to bed early but stay awake a long time reading or writing a letter. If I stay awake too long, I will get hungry and that scares me that I will go into mania and not sleep all night. That can throw my whole schedule off for weeks. So it takes a lot of planning and daily monitoring.

Being at home, not going to a job outside the house, is a challenge. You have to create a healthy activity and sleep routine that resembles a normal working routine for regular people. After 20 years at home I have created work for myself. I am a writer. But I always have to create a new project when the last one is done. It is best to have regulated hours during the day when I work. During those hours I can do anything related to my work. This is really important psychologically for me, and in addition, I accomplish things of which I can be proud. I am self published and have 15 books on the market. They do not sell, but they are there and I am proud of them. Making money is not my priority. I tried for a while, but it is very difficult to become successful as a self published author. But there are so many people on the net who create work or hobbies or skills online and become very good at them, and they are proud of their work and respected by others who engage in that kind of work, too. I have always thought about non profit work and have often done volunteer work of different kinds. I am thinking about creating a non profit business still.

Well I will get on to my morning schedule now. I will skip breakfast because I did eat late last night, but I did measure that food, so it did not prevent me from dropping pounds on the scale this morning. Measureing and counting calories is really effective for me. I have discovered that I am taking in far more calories than I realize, and just becoming aware of that is helping a lot.

Hope you have a nice day, all!






We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 3,985
11/22/19 7:10 A

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I exercise 4-6 times a week. I don't have "rules" as much as I write about what I want. I also believe in the law of attraction and the laws of cause and affect. What you send out to the world comes back to you 7 times.

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
11/21/19 12:58 P

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NOVEMBER 21 THURSDAY noon

OK I took a long walk down hill all the way to downtown and stopped by my daughter's office! She gave me a ride back home. But first I had a look around downtown in this little rural town which has three second hand shops downtown, an old stone court house, and a few little businesses. It is a cute town . I met all my daughter's colleagues and they are a very nice bunch of people at a family business. I also went shopping at the Methodist thrift store and bought some treasures at great prices.

My daughter gave me a cup of hot tea while I was there but I have had no other calories today. I am not on a schedule to eat breakfast yet, but I hope to be soon, as soon as I stop my night eating, which I hope will be tonite.

I will fix lunch now and try to eat half portions. Small portions is just a habit like everything else, and has to be cultivated . Before I can reinforce the habit, I have to start! Starting is the hard part. But I have started and restarted half portions several times in the last 2 months so It won't take so long to get it going again.

It feels so great to have a light stomach, not a heavy one! I can always have a snack or another portion later if I am hungry and need it.

I burned a lot of calories I do not usually burn today, and got great exercise. I walked much further than I planned to. Now I am ready for a half portion lunch and a rest. I will watch my show on TV now that I have internet, Endeavour. I may log on and post again today. It helps to stay very close to my program when establishing it.

Hope everyone is having a very nice day.



We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
11/21/19 9:52 A

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NOVEMBER 21, 2019 THURSDAY 8:30 am

Hi Gwyn, I am glad your weight is holding! I hit 221 this month too, but have gained back in the week since then, today at 227. I have been engaging in night eating this week. I need to regulate the times I eat meals. I am having to re-establish my daily schedule since I moved. But I am up in the morning and that is a good start.

I got out of bed without depression or daydreaming about sad things this morning! That is a bad early morning habit of mine. I will try to break it. I will tell myself I will assign myself a daydream time later or I will allow myself to think about those things later during prayer, when I have God to monitor my thoughts. That is a good idea.

I have some chips and cheetos in the house that I have overeaten at night twice this week, and so they went in the garbage this morning. I have a rule that if I overeat something twice, it goes in the garbage.

Rules really help me . I have made rules all my adult life for myself, and it works for me. I keep a running list of rules or suggestions about my fitness program. I did this years ago when I lost 53 lb, and I am doing it now. I re-read that list when I get unsteady in my program and it helps give me an idea to get back on course. And I usually write in a new one. Everytime I solve an eating or exercise issue, I write down on this list how I solved it. Then I can learn from my mistakes and lessons and alter my behavior.

I will write down this new one about saving my sad life review in the early morning for prayer time instead of allowing it to keep me in bed and make me depressed in the morning. I am bipolar and depression is a daily factor for me to monitor, so it is definitely one of my issues I have to monitor for my fitness program. My obesity was caused by my bipolar condition and the meds I had to take for it, and my condition makes it difficult to lose weight, but not impossible if I commit for the long haul. I am committed to a one year fitness program to lose 100 lb. at 8 lb a month, average. I started in late September and since then have lost 10 pounds. So I am on track.

I have arthritis now that is seriously compromising how much I can walk. I have been in the house in a recliner letting my knee heal after the pressure I put on it with the move, lifting heavy boxes. I am already putting 100 lb of pressure on that arthritic knee and all my joints because I am overweight .I should have known I would damage my joints with all that lifting but I didn't. Now I know.

There is only one real solution to my arthritis at this point and that is to lose a serious amount of weight. Otherwise, it does not heal. It just ebbs and flows.

I will try a little walking outside today and see how I do. If I wrap the joints, it is easier on them.

I will also try to cut my portions in half today and not eat after I go to bed. We will see how that does.

It is raining outside, a nice fall day. Typical Arkansas winter weather, really, not cold, but wet.

My daughter has been coming by to have lunch with me on her noon hour and that is really nice. She took me to a coffee shop for lunch yesterday. It was good to get out. I do not have transportation and am stuck up on this hill unless she comes to get me! This is a rural town and there is no public transportation at all. But it is a small town and if I can walk, I can get around. But I am at the point where I have to give myself walking therapy to work up to that again. I used to be a great walker and rode a bike . If I can lose this 100 lb, I do not see why I cannot ride a bike again. But perhaps not in this neighborhood. It is very hilly!

Wishing all who read this a very happy day. Don't give up! Keep sparking and working on your program daily. It is daily efforts over a long period of time that will achieve big goals.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 3,985
11/19/19 6:16 A

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my weight is holding steady at 221. I am studying things to switch up my diet to get my diet moving again

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
11/18/19 6:08 P

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NOVEMBER 18, 2019 MONDAY

Hello I am back after the move! I got my internet back today and what a relief! It feels like I can breathe again. I really need this spark journal! it connects me with others at spark and I do not want to be alone. I need community.

I am holding at 225, which is ten pounds below where I started at 235 in Sept, and I am pleased. The move has interfered in my fitness program this month, tho. But I still have nearly two weeks to make my weight loss goal for this month, which is to get to 220 lb. Today I weighed at 223, so I am very close .

Being stuck alone in this new apartment without transportation except for my daughter was getting to me today as she stood me up for a lunch date at my house and left me sitting here with the food. I am sensitive these days since the move wore me out so much. So I started eating all her lunch as well as my own and cookies besides! I was just really starting to go overboard when there was a knock on the door and the internet guy came in! That stopped my eating. Thank the good lord! A sign from heaven, and I little help I think! Isolation is bad for the eating plan.

I got into my new Sparkpeople Cookbook today and made a chicken salad similar to one in the cookbook. That was great. I am back to counting calories, which always makes such a difference. I will try to get into my book The Spark Solution tonight, too. I was interrupted in those books by my move.

I hurt my arthritis with moving all those heavy boxes around and had to get off my feet a while, but I think I can start exercising tomorrow again. I have walked outside a bit, and it is a cute neighborhood. I am in a senior complex in a rural town in Arkansas . The people are so nice here .I like them. I was not happy in my last home and I am glad to be relocated near my daughter and granddaughter. But they are not used to having to worry about me, and it creates a little tension. So I am set on saving money as fast as possible to buy a car. I have not owned a car in 20 years .But I drove that UHaul truck here with no trouble! I enjoyed it .Driving gives a feeling of freedom.

It is good to be connected to spark again for accountability and sharing.

Yes, Gwynn, my disability did switch to regular social security at 66.

Talk soon.

Edited by: SARAHPPP at: 11/18/2019 (18:09)
We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 3,985
10/28/19 6:00 A

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good luck on your move. At 67 you should be on regular social security. A counselor I know says that Social Security Disability turns into Social Security at 66

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
10/28/19 12:53 A

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OCTOBER 27 2019 Sunday

Well moving day is day after tomorrow. I am exhausted, but hanging in there. I am scared of driving that Uhaul truck from this town to the new one. It's just one hour, but still, I have not driven in ten years at least.

I managed to pack this whole one bedroom apartment myself with my arthritis. My ankle went out last week and I was on crutches with it for 2 or 3 days, and that scared me in the middle of a move, but it healed and now it's much better. In prayer I am getting advice to help me push thru and it seems to be working.

My daughter came by yesterday and we had a nice mother daughter day shopping. I am moving near her, and we expect to be much happier living close by. My ten year old granddaughter is very excited about me coming, too, and it is wonderful to be so welcomed by family. I am 67. Not everybody is so welcomed by family at that age. I am currently living in a senior complex and cannot wait to get out of here!

I lost ten pounds in Oct, my first month on my renewed fitness program, and that is over my goal of 8 lb. But of course I am wavering and gaining 2 or 3 lb back as the month goes on, but I officially weigh in on Oct 31. I have learned to slow down and be more realistic with weight loss. It used to happen so fast for me. Now I have 100 lb to lose and it cannot come off fast at this age. But I am motivated and have a good plan that I look forward to putting into effect after the move as soon as I can. I will lose internet for a while after my move so my fitness journal will be interrupted here for a while, but we will see how long. I am glad to have this journal at spark where I do not feel isolated adn alone.

I am also learning to save money on my low disability income, at last. It's all a matter of not spending! Like not eating. These NOT things are difficult and so important! It is so easy to do too much. I want less in all areas of my life. To lighten up! I really look forward to my new life. I want to be happy for the years I have left. I don't want to spend them in a wheel chair with obesity and arthritis, or broke and out of control of my life because I have no control over my spending.

I think these last 20 years ( I hope!) of my life will be the very best. I have worked and striven a long long time to arrive at a good place in life. And I feel like it is paying off. If you just keep going, you DO get there!

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
10/28/19 12:35 A

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That sounds like a good plan, Gwynn! I look forward to hearing about your recipes...but after I move I will be offline for a while, I don't know how long. Hope it is not too long. Interent is expensive in the rural place I am moving to, and I have to figure out my budget.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 3,985
10/26/19 8:49 A

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Yes I should look at changing my exercise routine but I think I need to start with my eating program first. I want to change up my eating pattern and lower my calories and carbs and up my protein. I have some ideas on how to do that. I am oging on line this weekend to get recipes

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
10/25/19 6:53 A

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October 25, Friday 2019

Addendum: I am thinking about getting those Dinnerly menus delivered to my house after I move, when I get my budget stabilized again after the move. I may try it. I have never tried to have meals delivered before but it may be really helpful. I think it may be worth a try for me. I am ready to try new and different things than I have done before. When I had my broken leg and was in a wheelchair, I had meals on wheels delivered and that was really helpful. I never had to cook. It takes a lot of pressure off and a lot of decision making off. I might make use of that help at least try it one month and see how it goes.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
10/25/19 6:43 A

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October 25, Friday, 2019

I am working to keep off that ten pounds this month and it is a struggle but I knew it would be. I am still packing to move and that is adding a lot of exercise to my life. In fact, I hurt my weak ankle with the lifting and carrying heavy things, and I had to take several days to let it heal. That was scary. But praise God it is healing apparently! I am 67 and I have a steel plate in my leg instead of a real ankle, for three years now. My leg got caught when I fell on my bicycle three years ago and my ankle shattered, partly because of arthritis caused by obesity. So, it's all a struggle, but it's life and I am just grateful I can make some progress. Spark helps me to set more realistic goals for myself. I tend to try to go too fast with my goals. As I get older that just does not work.

I am in detox this month since I have cut down my portions so much and am avoiding the junk food more. It always happens. It is just withdrawal. I itch all over especially at night, cannot sleep, have nightmares, headaches, and my immune system takes a beating. But there is no avoiding it. The worst of it lasts for the first 30 days. So I am hoping it will let up pretty soon. If I go back to overeating, it will just go up and down and up and down and never be over. My body is accustomed to an excess of food and all the chemical responses that causes. I sweat at night, choke while I try to sleep, and cough and have obesity-induced asthma where my throat closes up. But those symptoms have abated for the last week, thank goodness, since I cut my food down and have pretty much stuck to it, altho I am wavering with my portions and it is a struggle. But the Spark menus help me a lot. I have just bought the spark cookbook and the book the Spark Solution recently. I am too busy to read them right now, but as soon as I get moved I want to get into them as fast as possible.

I thank God that he is helping me. I pray every day and he is my best friend. But I need people too, and spark provides a chance to make friends like Gwynn. I am really happy to talk to others who are struggling with obesity as I am.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
10/25/19 6:26 A

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Yes Gwynn, I changed my eating by cutting my daily portions in half and I doubled my exercise because this month I am packing to move to another town where my lifestyle can be much healthier. I am a health nut from way back so I did not need to change my food itself too much, altho I have eliminated my go-to fast food of frozen pizza this month. Right now pizza is the big one I am giving up. I had got myself in the frozen pizza habit, more for convenience than anything else. I was not in a cooking mood lately. But this weight problem has been on for a good 15 years. My real problem with weight is my bipolar meds, but that can be managed if I try hard enough and don't give up. I have mood swing hurdles and the meds that go with them to fight when I try to control my eating . But I can do that if I can get motivated enough and have support, which I get from Spark people .com.

The first month of a diet, I always lose more weight, and this October was my re-start month, so that is why I lost ten pounds. However I am struggling to keep it off all month long. I knew it would be a struggle, and it is. Dropping the scale is one thing--but to keep it off is another.

But I hear you that you cannot get the scale to drop right now. Have you tried to re-start your fitness program completely? Do something different. Anything. A fresh approach may be needed. It makes no sense to do the same old thing and expect different results. If your program has not been working for you for some time, then maybe you need to change that program. Look at your life, maybe, and find something significant you can change. Like, I am moving---and without this move, I was having no success at weight loss either. I was in a lifestyle where I was deteriorating, living in a senior citizen apartment complex where there is no activity and no one with whom I have anything in common. These are not Spark-type people, and they are not my kind of people. The whole lifestyle is very bad. It is a good place to deteriorate and die. So I am making a great effort to get out of here and live another more active way, near my loved ones so I will not be isolated.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 3,985
10/21/19 5:58 A

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lost 10 pounds in 20 days? that seems like a lot. did you change your eating? skip meals? I am not losing any -- need to change my eating patterns

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
10/20/19 9:34 P

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Sunday Oct 20 2019

Today I weighed in at my month goal for October! I went from 235 to 225 in 20 days. Now the challenge to hold on to it!!!

I am still packing for my move and all that heavy lifting is make me burn lots of calories! and I love it! I have lived a sedentary life much too long! And that is OVER. I intend to hit the ground running after I move and get on an outdoor fitness program that will keep- my momentum from this move going. I really love the feeling of all this weight lifting and bending and working. I am thinking of organizing some kind of work for myself to keep it going after I move. Maybe a volunteer job where I lift and sort things, like in a second hand shop. I want to get out and do yard work but I have not been able to move to a place like that yet. I am still in an an apartment complex for the elderly. They are LETHAL. I intend to get out and stay out!

Edited by: SARAHPPP at: 10/20/2019 (21:40)
We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 3,985
10/19/19 4:14 P

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you do much better writing on line than I do. my weight fluctuates. My weight is standing still

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
10/19/19 2:10 P

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Saturday Oct 19 2019

Well I am continuing to pack to move near my daughter and granddaughter and that is providing me with exercise. I hate where I am living now and isolate in the apartment, so my new home will be much better for me--provide contact with my family and a situation where I can walk to numerous places in a small town. I had a goal of losing 8 lb this month and I lost 7.5 quickly, but put 2.5 back on in the last week. I lost control of my eating after taking a sleeping aide that left a hangover and make me eat---and I LOST CONTROL OF MY EATING FOR 6 DAYS!

But now I have stopped the overeating for the last two days and taken one lb off again. So I am going to try to keep that going an make my one month goal--or better if I am lucky .It just takes sustained effort. I lost 53 lb about 20 years ago in ten months, an average of 5 lb per month. I cannot keep a perfectly controlled program going, so I have to take the averages, but as Long as I make the effort, I make progress. It took me 20 years to be ready for a long sustained effort again like this. I have changed many behaviors and beat bad habits in my life, and I can beat this one too. Eating is the last bad habit I have. I have beat everything else and solved every other problem. I am 67 years old. And I will manage this one too! It takes as long as it takes. That's life.

Edited by: SARAHPPP at: 10/19/2019 (14:15)
We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
10/15/19 11:12 A

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Tues October 15 2019

Next day. I overate twice yesterday and once the day before after taking that narcotic to sleep one night. The pill leaves a hangover that affects me for at least 24 hours. That will teach me to not mess with my sleep schedule! I slept a natural sleep last night though and feel better. I gained 2.5 lb in the last two days of eating, but I am still 5 lb down this month. I have an 8 lb goal for October. I was only 1/2 lb from making it three days ago!! But I blew it by going to bed hungry. THAT WILL TEACH ME. Lessons learned one at a time. I am writing this lesson in my book: Do not go to bed hungry because you won't sleep! It is not worth it to try to shrink my stomach overnight. It does not work for me. I am not young anymore.

Edited by: SARAHPPP at: 10/19/2019 (14:13)
We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 196
10/14/19 8:16 P

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Monday Oct 14, 2019

Hi I am Sarah and I am opening this journal to help keep me motivated and in right thinking day to day on my fitness program. I am 67 years old and started (re-started) my fitness program on Oct 1 at 235 lb with a goal to lose 8 lb in October. I am making progress but the last two days I have overeaten and gained pounds back! One thing I learned: I cannot go to bed hungry trying to shrink my stomach. When I was young that quick fix worked, but not now. I am bipolar, so it sets off mania and I will not sleep. Then I become exhausted and must take a sleep pill (narcotic) which will cause me to go off my eating plan within 24 hours. And then I have to struggle to get back balanced again. Eating in a controlled moderate way depends on being balanced with exercise and sleep as well. No more going to bed hungry for me! I will be sure to keep a light snack in the kitchen for such nights. But the best thing is to eat at schedules times during the day so I do not get hungry at night. That will be my focus tomorrow.

Edited by: SARAHPPP at: 10/19/2019 (14:13)
We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


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