SP Premium
Walking Guide
Message board topics
Reply Create A New Topic Subscribe to this Discussion
Author:
JERRYWILD SparkPoints: (33)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 6
5/15/20 6:45 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
It's really strange

LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 31,752
4/16/20 12:41 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
The OP is long gone... almost 2.5 YEARS since this post.
Their Spark page was even deleted.

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
~ Randy Pausch

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."
~ Art Turock

"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good."
~ 7 Years in T
MARYJOANNA's Photo MARYJOANNA Posts: 17,361
4/14/20 7:09 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Avoid the subject of weight loss. Maybe take walks together or window shop together.



level 25
452,709 SparkPoints
LISAMARIE2015's Photo LISAMARIE2015 Posts: 5,667
4/11/20 3:23 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
That stinks :( I would avoid the subject personally and try to find a friend or just come to Sparkpeople to get support. Maybe she will come around eventually but for now, I would just avoid the subject with her and probably find other things to do aside from clothes shopping.



 Pounds lost: 18.0 
0
10.25
20.5
30.75
41
CD25372332 Posts: 533
3/8/20 6:16 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Message Removed

DARCY-B's Photo DARCY-B Posts: 6,510
3/29/19 10:35 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
@JWW0115
Sometimes, best friends and sisters are so comfortable expressing themselves to us, they don't realize we are being hurt in the process. Time for some coffee and conversation. If you don't think that will be heard, write it down and send it to her. Sadly, the people we love who love us cannot always support everything we do. Sometimes, too much of their own stuff gets in the way. It is important to have the discussion so you will know if this is an area where she cannot be supportive or if she just doesn't realize she's hurting you.

Darcy



 Pounds lost: 2.0 
0
13
26
39
52
AEVANSNUTRITION's Photo AEVANSNUTRITION Posts: 1,198
2/25/19 11:56 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
This is super challenging and I am so sorry. :(

I guess if I were in your shoes, I would try my best to set a good example and continue the efforts towards better health, but also slow the chatter about weight loss until she opens up to you and is ready to make changes herself.

I know she is your best friend, but do you have another close friend or family member that you can count on in the meantime?



 current weight: 152.9 
152.9
143.425
133.95
124.475
115
SPUNOUTMOM's Photo SPUNOUTMOM Posts: 1,548
7/11/18 2:38 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I am in a similar situation, but my sister at 5'2 and 240lbs is in denial about her weight. her doctor has told her she needs to lose 10% of her body weight to help some of her medical conditions. But she says that her weight is mostly muscle and her skinny doctor doesn't know her healthy lifestyle. But I just continue to do what I need to do and I have gone to others for support instead of her. I hope you find someone else to help and support you through your lifestyle changes



Total SparkPoints: 0
0
24
49
74
99
SparkPoints Level 1
SUZIEQUE77's Photo SUZIEQUE77 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (80)
Posts: 1,073
7/6/18 6:23 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
You just learn not to talk about stuff with people you care about when it becomes evident they really don't want to hear it. Jealousy is an ugly word, but we are all human and I think we all feel it sometimes, so I would cut the sister some slack, but yes she is jealous and yes she is human. There are overweight people in my life that I would love to help, but it is glaringly clear people don't want my help. I have maintained weight loss through what I feel are very reasonable measures, but nobody wants to hear it. They will keep going with the latest fads, believe in the "don't eat this or that" diet and pretend that is the magic answer they are looking for. They don't know anyone who has lost and maintained the loss for years on the latest fad they are attempting, and they don't really want to hear from me (someone who has lost and is maintaining). If somebody proves you can be successful with moderation, no cutting out anything completely, eating lots of carbs and yes, consuming diet soda whenever I feel like it.

I learned about calories and how if you take in more than you burn, you gain, and if you burn more than you take in, you lose, back in the 70's in school. There is really not much new in this regard. It is simple (but not necessarily easy if you like to eat for the wrong reasons, and have bad habits).

But this does not fit with today's media and agenda so nobody is going to listen to me and I will be nobody's role model, and few will ever ask me for help or advice.

With your sister, talk about anything but weight loss and healthy eating, unless she makes it obvious she wants to talk about it.



 current weight: 118.2 
121.8
120.85
119.9
118.95
118
KMILLER31 Posts: 5,818
3/16/18 2:00 P

Reply
Your success may be making your friends feel guilty or jealous. Try not to flaunt it, but don't lose sight of your goals either.

ONETHM's Photo ONETHM Posts: 1,235
2/9/18 3:05 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Give her time. I know that my sister was on Weight Watchers last year and I really disliked hearing all about her successes, just because I wasn't ready to loss weight along with her. Now that I am stepping up to the issue, I love talking with her and comparing notes.



 Pounds lost: 28.0 
0
16.5
33
49.5
66
CLIONAAISLING's Photo CLIONAAISLING Posts: 186
12/28/17 11:23 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Can you say to your sister who is your best friend, "I feel cut off from you when I want to get healthier and you aren't supportive." ?
She likely doesn't know how you feel unless you tell her.


I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds. 2 Corinthians 7 v 4b


 current weight: 194.2 
212
187.75
163.5
139.25
115
BEBAUGH1 Posts: 1,503
12/26/17 3:00 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I have a friend that gets jealous. She started going to the gym with me but that lasted 2 weeks. So I share my journey with my friends with those who encourage me. I am not the food or exercise police with my friend. Hopefully your sister is not trying to get you to stop.



 current weight: 157.0 
201
185.75
170.5
155.25
140
STUBBY_DOUGLAS's Photo STUBBY_DOUGLAS SparkPoints: (37,965)
Fitness Minutes: (24,601)
Posts: 1,331
12/22/17 3:54 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I'd avoid the subject, even when choosing your food at the grocery. Just shop and talk on other things. Live your healthy journey humbly. When she's in a place where she can lose weight, you'll be a wonderful inspiration for her. Hope things work out well for you both.

Doug Stubbs
"I have had more trouble with myself than with any other man." D.L. Moody
“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” C.S. Lewis


 current weight: -10.0  under
15
7.5
0
-7.5
-15
MISSLORI5's Photo MISSLORI5 Posts: 15,024
12/10/17 12:03 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I had that same problem with a good friend of mine! She had a hard time being supporting when she felt guilty for the way she was treating her body. I quit mentioning my losses, but my getting smaller was obvious! Eventually, she did come to the point where she was ready to treat her body better, and now we can support one another very well! Be patient with your sis, maybe just stop mentioning your new way of life, let her see the proof, she’ll get the message!

Edited by: MISSLORI5 at: 12/10/2017 (00:04)

MissLori5-Lori
Central time zone
Piedmont, OK
Member 5% Daisies
Member of Purple Phoenix BLC team
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength-Phil.4:13


 Pounds lost: 65.2 
0
33
66
99
132
FUNNYGIRLJESS's Photo FUNNYGIRLJESS SparkPoints: (11,849)
Fitness Minutes: (6,365)
Posts: 532
11/28/17 6:26 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
It's not easy going separate ways with a best friend and or sister. You didn't want this.
If you can't talk about it...then stick to the things that you and she like.



 current weight: 146.5 
150
146.75
143.5
140.25
137
HAWKTHREE's Photo HAWKTHREE SparkPoints: (67,698)
Fitness Minutes: (24,124)
Posts: 4,676
11/25/17 8:52 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
My sister have a major difference of opinion on something. Usually we can avoid it, but a death in the family made that impossible. I had the difficult job of telling my sister how much something hurt me that she does. It didn't resolve the situation but it stopped her actions.

----
There is no such thing as the final success in life. What is really meaningful is the courage to face the next minute, the next hour, the next day.


 Pounds lost: 16.0 
0
5.5
11
16.5
22
LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 31,752
11/21/17 8:12 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Some people do not like when others go on and on about a subject they have no interest in.
Like new grandparents showing of zillions of photos! So excited, but so boring (or sad, or depressing....) to others.
Since the details of your weight loss upsets both of you, find other things to talk about.

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
~ Randy Pausch

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."
~ Art Turock

"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good."
~ 7 Years in T
JWW0115 Posts: 8
11/21/17 9:38 A

Send Private Message
Reply
My sister and I are very close. We both have trouble with weight gains and attempts to lose. Since I've started trying to lose weight, my sister has been very negative. I know she loves me and supports me but I guess it's hard when she's not in a place where she's ready or able to try to lose weight. I understand that. My problem is that she doesn't want to hear about my success/failures. If we go shopping, she is negative about my shopping smaller sizes. Since we spend a lot of time together and usually provide a lot of support, I'm not sure exactly how to handle this. Other than not sharing this with her in order not to make her feel bad which makes me feel bad because she's my best friend.


Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Inappropriate Post

Other Parenting and Family Support Topics:

Topics:
Last Post:
12/18/2019 9:53:56 PM
3/8/2020 6:15:35 PM
8/7/2019 12:33:14 AM
7/5/2020 9:57:41 AM
5/15/2020 8:11:01 AM

Thread URL: https://wfl.sparkpeople.com/myspark/messageboard.asp?imboard=61&imparent=43678933

Review our Community Guidelines